I shake my fist at you St Patrick!

Yes, I shake my fist heavenward and darn it I bite my thmb at him too. St Patrick's Day Eve we take a lovely drive up past Slemish; St Patrick's Day we plant the potatoes, as is tradition; St Patrick's evening Maggie is extremely ill and St Patrick's boxing Day [I know that doesn't really exist] Maggie goes into hospital [ie. the vets] to be put on a drip, poor darling. Huh!!! Me and you Paddy, we're not friends right now!

That's right, what did my little Maggie do to deserve this? Vomitting and diahorrea all evening and the through the night. Now she's in Gleno and I'm here and we are apart and I miss her and she probably wants a cuddle. This was her last night - dry nose, shivering and being sick every 15 mins :(

*******

In the meantime, I shall tell you about our St Patrick's Day. I do hope you had a good one, funny we don't really go for it here in Northern Ireland but Andrew did have the day off. There wasn't any green face paint or dyed beer, but we did go ot for breakfast - here's Andrew's Irish fry. Oh and I saw a leprechan!, honest, look.....

I decided it would be a good time to try the walk from or new house [still not finished yet even thogh I am wishing hard every day] to the lotties on my own. Disaster. I had the biggest panic attack in absoltley ages and had to be taken home an hour later and put to bed. But and I stress the but becase this is not a defeatist blog, we did get the spuds planted - hoorah!

We did it differently this year and instead of just planting them into the beds and covering them up, we put down black membrane, cut holes in it and planted the potato down in there [ ohhhh, lovely soil]. I'm hoping all the extra work was worth it, supposedly we won't have to worry about weeds and we won't need to ridge up the beds through out the growing season. We'll see if it's better than past years and let you know.

This year we went for 'British Queens' and 'Pentland Javelin', Andrew made white stakes to mark the beds, looks good me but I think I'll have to get hold of them and write the words in permenant marker so it stands out more, hehe. There weren't any 'Maris Piper/Peer' this year which is a little upsetting as they're my favourite but I guess these potatoes could be almost as nice, haha. Now, Andrew didn't take off any extra eyes from the seed potatoes, what do you think of that???? I'm not the one that reads the books and magazines but for some reason I believed you had to take at least some off if you want good sized potatoes in the crop - what do you do?

At this stage Maggie and I had to go home [why St Patrick, why do you not like us??] due to ill health. So Andrew had the place to himself and did some other work which goes unphotographed. For example he planted a Dehlia and soaked the Persian Buttercup tubers and put them in compost to be planted properly on Saturday. He also did some chit chatting and a good lot of looking.

Anyway that was our crappy St Patrick's day - so much for 'the luck o' the Irish!'
As I feel a bit low and Maggie-less I'll leave it there for today but I still have to tell you all about that trip to Sunnybank at the weekend and all the news about the great seedling germination we've had this week and what else we've planted in the beds - - tomorrow, tomorrow. Big hugs, I'm off to read about other people's day, hopefully better than mine xxx

A quick ode to Andy; whilst he's out

I still haven't got my 'u' back or my close bracket and zero button! It's all rather annoying to say the least but I go on trying to type quick before Andy gets back with a DVD and some wine...... I think it's time for a new laptop!

Andrew's coldframe~

Yes this is the masterpiece I have been teasing you about. It was made totally by my hubby's own fair hands [sorry, that should read, strong manly hands, hahah] in the back garden. The frame was from his old single bed which we turfted ot once we moved into this, his old bedroom. Then the rest he bought in a DIY store and the magic just happened off the top of his sweet ginger head. Genius [Phone just rang there; Andy mst know we're talking about him...]. Anywho, I think it is glorious and even more wonderful than his first cold frame which can just be seen here in the background of the photo....You're a little jealous, aren't you, just accept it.....

Andrew's favourite new toy~

This is something my science geek of a hubby has wanted for ages, a max/min outdoor thermometer. He is pointing excitely at the results of it's first afternoon hanging on the shed - hmmmm, wow! Yeah, wow. We got this on Suday at the brand new and super fab Sunnybank nursery. We had 2 trolleys when we came out of there but I'll tell you about that later on.

Andrew's plan~

Thought this was cute on the back of the shed door, his plan for the coming season, where things are to be planted and which beds have been fed. He likes plans, I think it's the archaeologist in him.

Andrew's new wall/ entrance way in 14b~

I love this, it's very cute and practial; stones we had lifted when preparing the beds are arranged about the side of the new path in a lovely curve. Also, he planted another Rhubarb plant we got on Sunday and tied in the blackberry securely. The path will eventually be bark mulched around there too but it's a big improvement already.

Lastly, Andrew's favorite thing ever~

Planting seeds and giving his plots a darn good looking at on a nice sunny day at his lotties with his girls!!!

xxxxxx

Bloomin' Monday - Magenta Tulips

Another Bloomin' Monday has come upon us, crept up like a thief in the night. Were are the days going? I can hardly believe the weekend is over but joy does wait in the wings....St Patrick's Day is on Wednesday and of course my hubby will be off and it shall be spud planting day!

Now though, let us commually bask in glory of these Tulips, which are making me smile today as they have done all weekend. I'm so tired after a terrible nights sleep that I have been staring at these quite a lot to calm the mind and ease the double vision (I have 18 tulips in my world, haha ).

Going to have a nice packed week of stuff to share so for now I'm going to enjoy my decaff coffee and snuggle up with Maggie and my blanket and listen to the rain...until I finally drift off to sleep......

x

Hoorah, I slept and to celebrate here's another tulip photo xxxxx

Purple Sprouting Broccoli

Can anyone tell me the point in Purple Sprouting Broccoli? I do not understand the fuss.Well, until I saw Matron's. We grew this last year as well and got pretty much nothing, zip, zilch, nada. This year looks the same, oh yes there are minisule little sprouts as Andrew tries to point out to placate me but really, all this space, a whole half bed {though I suppose it is one of the only things on the plot over winter} and one of those plants is dead. Oh it makes me wince everytime I see these plants. Is there a point??? What am I not getting here??? I am trying to be patient but I can only take so much!

One of the offending plants.....

On the other hand, a friend has been so inspired by our fabulous Brussel Sprouts at christmas that he is growing his own this year and from what I hear he is very very excited about it all!! hehehe ;)

And we had a delicious pile of Perpetual Spinach in our dinner this week. Yummy! We have been utterly shameful and just ignoring the stuff up til now *blush*. It was so good too.

So let's get on with it - what we did last weekend.

Haha! I have copied a letter 'u' and shall now go through the whole blog pasting them in, hahahaha, can't stop me, evil keyboard!!!

So all these blasted nervous breakdowns and major panic attacks have really left me in a pickle this week. Plus, my keyboard has decided that there simply aren't enough 'u' s in the world and keep throwing them in everywhere except when I actually want one!!! Oh oh, now they have gone altogether! Eeekk.

I would like to start with the very 1st crop planted on the lotties this year, the Broad Bean. I planted them out, yes little old me. It's becoming a tradition, in that I did it last year as well and I am happy to report that I did not panic at all doing this delicate work; I am gaining confidence it would  seem. With the little sun tunnels over them I reckon they'll be fine and Andrew, when he visited after work yesterday, said they looked perky, so I'm happy. We'll do another sowing direct into the soil very soon, once the frosts die back.

Speaking of soil, I thought you may appreciate a little soil porn *blush*. This was worked very hard with a lot of manure and seaweed and homemade compost added. Andrew ridged the beds up over winter and now, with the help of our Azada they just crumbled apart. It's really lovely soil and I don't even think it will need riddled this year. Yippee! all that work work paid off.

Then another task for me - just look at how sunny it was here on saturday. I planted ot the Sweet Pea seeds into loo rolls. We do this because the cardboard bio-degrades in the soil, I mean we plant the whole seedling in it's loo roll! It works really well and as Sweet Peas love to have long root systems and are fragile with it, the roots don't get bothered at all. I must just point ot Andrew's very clever string use here to keep the rolls all tightly packed together and more strudy. Clever boy. I planted 'Cupani' and some free ones that came with a magazine, I believe it just said 'tall' on them. Fingers crossed my new home will have nice fresh flowers often.

Here is the hubby planting more Peas, but the edible type this time. I know 'Kelvedon Wonder' was one variety, as we really like them but I think he ended up sowing 2 or 3 types. See the use of a pencil to push the seeds down - I use my finger but his are too big, especially when it's 2 to a pot!!

Finally, I have a photo of our new greenhouse. We bought it in Lidls, so not dear but it is really well made and very strudy. I was inside it - it's 3ft high and 6ft long, so I found it comfty and well, warm as it should be. There are vents in the side and the front zips open in 2 layers -first the green bit can be rolled up and tied out of the way to reveal a mesh, which keeps the bugs out but which can also be zippered open and tied back. I swear one day, this plot WILL look good, hahaha.

Posted, with shame, I hope that the letter problem didn't stop everyone from reading :(

hahaha fixed it!

Not just as terrible now Andy is here

Oh how I love my hubby. He bounded home and up the stairs with hugs galore and more seeds in his pocket. Of course he knew I had had another bad day and he had rung people on my behalf to complain at my treatment (my hero) but he also had a cheery smile and a homemade song to lift my spirits. He worries about me but he also makes sure to reassure me and just be by my side - I'm a lucky girl.

We've just had dinner and now he is outside/inside making lots of productive noise with his man toys (drills and what not); almost finished his fabulous new cold frame. Of which he is rightly proud. I shall take photos tomorrow and share his joy with you. It is a masterpiece.

I was thinking about just how much he adores gardening and the effort he puts into to all this; planning, researching, chatting with others at the lotties and looking. He is very good at the art of giving a garden a good looking at, haha.

Well here is a photo of Andrew and a pea.

All the magic of life on this Earth in his hand.

By the way, I hope my new background isn't too much, I just wanted cheering up earlier and I love these wee owls. xx

and back to terrible..

At least terrible is written in small letters this time, not caps. I pushed too hard yesterday trying to recapture my monday and have my tuesday too. So today I have a migraine that will not go away and as of half an hour ago a huge panic attack has started and I feel I'm going to have to built a fort and hide in it, Maggie has put herself forward as guard dog. Brave wee girl.

Fingers crossed I'll see you tomorrow. Nothing can break my spirit these days! Roarrrrrr!

This is a photo from the Belleek pottery factory of our favourite gardening friends, the ladybird. Oh, that we could just make a load of them for the lottie as easily!

Reclaiming my Bloomin' Monday!

Well gosh darn it if the mind monster in my head didn't just steal another day from me. I am here (not at full power but getting there) to get it back! I am aware that it is Tuesday but this is my blog and here I make the rules. So today is Monday - I shall have my Monday with a side of 'happy', thank you very much Mr Monster.

As per usual I have a very beautiful bloom to share with you (which ironically may not have been this open and this gorgeous yesterday...). This little darling and her friends were found outside in a pot in Mamma G's garden. Just smiling away at the world and easily overlooked; with a bin in front of them poor dears.

Also whilst outside I was able to see the sun room window sill (it's so full in there with all Andrew and my sofas and furniture etc, that it is for the present, un-useable. Andrew, with his long legs and arms can reach all the way to this window from the inside (amazing what the body can do in extreme situations) and has these Spuds chitting away merrily. Of course they won't be planted until St Patrick's Day (as is tradition). Beside them in a very condensation filled covered tray I think there are Celeraic and happy news from the lottie yesterday ~ tiny specks of green in the Leek seed trays!! Yippeeeeee.

Andrew also planted some Tomato seeds, they're on a window sill too, I think it's the kitchen, can't think where else they could be.

Still have lots to tell about the lottie at the weekend. But for now a very big THANK YOU to everyone who wrote a comment yesterday. Reading them late last night honestly gave me a lot of hope and strength. I truly have the nicest followers in the world. I will get around to personal replies but forgive me, migraines are haunting me after yesterday and I can't stay on the computer long. Big HUGS xx

And now I'm having a TERRIBLE day

Swings and roundabouts. Good days are seemingly always followed by horrendous days in my world. Yesterday wasn't good and today has so far been a nightmare (quite literally as I have been in severe panic mode all morning and now it's creeping back which means my sedatives are wearing off, I've had such trouble breathing I now have chest pains and for some reason I've taken to biting myself very hard and even growling. I can feel my heart beating in my throat and want to throw up, my blood pressure is going up again and I feel sudden bursts of anger). Things, well, aren't good.

Fingers crossed I can cope better tomorrow, lots to share from Saturday.
Please send happy vibes my way, these sorts of days make me very dispondent and scared xxx

I had a GOOD day.

Yep, me!! For the first time in ages I actually had a good day, isn't that fab?? The morning started off a bit crap but then, as Andrew was working near by (at Carrickfergus Castle) he came to Mamma G's and took me out to have lunch with him. We went to a lovely little place, a deli/coffee shop and chatted and looked at all the jams and chutneys for sale - inspiring! Outside it was a little cold but the sky was blue and the sea was lovely to look at (I could'nt live away from the sea, it's always been there right at the doorstep my whole life).

Andrew went back to work and I worked on a couple of guest bloggettes  for Mind and a new bag I am going to sew. But lo and behold, the phone rang and Andrew was coming home again!! He had been given the rest of the day off. So.......to the Lottie with us!!!!!

Finally, a day were the sun was shining and the ground was reasonably dry. I planted out the first crops - Broad beans ('Aquadulce Claudia') that had been in the cold frame. I have little cloches over them but they look happy, fingers crossed. The weather is supposed to be okay for a while, oh touch wood!! Then we made up our new, super duper tent coldframe/greenhouse where we hope to do great things with tomatoes and chillies. That's the idea anyway. It's so big I was inside it whilst we worked on getting it put together. Unfortunatley I didn't have a camera with me but I'll take pictures at the weekend.

The atmosphere was lovely and the birds were tweeting away merrily. We had a nice chat with some follow lottie folk and enjoyed the sunshine on our faces. The leeks Andrew sowed at the start of the week went into the new tent structure (no signs of green yet - I looked). And we looked in awe at how good the garlic is coming along and the fat buds on the spring bulbs we planted - daffodils and tulips ahoy.

Anyway, as I said I forgot my camera so here are a few from the weekend past. Hope you are having some workable weather! xxx

Anenomes still flowering!   We finally remembered to bring the garlic string home

My motto on the shed door

Cosy chat in with Bill

Doug and Jasmine have a hug on their plot

Quite scary though lying down on the job.

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Too many blogs, too many darn good blogs to try and keep up with! God grief I lose my concentration for a week (sleeping problems = bad concentration + double vision = can't be bothered) and you all go nuts writing blogettes like there is no tomorrow! I must knuckle down and read tonight.

Tonight is of course the first Wednesday of the month and therefore.....(drum roll)....the Allotment Committee meeting. (Drum roll fades out into a dismal few bashes on said drum). It seems it could all be, excuse the expression, going tits up. Ronnie, my super duper lottie mate has resigned as Chairperson, another member resigned a few weeks ago and Andrew is ready to do the same. They just aren't getting any happier and the whole thing is ruining the lottie experience for each and every one of them. I CAN NOT have my hubby crazy like Christmas morning about building a new cold frame and getting on with the seed planting one mintue and then remembering there's a meeting coming up and getting all depressed. The allotments are a place of JOY!! I feel I need to scream it at everyone. Politics? Leave me out of it, I know that is the cowards way but I am not there to lead, I am there for therapy.

So tonight, whilst the meeting goes ahead, I will be trying to catch up on some missed blogs, I have a feeling the meeting may be well over before I'm done!

Keep smiling xx

A new begining

Somehow the Earth has her secret ways of giving you a boost when you least expect it and most need it. Today, this very morning she was kind to me in the midst of a crisis...I recieved 2 more adorable Valentines cards, covered with stamps, from people I don't really know all the way in America, sending me love and allowing me (after a horrendous Maggie walking experience were I thought my heart was going to explode with panic) to feel worthy of life for a while. Beautiful, hand made cards, one with a quote I love and one with a poem (amongst other lovelies) that has really touched my soul. 

I am utterly depressed today but I am sitting here on my wee sofa, looking at those gorgeous yellow tulips surrounded by 6 Valentines on the table; they have a little bit of the palest blue sky above them and on the dresser next to that table sits 2 seed trays - life and love and hope are all around me. May it seep into me as the day goes on.

*****

Andrew planted leek seeds last night; he had been getting super anxious about the lack of sowing done so far, so now the new allotment year has offically started in our home. We chose good old 'Musselburgh' again and 'Lyon 2 Prizetaker' so fingers crossed. I shall now be staring at these darn trays intently, waiting for that first speck of green, think me not crazy, but I may even talk to them ~ you know, to encourage them to grow and poke their little heads up into this big bad world. Who knows, one of these could indeed be a prize taker, as this year I think the lotties are going to get more competitive ;)

Bloomin' Monday - Yellow Tulips

Ah, March! we know thou art Kind-hearted, spite of ugly looks and threats, And, out of sight, art nursing April's violets!

 Helen Hunt Jackson

Happy March to you all xx

Neeps and leeks

The world doesn't stop just because you're sad or a person passes away. Thats the cruelty of Mother Nature and her blessing. We need to keep going, living our own rich adventure and experiencing all we can (good and bad) along the way. I will think often of Bobby and miss him. But where he here, he would be unstoppable in his enthusiasm about the allotment, especially at this time of year. He would have Shelia's head turned talking about plans and Ronnie driven mad with rebukes about his smoking (it is bad for you and I guess you would get more done down there x).

So in that spirit I return to blogging. Life goes on.

****

We haven't been able to do a damn thing. Grrr! This weather is horrible and for some reason it gets worse at the weekends ~ what's that all about??!! We have things to plant, soil to prepare, picnics to eat.

Andrew has built the frame work for another cold frame but as it isn't finished I won't show you it yet and I'm not about to go out in that freezing rain and wind to take a photo of it away, even if it was finished, hahaha. He's also sorting out his seeds and writing lots of stuff in his little Moleskin book; I've said it before, he's the gardener, I am merely his apprentice.

We have instead been continuing to enjoy to fruits of our labour from last year. Leeks galore and boy are they huge. Plus we've rediscovered the joy of turnips. A good while back we harvested the lot and stored them in sand, in an old wine box and put them in the cold darkness of the storage bench. Well lo and behold if they aren't the best preserved, tasty wee firm yum veggies. 'Purple Topped Milan' ~ you just can't beat them.

November (ignore the coke bottle - it can be thirsty work this allotmenteering lark)

Last nights dinner - yum!

Bloomin' Monday - Yellow Rose and White Carnation

I feel rather bad that all those posts came up automatically after my post on the death of Bobby. I had that all set up already before the news of his passing in order to keep the blog going whilst I was away in Fermanagh. It should have stayed focused on him for the rest of the week and I am sorry to have been, not exactly disrespectful but not respectful enough.

This week I will only post these photos of some beautiful blooms; a White Carnation (to express remembrance) and a Yellow Rose ( for my earnestness).

My thanks to everyone who spoke kind words of regret and encouragement. I am pleased to say that the funeral was beautiful (personal, touching and full of love) and the fabulous St Nicholas' Church in Carrickfergus was packed to the rafters, so loved was the man and his family.

Time to rip it all out and start again.

I am cheeky ~ here are a couple of photos I took on another (unnamed) plot. They need to clear out and compost away, I tell you!! A spring clean if you will.

Well we're going to be back in a day or two and then it's straight to work. Andrew ordered 'special' seeds from the internet which hopefully will have arrived whilst we are hiding away in our cottage. Plus we have viable ones from last year and of course the Pound shops have got their claws into the hubby too and a few packets here and there are popping up (''they were a really good price and we needed them'') every now and then.

Also have you noticed that the nurseries are actually acting like proper plant suppliers again after the mess and embarassment that is Christmas in a garden center??So many rows of seeds, oh seeds after seeds after seeds..... here's Andrew drooling over 1 aisle (there were 3 like this!) and not a stuffed, animated, singing toy or smelly 'holly berry' candle in sight - bliss.

It's time to get planting those little jewels into seed trays, the ground or toilet roll inners. I saw (darn it, can't remember where) recently a beautiful photo of a little girl planting seeds in egg shells - amazing, I would never of thought of that!! I've also been looking back over the photos of the past summer - wow what a vibrant place the allotments were then.

We're growing a house!

You know you want to see it, don't you?? We got the new morgage sorted out, the valuer will be there possibly today and then we sign the contract with the builder - Eekk, poo your pants time!! But I know, I just know you have been tearing your hair out to see what all the fuss it about well........ here's the artist's impression and here is reality as of last Saturday!!!

Reality isn't quite as pretty but you can't live in a picture!!

We're getting a new house, a new house, a house, we're getting one, a house that is..ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Plus ~  we also put up my bird box creations. I'm so embarassed  by them that I am not showing you a picture. I used a blunt saw, really thick boards with knots in them everywhere and I have double vision = not very good bird houses. But Andrew (sweet as he is) put them up and maybe (if birds are that picky) we'll get a resident, but I'm not holding my breath. 

Hope is a splendid thing

Okay I hated being there at my lotties last weekend, I've already admitted it. But now that I am safe and warm on my sofa with Maggie snoring aaway dreaming of biscuits and what not, I can see that there were signs of beauty and hope all around me. God, you see, this is why photography is so important to me! I am usually just in a panick or numb and it takes a while for me to really appreciate what I doing or where I am.

So I just wanted to share a few of the photos of HOPE I took. Hope lifts us up, keeps us going, it is the creator of love and joy. Embrace each little sign of it everyday if you can ~ the world isn't so scary with it by your side and in your heart.

Remember these bulbs being planted up in layers why back in November??

A forest of garlic (slight exaggeration?)

Tete a tete peeping up

Wallflowers doing well - but look at those tulips, so fat! :)

And nice big buds forming on my blueberry plants. Oh I want blueberry muffins, scones, cake with cream and strawberries, face mask?, alcohol? Everything blueberry this year - yumm.

My friend Bobby Johnston

I can't breathe, my mouth has gone dry; this isn't happening. My friend Bobby Johnston has passed away.

I, honestly can't think. Honestly I feel like this is a cruel joke. But no. Bobby is gone and I can't believe it.

I don't do eulogies, I feel that when you have met someone, shared part of their life and had them share yours, words can't express the loss and the hurt, certianly not in a blog (he was the first person at the lotties I told about my blog). I turned Bobby into my make believe Grandfather, the one I wish I had alive, sharing the allotment experience with me, having chats about nothing in particular and just smiling with eachother. I've never told anyone else that, but I did tell him, to his face. He saw me cry, he saw me laugh and he always had time for me, the real me, when I was down.

Bobby passed away on his plot.

He leaves behind a very very close knit family and a lovely wife, they will know doubt need to be at eachother sides to get through this. He also leaves behind a great many friends, a great many, as he was a great man. I am friends with Bobby's son Bill and his family and I dread even seeing them ~ if I am like this they must be, well I can't imagine how they must be.

I wrote about him here and countless other times, took photos galore but really none of that matters. My friend has died.

The Ministry of Food - a look back at rations

I had a whole other blogette ready to go for today and just managed to jump in in time to stop it being posted automatically. I just saw this and thought it was super duper interesting. All my grandparents are dead a long time now and I never got to ask the questions that I so dearly wish to ask now. I do have old ration books and coupons but they don't talk. I want to know them as people, as children, as lovers and as people my age in their life. But alas I think we all feel the same - gone too soon.

Anyway, here is a lovely black and white film about rationing in Second World War Britian.  Grow Your Own folks and Dig For Victory!!!xxxx

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8511000/8511309.stm

Oh how I would LOVE to own those old posters now. They are fabulous and did you notice - not a plastic bag in sight. We take things for granted don't we; well, as we grow our own we become more in tune with the hardship, the joy and the seasons. Fresh food, grown by your own fair hands - yum.

Poo, literally

Where should I start? I guess the first thing was we visited the building site on Saturday morning, we almost have a first floor - good news, eh? When I look at the workmen building away I can't help but think of those little creatures on Fraggle Rock, the Doozers, makes me giggle every time we visit.

I was at the allotment for the first time in quite a few weeks. To be brutally honest I hated every mintue of it and we didn't stay long. I felt really uncomfortable and panicky - it wasn't a 'safe place' to me at all. That's what happens when I stay away from somewhere or even someone, it's like the first ever meeting all over again. I tried to stick it out, took a sedative and went around photographing but it just wasn't working and Andrew had to take me home.

One thing that made me feel better was that the clay soil we have was still saturated so not much could be done anyway. Therefore Andrew shovelled some wheelbarrows of the new manure we had delivered on site. One of these bad boy mountains in each of the 4 fields. Lucky it's well rotted, can you imagine the stink and there are people living on the other side of that fence.

Funnily enough there were very few people about - the Rugby was on. Have to get your priorities right eh? But the quiet didn't make me feel any better. We go away for the week on Saturday so it's going to be a while before I'm back there again - I'm worried, I can't bare to feel like that on my lotties.

I'll be writing up some blogettes over the next couple of days and post dating them for the week ahead when I won't have the blessed internet at hand, so fear not - you won't miss out on anything. xxx

Bloomin' Monday - Hellebore

How's this for perfection? A gorgeous blemish free white Hellebore flower nestled in amongst the heathers at a local nursery. I think this is the 1st Hellebore flower I have met that wasn't shy whatsoever. Pity mine, at the lottie didn't make it quite as well - oops!

The dreaded Committee Meeting...

Okay, so I've left you hanging on tender hooks long enough. I know, you probably haven't been able to sleep let alone eat but now is the time to tell all.......

ALL IS WELL!!!!

According to the Hubby the meeting was surprisingly good with constructive debate, clarifications and agreements!? Yes this is the same meeting I was so worried about. Turns out we're all fine and dandy and the world is a glorious place to live. The Exordinary General Meeting has even been called off. What a fantabulous relief. There were of course details, but details didn't matter on Wednesday night once I'd seen Andrew's smiling face instead of his grumpy one after the meeting. There was also some very tasty wine so even if I had of been listening very closely indeed I couldn't tell those details, but who cares - the outcome was good!!!

Hold on, one of two items are floating into my mind ~ there is going to be a bulk order of manure and compost and the toilet is going to be moved to the middle point of the lotties, where the 4 fields meet. Wow, my brain is capable of some memory skills then! Horrah for that too.

Plus today I can see BLUE sky through these fab Velux windows, I got loads of ironing done, cleaned the kitchen, was given a bottle of my favourite perfume as a surprise gift and have finally got hold of some sewing machine thread - the time has come to use the machine for the first time! Eeek, I swear, it's been looking at me, taunting me.

Tomorrow WE ARE going to the plots come rain or shine and work SHALL be acheived and everything will be wonderful. Yea!, for the prevailance of common sense and a happy lottie full of happy people, planting happy seeds! I expect to see smiles all round and plenty of hard graft.

Allotments Rock!!!!!!!

Newton's 3rd law

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

I decided a few days ago when I was feeling better than I do today that 'depression and anxiety have opposites ~ love and hope. I am not giving up this fight to move forward with my life, I have love and I have hope and they have EQUAL POWER. I must remember the strength that lies within.'

I'm glad I wrote that down for myself, today is terrible and I needed a pep talk from the real Carrie. Also I have read all the comments left by you, my most loyal and supportive of readers and I thank you once more.

***

So, today I feel crap but I have my blankets, my little portable radiator by my side and the sound of the rain pelting down on the Velux windows. I've decided I like these windows, this is the first house I have lived in were there are any. I love to lie here on our Ikea sofa (bargin!!) and watch the clouds go by. Though today there is just one massive cloud over N Ireland so the view is, well, white.

Tonight there is another committee meeting. I am loathed to even think about it but as Andrew is going and the minutes of the last meeting arrived yesterday and the allotment forum page is up on this laptop all the time (Andrew not me) I am finding it hard to ignore. They always seem to descend into arguments and take much longer than the alloted 2 hours. But one good thing is wine is always brought home after ~ to calm Andrew's nerves and just tickle my taste buds while I listen to the whole saga.

Oh, there is unhappiness at the plots and it isn't just about the weather. I have mentioned it before but there is an Exordinary General Meeting proposed, some people are just so fed up. I for one am staying out of it, politics in N Ireland drives me up the walls anyway, I have an allotment to get away from such crap. The forums (though I try very hard not to listen to Andrew) are full of people letting off steam and others trying to clam them down and remind them WE HAVE ALLOTMENTS and that is a good thing; it's all that matters. If we rough up the waters too much with our council we may be seen as an nuisance and god knows what would happen then. I, like many other people down there, NEED my plots. I don't just want it, it is therapy and....oh bother I'm getting annoyed again. (Go to your happy place Carrie...)

***

More importantly we bought our seed potatoes yesterday. Damned if I can remember the variety, hold on til I ring Andrew......  Pentland Javlin (1st earlies) and  British Queens (2nd earlies). We aren't doing my favourite Maris Piper this year because we always seem to get horrendous blight on our main crops. Fingers crossed these do well, once we finally get to our plot to plant them and more importantly, fingers crossed they taste yummy and mash well!

x

Intricate beauty of a flower (1) ~ Persian Buttercup

The Ranunculus is by far and away my favourite flower of the moment. I just adore their abundance of tighty packed petals and the white verision is the best ever. My Hubby bought me a beautiful bunch on Saturday when I was really very ill and I thought I would share them with you. Sort of a 'Wordless Wednesday', only it's Monday and I do like to ramble on a bit. So....a Bloomin' Monday instead.

My thanks to all the lovely people who have been sending messages to help me get through this awkward and stressful time, your words have not fallen on deaf ears and if I may be so bold... I love you xx

It sounds silly but I am still having trouble reading, poor concentration, bad double vision and the shakes. My mind feels like it's on the drain/spin cycle of the washing machine. It's taken me all day to write this one tiny bloggette. So, sorry I haven't been visiting my blogging friends, fingers crossed things will get better soon.