Okay, the truth

I hope I have made it really clear that I try to do my gardening as a form of therapy (which I call allotmentherapy and my Dr's have started calling it that too; next stop the Oxford English Dictionary! hehehe); it's a way in which to connect with nature and overcome my depression and anxiety even for a little while. However it is not a panacea! and hasn't been working for me at all recently.

That's why on this blog, you don't get an awful lot of super useful advice about when and how to do this or that, and what varieties of fruit or vegetables are the best (I think that would be very impertinent of me anyway, as you're soil and climate conditions would be different to mine). The joy is finding out what works for you and sharing our trials and tribulations and indeed our successes!

Well the last time I wrote I indicated that I was having problems and since then those problems have gotten worse. Our allotment gardens are so neglected, so huge, wind swept and honestly, just depressing. That is, they are to me and have been for a few good weeks or, let's be truly honest here...months. I haven't even been reading other blogs on gardening never mind thinking about this one for which I have so much love. Andrew has been the one going and trying to stay on top of harvest gluts and bolting veg whilst also trying to guide me through this deeper period of depression. Poor guy.

So today I went. It was damp and empty and we just about got some jobs done before the sky starting crying (lol). Harvesting, composting the sweetcorn, now finished, and a general tidy up. I think that hour was enough for me and I could not cope being on 14b, the sooner we move things out of there and just train our focus on one half plot, the better.

Super quick update
Our kidney bean shaped bench had been stolen :( But the Green Beans are still going strong (I'll talk about them in another post), the parsnips look really healthy, the amount of squashes is smashing, we are getting blueberries (praise be to Zeus, finally) and raspberries and our apples, plums and pears are all....weird (like secret underground layer genetic experiment kind of weird!) Everything else is just ticking along super-ly apart from some of the chard which is bolting but c'est la vie....

I really need to take many more photos but, I guess it will take time...

I've been through these periods many times before and I bounce back so I hope you will stay around and maybe even say hello. A huge thank you to those of you who have sent private emails too! I have been waiting for the right things to say but as each day goes by and I still don't feel quite myself, I fear I have become rude...

Namaste friends and may you be having a better time than me and fond memories of the summer just passed.

Un-Seasonal Weather Affected Disorder

I have come to the horrifying realisation that I have a new illness which I have called USWAD or Un-Seasonal Weather Affected Disorder. Hence my lack of blogging recently; there is only so much rain and chilly days during what is meant to be Summer that a girl can take. My body thinks it's winter and I've been doing a lot of hibernating style activity (or non-activity as the case may be).

I have struggled on valiantly when that yellow orb does decide to appear and stuff has been happening at the lotties and indeed, in the back garden too. I just haven't bothered writing about it, for which I am truly sorry - I know you must all be so hungry for your Grow Our Own news ;) Before I tell you any more I would like to say a hearty Thank You for all the comments on the last post; it makes blogging so much more fun when I have interaction with my most gorgeous and intelligent readers.

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The allotments are still a mess and it is still depressing but as to your great ideas about resolving (or trying to resolve) the issue I must report with a heavy soul that it just isn't going to happen. We don't even have the collective ability to make a committee work, it was tried for 2 years and it failed. Monumentally failed. Embarrassing isn't it?! So we can't go to the council as a body and ask for the things we pay for to be done, we can't complain unless we all do it individually and to be honest, what councillor could possibly be bothered listening to so many moaners when they have proper work to do. Our Allotment Officer is over all the parks, countryside and the cemeteries. Bickering about so and so who has paid for their plot but isn't using it, it really the last of their worries.

But anyway, it's good to vent sometimes and I have a blog so... Thank you for listening.

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Last weekend we had a new family member born - eek! So we didn't get to the plots and instead I was fawning over my tiny little niece and getting all soppy. But the weekend before we worked HARD, really hard and it was brilliant. So permit me to share, possibly in a couple of posts as I don't want to bore the pants off you and you probably have Olympics to watch anyway ;)

Plot 24a
So I'll start with this plot and first just say YIPPPEEE! As we lifted the Garlic and they are fabulous. Eeek! Look, they were just getting rusty all over and we'd been eating some green and loving it so we knew they were ready.

Just drying them now in the shed - didn't bother with fancy plaits this year as in previous ones as we had so much other work to do.

Looky at the lettuces! We are inundated and have been eating so much too; there's not much more rewarding than walking past those sweaty bags of pre-washed ready to go bags of salad (which cost a fortune!) and instead eating freshly picked leaves which are or better quality and varieties that actually taste of something! Ummm, I do love my peppery leaves.

The Summer Raspberries are just going nuts as usual. I reckon we get about a 10% of the crop every year, hahaha, all those birds just get in there before us and fair play to them, we're just too slow. As part of a huge shake up in the lottie layout to come, these will be getting moved over to 14b so we have better access to them and they can romp away as they so wish.

Heartbreak alert! ~ After losing every cherry on the tree again (3rd year running) we lost about half of our 1st ever Victoria Plums. I think, I hope this is just the plant doing a 'drop' so it can concentrate on making the rest of the survivors succulent and delicious. You know, just like the 'June Drop' in Apples.

I'll leave it there you know, I have a lot of boasting to do and I would like to sit down and fully enjoy every moment of it - right now I am in a good bit of pain having fallen hard, flat on my face on Saturday in the town centre. I now have a very beautiful bashed up knee, toe and a sore everything all down my left hand side, sitting still for any length of time hurts.

But guys, I'm back and I shall be writing more often, that really was an unforgivable break in proceedings xxxx

On wild flowers

I've had a migraine today all day and boy does it hurt. However lying in the dark with an eye mask can only be endured for so long and thus as it is twilighting outside and the blinds and curtains are closed, the lights not switched on and my laptop screen darkened I feel I must write something or explode. The latter would be very messy and hard for the police to explain, devastating for Andrew and just too tempting for Maggie to eat (boke!), so here I am teeth gritted, plodding onwards.

Lying here today I was thinking about roundabouts and public space gardening to keep myself sane(ish) so here I shall share....

French roundabouts make me happy. That sounds very sad but it is true. The vast majority are simply beautiful, and what is so great about it is the fun and community spirit that goes into it.Many of them have art done my school kids in them or really huge fun sculptures from wood. I only have a couple of photos here - one of wild flowers which are everywhere along the sides of the roads and intersections (fabulous idea!) and one of beautiful grasses etc but there were so many more (it's just a little hard to take photos out the window of the car whilst going round the roundabout and trying to be a good navigator). Some of them even had bee hives in them - bee hives! Genius.

I adore wild flowers and did do some guerrilla gardening last year when we moved into this new house. I quickly had an accomplice on line who was doing the same thing in a different country :) I was Ms W, she Ms J and she knows who she is *wink wink*. She even helped me when I ran out of seeds! But sadly and this is really very sad indeed... the area I chose to scatter my hopes of happiness also turned out to be the area which the water and gas people dug up (more than once) and thus not one of my seeds came to anything. I have more though for this year coming! I just thought whilst laying here, that it would be such a joy to guerrilla garden roadsides and make them stunning little points of beauty for people's long travels ummmm, these photos have cemented that idea.

I have only seen 3 bees this past summer, a good few wasps and about 5 ladybirds (Andrew saw his first of the year yesterday!) and 2 varieties of butterfly, one of which was the cabbage white (ggrrr, no broccoli for us this year). I think local indigenous wild flowers - planted on that bit of ugly waste land you have near your house, could well be a good idea, not just for the beauty and pleasure but also for the insects. eh? Enough with the sculptures and loads of money spent on silly bedding plants by our councils - wild is the future! Just a though from an addled and pain filled brain....
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I'm back :)

Hello! and warm affectionate hugs to you all. Did you miss me? did you? I missed you.

I arrived home from lovely France yesterday and sitting here in front of my much missed laptop I can tell you...I am cold!! It wasn't exactly roasting in Brittany but I was shivering whilst inside, that's for sure; I don't think I was supposed to be a Northern Irish girl at all, ahha.

As I am sure you can all appreicate, I am exhausted! 16 hours on a Ferry (rough crossing home - I was sliding up and down my berth which was funny but meant I was awake a good bit) and 4 and half hours driving up through Ireland home = sleepy me. And on top of that, when I'm sleepy, my double vision plays up even more so I can't really see that well today. What I am getting at is I will share my photos and stories later if you don't mind too much and just dose here on my comfy sofa this afternoon before any migraine would decide to set in!

One thing though - I now utterly despise Mosquitos, bloody HATE the beasts. I have a left forearm that is all deformed with huge bites that are so frickin' itchy I could punch something. Plus one on my leg and one on my face, on my face people!!! Arrghhhh.

Anyhow I shall be in touch soon, with photos and tales of yummy food, inspiring gardens and public spaces and scrumping for delicious red apples. Plus this evening we are going to the lottie and I have been warning that it is a mess - I ain't too proud that I won't share the shame, hahahaa.

Anyway, nice to be back xx

Love amongst the brassicas

Well I made it, I was at my lottie on Saturday. She had waited for me and she needed me just as I needed her. I felt better for the knowledge that I was going to help her back into order, cutting the grass, weeding around our precious food and basking in the glorious bird song and vibrant shades of green. It had been raining, hard, but we went as soon as it stopped and staid until a huge new rain cloud arrived. It was nice.

My illnesses have been putting a stress on home life; I am glad to say that both Andrew and I are human and therefore susceptible to the odd argument and feelings of distance. But Saturday morning greeted us both with a stronger energy and a dual desire to be happier - it's good for your health. ;) We wanted this past weekend to be all about spending time together and riding with the ups and downs with a little more grace.

Soppy I know, but I don't care. We have been having a rough time, me with the deep low in my depression and a blasted infection and him with work stresses and trying to care for me at the same time. Both our heads have been in melt down and the weather has done us no favours. Honestly I am really sorry to hear that so many people are experiencing drought but I guess the opposite - dark days and rain all the time over last week is just as depressing.

Anyway that's it, just a short post and here my lovelies - the lottie sends her love to you too in thanks for being so kind and supportive xxx

Reclaiming my Bloomin' Monday!

Well gosh darn it if the mind monster in my head didn't just steal another day from me. I am here (not at full power but getting there) to get it back! I am aware that it is Tuesday but this is my blog and here I make the rules. So today is Monday - I shall have my Monday with a side of 'happy', thank you very much Mr Monster.

As per usual I have a very beautiful bloom to share with you (which ironically may not have been this open and this gorgeous yesterday...). This little darling and her friends were found outside in a pot in Mamma G's garden. Just smiling away at the world and easily overlooked; with a bin in front of them poor dears.

Also whilst outside I was able to see the sun room window sill (it's so full in there with all Andrew and my sofas and furniture etc, that it is for the present, un-useable. Andrew, with his long legs and arms can reach all the way to this window from the inside (amazing what the body can do in extreme situations) and has these Spuds chitting away merrily. Of course they won't be planted until St Patrick's Day (as is tradition). Beside them in a very condensation filled covered tray I think there are Celeraic and happy news from the lottie yesterday ~ tiny specks of green in the Leek seed trays!! Yippeeeeee.

Andrew also planted some Tomato seeds, they're on a window sill too, I think it's the kitchen, can't think where else they could be.

Still have lots to tell about the lottie at the weekend. But for now a very big THANK YOU to everyone who wrote a comment yesterday. Reading them late last night honestly gave me a lot of hope and strength. I truly have the nicest followers in the world. I will get around to personal replies but forgive me, migraines are haunting me after yesterday and I can't stay on the computer long. Big HUGS xx

Newton's 3rd law

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

I decided a few days ago when I was feeling better than I do today that 'depression and anxiety have opposites ~ love and hope. I am not giving up this fight to move forward with my life, I have love and I have hope and they have EQUAL POWER. I must remember the strength that lies within.'

I'm glad I wrote that down for myself, today is terrible and I needed a pep talk from the real Carrie. Also I have read all the comments left by you, my most loyal and supportive of readers and I thank you once more.

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So, today I feel crap but I have my blankets, my little portable radiator by my side and the sound of the rain pelting down on the Velux windows. I've decided I like these windows, this is the first house I have lived in were there are any. I love to lie here on our Ikea sofa (bargin!!) and watch the clouds go by. Though today there is just one massive cloud over N Ireland so the view is, well, white.

Tonight there is another committee meeting. I am loathed to even think about it but as Andrew is going and the minutes of the last meeting arrived yesterday and the allotment forum page is up on this laptop all the time (Andrew not me) I am finding it hard to ignore. They always seem to descend into arguments and take much longer than the alloted 2 hours. But one good thing is wine is always brought home after ~ to calm Andrew's nerves and just tickle my taste buds while I listen to the whole saga.

Oh, there is unhappiness at the plots and it isn't just about the weather. I have mentioned it before but there is an Exordinary General Meeting proposed, some people are just so fed up. I for one am staying out of it, politics in N Ireland drives me up the walls anyway, I have an allotment to get away from such crap. The forums (though I try very hard not to listen to Andrew) are full of people letting off steam and others trying to clam them down and remind them WE HAVE ALLOTMENTS and that is a good thing; it's all that matters. If we rough up the waters too much with our council we may be seen as an nuisance and god knows what would happen then. I, like many other people down there, NEED my plots. I don't just want it, it is therapy and....oh bother I'm getting annoyed again. (Go to your happy place Carrie...)

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More importantly we bought our seed potatoes yesterday. Damned if I can remember the variety, hold on til I ring Andrew......  Pentland Javlin (1st earlies) and  British Queens (2nd earlies). We aren't doing my favourite Maris Piper this year because we always seem to get horrendous blight on our main crops. Fingers crossed these do well, once we finally get to our plot to plant them and more importantly, fingers crossed they taste yummy and mash well!

x

Leaving Comments hopefully just got easier

The lovely Soilman has e-mailed me and told me that it can be hard for people to leave comments on this blog if they aren't tied in to one provider or another. I was thankful for this wee bit of info and have tried to change my comments settings. Now your message won't appear straight way but will go to moderation (so I can filter out any dirty talk ~ naughty) where I'll see them first and 'accept'/ post them.

I'll give this a go anyway, see if it works. I love comments; to think there are people out there who can't leave any is very sad :(

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Plus, just found out I've missed the photo contest held by Gardening gone Wild. The theme was THE END OF THE LINE, so here's something I might have considered out of the few photos I've taken recently. Not that great and certainly not a winner but I wanted to feel a part of it. Just have to wait until spring to really try something good...

Right, enough whinging

Okay, so I have had a terrible time of it but I have to share the good with the bad. I am glad to say that I am feeling stronger and even managed a walk with the dog and a photographic trip out into the back garden yesterday by myself. I just needed rest, lots of it and I still need more but I can cope better today and therefore here I am with all the love and thanks in the world to those who encouraged me and supported me through yet another blip.

Here are a few of those photos from yesterday, it was sunny for a while!!....



Insects; fascinating up close.

I have concentrated on the photography side of things and opened my own on line shop of pics from holidays, but mainly from the allotments and of nature in general. I only opened it yesterday and already sold one photo! We did visit the lottie last night but to be honest I have been neglecting it and found it to be overwhelming - too much to do! Plus I made the mistake of dandering over to Bobby's plot (which is eerily perfect in every way) and made myself ill with jealousy. My strength suddenly was zapped from me and we went home! What an effect the 'competition' can have on you, so silly.

Plus our new road is so far looking far from promising. I hope major improvements are afoot as the new hardcore that's been put down is already potholed and terribly thin (to my, albeit, untrained eyes), as a surface for delivery lorries and the odd car to drive down, never mind a person to walk down safely. Arrrgghhhh! I hate it when things aren't done right. I must give them the benefit of the doubt and just hope it gets good.

So, as I said, I still need a heck of a lot of rest so I'll leave it here for today.

I just want to thank those who cared, worried and wrote messages, it honestly helped; when I am so low I can't see a way out and you helped me fight on xx

Ciao!

My dearest, darling, lovely friends. I have returned from my travels in Italy. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for reading the old blog whilst I was gone and for the comments (which Andrew delighted me with by looking up my blog on the Internet on his mobile whilst on holiday). Didn't have the greatest time, NOT relaxing to visit Rome and Milan in a few days and try to see lots. Home to another one of my 'blips', so can barely string 2 words together and just need deep, deep sleep and cuddles (though the hubby is back at work so have to hug myself ~ not so comforting...)

I shall update you soon; show some holiday snaps, show you the growth in 24a while we were away and the new work on 14b that Andrew has already achieved. Plus answer any comments you lovingly left for me.

Big double cheek kisses and Ciao for now xx

A great website find

Still feeling terrible but I have to say a massive thank you to Michelle, allotofveg and Maureen for their very kind words of encouragement and support on yesterday's comments section. It was so appreciated, I can't tell you. Big hugs to you all.

Last night Andrew found a very absorbing website ~
http://www.rhs.org.uk/growyourown/index.asp
all about growing your own fruit and veg and as it's RHS, you know you can trust it like an online Allotmeentering Bible. He was on it for quite some time, as we are looking into more fruit trees and a new year of veg growing in general. So maybe you'd like it too.

Drawing up those plans of the Lottie when I have little bursts of energy, so they'll be up, hopefully, tomorrow.

Thanks again for the support, I need all I can get a the mo.

The crushing nature of depression

My dear GOOF'S (Grow Our Own Followers) I must apologise for my lack of blogging prowess... I am truly being suffocated by depression these days and have no oomph at all. I did desperately try to upload my video of the lottie yesterday but it just wouldn't work - Sorry, I'm sure you're upset, hehe.

Here is the lovely produce we collected on Saturday past though

More Pak Choi, the last of the turnips, a leek, 2 parsnips and loads of Beet Spinach. Apart from the Pak Choi, which we had in a stir fry on Sunday - the 2nd Picture shows a totally lottie dinner from Saturday night, with the now complusory HP sauce dollop in the center. YUM.

We also had a raspbery each - Okay, not a big harvest from this plant this year but I have hope and the 10 or so we did get were excellent.

Thanks!

You know I just have to say thank you to whose people who have encouraged and supported me in my blogging. I have to go get lunch now when I ought to be writing today's blog, but I received some lovely e-mails this morning from followers of Grow Our Own and I had to reply and look at the wonderful sites they had recommended for me. You guys know who you are and I thank you for getting in touch.

You know I've been feeling pretty bad recently and very isolated. This contact with the big wide world is the best thing I've ever done.

I'll be back later!