Small victories

Victory No. 1 
My computer is fixed and I didn't totally freak out when it decided to pack up in the first place!

Victory No. 2
The gauntlet was thrown down on Monday to my anxiety and I planted up some pots for the back garden. Yes, after a good year of not planting anything due to an irrational fear that I'd do it wrong and kill anything I'd touch - I have overcome. (Need more to fill it up nut all in good time.)

Soil under my fingernails, terracotta pots emptied out, cleaned and reused. I have been feeling rather like a green-fingered gardener - let's hope they survive or my pride will take a darn good beating! haha. The tiny thing on the bottom shelf is some mint I am trying to grow - we'll see...

We have :

Sanvitalia 'cuzco' yellow 

Bacopa 'snowflake'

Osteospermum 'special fire'

Osteospermum 'pink'

Wee bit of mint

Allotment news from the weekend and hurrrip, more small victories :) 

Victory No. 3 
The first harvest! Spuds ahoy my friends; come on over to our house and have a nibble, haha!

Ok, as these photos prove, we were a little too excited to see how the potatoes were doing and harvested these ones a wee bit too early. But there were lots of a good size and I like them small, plus sometimes you just need some instant gratification.

You can see on the top right photo that some were fingernail size, haha. But we were happy and I could easily put up that harvest photo up on my desk 😀. The used potting compost was placed as a nice wee mulch around the growing dwarf french beans.

Victory No. 4

As soon as we arrived at the plot I scared off a bird that was sneaking in amongst the gooseberries. Ggrrr, as much as love birds, that food is mine and I've already had a battle with the sawfly larvae! So it was time to deploy the netting and now the blueberries and gooseberries are much safer. Of course the blighters have been known to get in away but hey, we've done something.

The gooseberries are so close to being ready but the blueberries are teasing me and have stayed this shade of glaucous blue for weeks now - I want to eat them! I'm going to get new recipes for both berries, any that work really well, I'll share x

The garlic looks ready to lift too - it's all starting to happen.

Victory No. 5

I just wanted to show you how happy the sweetcorn and squashes are. It'll be a long time until we eat any produce from these plants but it's a joy to see them looking good.

Lastly, Victory No. 6 is my hay-fever medication is working! Thank goodness for it as look what we are surrounded by - a couple of weeks ago I could have ripped my nose off and eyes out but now I am feeling almost invincible in the face of grass pollen!

More soon - I didn't even show the right hand side of the plot this time. Stories and even a hand-drawn plan of the site to come.

Love
Carrie

Wabi-Sabi

**********

Life, I just don't 'get' it, why is it so hard, so painful, so full of angst and disappointment? There's something in me that constantly wants it to change; the struggles are too great (and as my personal troubles are in my brain, no one can truly free me from that consistent fight), and the beauty, hard to find. I need a break, I think we all do.

The allotment called to me last Saturday and I answered; longing to find answers, peace, anywhere I may find it. Andrew and Maggie were happy to have me around and I took things slow, even stopping for tea and a snack along the way.

24a - left side and right :)

wild flowers from the hedgerow and time for a break

I couldn't help but tackle some of the worst areas. Yes, you know where....14b. I spent an hour clearing big weeds, some taller than me and many stronger too. It did feel good to make a difference and now the little squashes are going to get more light and room and nutrients. They best taste good!

before and after - squash patch 14b

Sad thing is I know that the next time I go back there is much more of this battle with nature to come. It just keeps coming, I just keep ultimately losing. Oh and of course there's the anxiety and depression to continue fighting whilst I'm there. It feels like I live life as though I'm walking on paper thin tissue paper; always the fear of the fall through and the fall out.

Good things did happen. Andrew pruned the gooseberry patch and the Echlinville apples were finally tided up; the espaliered nature of them is so pleasing to the eye. I know for certain that I felt good being useful for a while. And there was no one else there, just lots of birds, some sweetly singing, many squawking.

Consulting the Dr. and getting the espaliers done right!

I got to harvest the first of our blueberries, and red gooseberries, ha! - All for us and not one for those pesky pilfering, no good birds. Years, it's been years since we had any but the fruit cage has worked wonders and it's almost too much, haha.
Anxiety did take over, naturally. Strong feelings of paranoia and of just shear embarrassment at being me and outside of the house. That saw me going home but Andrew soldiered on :)

**************

I don't know where I am in this world, a seed poorly nurtured, grown up deficient in what it needed and now, an imperfect plant with so many problems that if you had me in your garden or plot, you'd have no hesitation in ripping me out.
Thank goodness Andrew sees through that, maybe he loves the challenge of growing and helping me, maybe he sees beauty in the ugly. I'm just so thankful for him (and the delicious harvests). xx

Yours
Carrie x

One small step at a time

I went to the allotment. Maggie came too and we stayed an hour and took some photos, weeded a good wee bit for all the time we were there and came home before I was panicky, tired, overwhelmed or indeed had to engage with anyone. It was a success :)

She looks miserable but she wasn't really

Boy has the season turned. Maybe it's due to my not being there so often but I really saw a difference in the air, in the texture of the soil;  the summer was gone and a sleepy Autumn has come to claim her time. This is the best time of the year to truly start becoming aware that we humans push ourselves a little too hard. I feel that Mother Nature is asking me to slow down a bit, to reflect and the cuddle up; she even turns the lights out earlier, lol. I'm not into the stodgy foods, gloves and hat, or the steamed up glasses phase yet but we did need that extra jacket and though it didn't stay on whilst I dug, that light scarf was a must have - there is at least a chill though not a nip in the air.

How it stands as of now - plus my wee bit of weeding

The sneaky  Sharp's Express spuds I found whilst digging over that strip - yum

It's time to begin thinking about what we will grow where next year, what crops did well in our conditions this year and to tend to the paths, the storage, the rubbish, the soil, the compost... We now have our last crops in and they look amazing, I tell what we have next post; in no way is the growing year over!

YES!! The paths are bark mulched :) 

The leaves are just about turning here in dreary Carrick, on one or two parsnips I could see browning leaves, on the blueberries, wow, there was red; in the garden now we are getting to witness our Virginia Creeper go purple. It's still mild enough for the geraniums, dahlias and roses and the colour they bring is a welcome distriction from the grey clouds. The beans (of all types) are gone now and the squashes are cut and sitting out on the back window sill. I can see the most perfect 'Turks Turban' from right here on the red sofa, too big for the sill, it sits alone on the wall.  Really must get some photos of them before we eat them all - oh they are so good! 'Uchiki Kuri' was the one we grew most of and I simply love them, the batch we have left won't last long :)

some colour left on the plots

Namaste friends,

Okay, the truth

I hope I have made it really clear that I try to do my gardening as a form of therapy (which I call allotmentherapy and my Dr's have started calling it that too; next stop the Oxford English Dictionary! hehehe); it's a way in which to connect with nature and overcome my depression and anxiety even for a little while. However it is not a panacea! and hasn't been working for me at all recently.

That's why on this blog, you don't get an awful lot of super useful advice about when and how to do this or that, and what varieties of fruit or vegetables are the best (I think that would be very impertinent of me anyway, as you're soil and climate conditions would be different to mine). The joy is finding out what works for you and sharing our trials and tribulations and indeed our successes!

Well the last time I wrote I indicated that I was having problems and since then those problems have gotten worse. Our allotment gardens are so neglected, so huge, wind swept and honestly, just depressing. That is, they are to me and have been for a few good weeks or, let's be truly honest here...months. I haven't even been reading other blogs on gardening never mind thinking about this one for which I have so much love. Andrew has been the one going and trying to stay on top of harvest gluts and bolting veg whilst also trying to guide me through this deeper period of depression. Poor guy.

So today I went. It was damp and empty and we just about got some jobs done before the sky starting crying (lol). Harvesting, composting the sweetcorn, now finished, and a general tidy up. I think that hour was enough for me and I could not cope being on 14b, the sooner we move things out of there and just train our focus on one half plot, the better.

Super quick update
Our kidney bean shaped bench had been stolen :( But the Green Beans are still going strong (I'll talk about them in another post), the parsnips look really healthy, the amount of squashes is smashing, we are getting blueberries (praise be to Zeus, finally) and raspberries and our apples, plums and pears are all....weird (like secret underground layer genetic experiment kind of weird!) Everything else is just ticking along super-ly apart from some of the chard which is bolting but c'est la vie....

I really need to take many more photos but, I guess it will take time...

I've been through these periods many times before and I bounce back so I hope you will stay around and maybe even say hello. A huge thank you to those of you who have sent private emails too! I have been waiting for the right things to say but as each day goes by and I still don't feel quite myself, I fear I have become rude...

Namaste friends and may you be having a better time than me and fond memories of the summer just passed.

Pumpkin vs Squash

The issue of Squashes and Pumpkins and which is what causes problems in the otherwise heavenly, perfect marriage of the Gaults. I get it wrong all the time and Andrew is, quite frankly, fed up and worse than that - he is now confused. As we all know Andrew does know his stuff, I am the mere student, so when I annoy him so much that he gets confuddled you know it's bad!

So in an attempt to recreate the harmony in the household I have looked up a few references to discover what the big mystery is..........

What I am so happy to tell you, is I am not alone!! The two are constantly being confused (yay!) due to the fact that 'the two terms have no exact botanical defination' (1). Happy me. Both they and the Gourd are members of the 'Cucurbita' family, the tricky bit comes from the existence of subgroups called pepo, maxima and moschata and differences in the stems.

Cucurbita Pepo
This my friends is the true Halloween scary Pumpkin. A real 'true' Pumpkin. They have hard orange skin that's great for carving and woody deeply ribbed stems. Confusingly this subgroup also includes some marrows, squashes, gourds and courgettes but lets not complicate things.

Cucurbita Maxima
This species 'also contains varieties that produce pumpkin-like fruit but the skin is usually more yellow than orange and the stems are soft and spongy or corky, without ridges and without an enlargement next to the fruit'. Hahaa - I maybe going mad but there are also known varieties in this group that are listed as Pumpkins but aren't really.

Cucurbita Moschata
Now thankfully these ones are easier to identify as they are generally speaking, oblong in shape and less orangy, more tan coloured, think Butternut Squash. 'The stems are deeply ridged and enlarged next to the fruit' in this case. But can you believe it - in your cans of  'Pumpkin' you will be shocked and feel cheated to learn that you are actually buying a 'moschata'. Oh for shame!!!
(Though if you are buying canned Pumpkin then I think you deserve a lie - grow your own!)

This is cute ~ 'Generally speaking a pumpkin is something you carve, a squash is something you cook and a gourd is something you look at'.

*Most of this info and quotes have come from a fabulous website called Aggie Horticulture - thank you
*The first quote comes from Vegetable Expert

Hugs - I'm off to look at Pinterest for interesting Pumpkin carvings - you can check out what I find here

my happy-go-lucky Saturday

It's not often I have a happy post that is all joy and merriment. So allow me please, the pleasure of basking in it's glory. Also, if you wish to feel jealous at any point, feel free (really, I hardly ever have a GOOD day), I don't mind at all ;)

Saturday was a good day (I have already mentioned this I know but it's so fab to write it), let me take you through it.....

First we saw around our new house! Ahhhh, we had  to wear hard hats but the fashion faux pas was worth it. We have walls and windows and a roof and some wooden struts pretending to be internal walls and pipes of all sizes, oh and a front door and patio doors out back... etc. It's also completely rendered on the outside and by now it should have it's staircase in. Oh joy of joys. The 'gardens' front and back are a little less inspiring and a bit on the teeny tiny side - BUT still big grins all round.

Then we had a trip to good old Maud's cafe (they do the most fantabulous ice cream ever, in the world, ever - though I don't like ice cream at all) for coffee and homemade scones - yummy. The cafe looks out over the Lough and it was heaven sitting there watching people go by and seeing the water sparkle and shimmer in the sun :)

A quick trip to Tesco (not really a highlight) for some BBQ provisions including Dandelion and Burdock fizzy pop (WOW, how come we never tasted this before??), and off to the Lottie.

It was spring clean weekend at the lotties and we managed to get rid of a lot of rubbish. It's amazing what you gather up over the months that have no value at all to anyone; yet there it sits. So that was great. I took photos galore (you can see a couple on my other blog) once the suncream had settled into my skin and let Andy do the stinky rubbish work, 3 barrow loads of it. Then we put a brushwood cover over our porch so as we had a shady place to retire to throughout the day (remember Andy is ginger - the sun is his enemy - like he were a vampire, haha) and had a drink.

The afternoon pasted with lots of weeding and photographing and chatting and playing with Maggie. It was the most lovely of days, the sky so full of big lumps of blue and as far as the eye could see, there was not a dark cloud to be found. I swear plants were visably growing in front of our eyes and (though ulitmately annoying when their babies eat try to eat my food) cabbage whites were fliting all over the place and the birds were singing so hard and beautifully it was as though Mr Lloyd-Webber were there and they might be 'discovered'. I also got to watch the bluebirds feeding their babies on our shed, due to the shadows cast on the ground.

I cleared the pumpkin patch of poppy seedlings (a whole bucket full, oops) and Andrew placed his dad's old stepladder in the middle for the squashes to grow up - should look cute. (He planted them later when I went home). Everything else around the plots was looking much happier, perkier and greener in this lovely heat and anyone who went by was smiling.

We invited Mamma G down for our little BBQ, which was lovely, sausages with red pepper in them and of course the freshest salad ever, straight from the beds. Then I went home to have a lie down, expecting to go to the party down at the plots later....I woke up the next morning instead, haha. Boy I could sleep for the UK in the Olympics ;) So I missed that, but I heard it was good craic and went on until the wee hours.

So there was a lovely day, a truly fab day. I don't get them often but what a blessing when they do visit me! Spread to love xxxx