Monday, 28 April 2014

Allotment Undergardener

Are you aware that I don't really know much about allotmenteering? I understand the principles and even some technical stuff but I don't use my knowledge ~ I'm too scared to even plant my own seeds or pot on a healthy plant. I always, and I mean always feel I'll do something wrong, it won't be perfect, I'll fail. And conversely...I might be good at it and then, like so much in my life, I'll lose the skill or the confidence and all will be darkness in my soul.

A few gardening books - 'growourown.blogspot.com' ~An allotment blog
Just a little selection of our gardening books
Not in a nasty way, Andrew said to me, as I was trying to take 'before' photos, that I may well be a blogger but he was a gardener and I was simply getting in his way. It made me think. I'm not a gardener, I've never thought of myself as one, I'm an under gardener and that's ok; it's how I like it.

Under gardener of the year - 'growourown.blogspot.com' ~An allotment blog
I have too much time on my hands!
I like to weed, in fact I love to weed and tidy. I thoroughly enjoy harvesting, even the gooseberries (when I end up looking like I have been in a fight with a crazed flock of sharp taloned birds and my arms are all scratched and bleeding) or even picking all the blackberries and looking like I have just committed mass murder myself... Ah let people think want they want....It's the quiet ones you have to watch....

Weirdly, I also like to be told what to do; what's happening with this section of the plot and what I can do to help. Basically Andrew is the Allotmenteer- I'm there to take photos, do manual labour and then write about it so we can see and fully appreciate what we have been able to do, working with nature.

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Well that's not entirely true. The allotment is therapy for me and just like physical therapy, it is bloody hard work and takes a lot of drive and courage. I do feel good clearing a bed, getting it ready for the real gardening to get cracking; I feel good with the sun on my back and my hands in the soil; I love bird song (butterflies terrify me - go figure that one out!) and the sound of distant chat and laughter.

evil butterfly - 'growourown.blogspot.com' ~An allotment blog

But for me personally, there is the fear of having to socialise, of being asked advice or for help. I get myself so worked up at the very thought of having a panic attack there and embarrassing myself and Andrew that they inevitably happen. I cry a little every time I go and blame the wind in my eyes or my hay fever, often I want to hurt myself with the tools. Ecotherapy isn't easy! Yes, if no one else is there, I can sometimes really enjoy it and it feels right, so right, to be working with my hands, back to basics.

But either way - gardener or dog's body, panicky or not..
'In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt'
~ Margaret Wood
and we both have been :)
Love and hugs
Carrie

19 comments:

  1. Sorry to be contrary, but you're just as much of a gardener and allotmenteer as I am, and you have the dirty nails to prove it. I couldn't do it without you, so there ;-p xx

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    1. I love you hubby!! Xxx. :)

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    2. Awww, this is so cute! But the whole gardening gives us so much pleasure and experiences, that it has to lead to happiness!

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    3. it takes two (he's a keeper ;~)

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  2. Don't forget that to succeed you have to risk failing. My sister is just like you - can't be where there is a lot of people.

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  3. Ah but what you don't see is that you are a gardener. You are attached to those plants and you have a love for this. Not knowing the wording and jibber jabber doesn't make one a gardener.....it is the love! Happy day to you friend! Nicole xoxo

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    1. Nicole...you always have the perfect way of putting things and really cheering me up, hugs xxx

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  4. Sue angel. I remember us talking about your sister before, sorry to hear she still struggles. xx
    I like that motto, I do try to live by it by getting up each day for a start but maybe I need to try harder... x

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  5. Practice saying, "I don't know. Let's ask Andrew," to answer any and all questions. Put the spotlight on him and you can fade back into the background. If someone asks you for the name of a plant, they don't know either. Find someone (Andrew) who does. You don't have to know much if you know whom to ask.

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  6. Excellent advice Jean, thank you; its so simple xxx

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  7. Congrats on being "Employee of the month" C. lol :) I bet you are "Employee of the month" every month and reading what your Hubby wrote sounds to me like you are a wonderful team :)

    Hope you are doing well, cheers, T. :)

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    1. Hey, it was me that gave myself the award... So yep I guess I could do it every month, Andrew doesn't know how to work blogger ;)

      Hope all is good with you...so glad you stopped by. Must catch up on all my blog reading! Xx

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  8. sounds like my other half too ... hehe... and speaking about weeding..if you really like to do it, you can come and help me with it too :) hehe... stop by at me sometimes, im new here

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    1. Oh, cheeky... I love weeding MY plots ;) haha. I shall pop over and say hello!

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  9. Carrie, you're a star, head gardener or under gardener or just plain gardener. You've got an allotment and stuff grows for you, that's good enough for me.

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    1. Love you CJ....you're so kind xxx

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  10. I simply agree with what all the others have said! Happy gardening and blogging. Flighty xx

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    1. Thanks Flighty, I do get a heck of a lot of good stuff out of it..I think I shall continue! xxx

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  11. Too cute Carrie girl or should I say "Ms. Under-Gardener" .. could you step inside my office ? aka tool shed .. have a cuppa and some bickys ? LOL spelled that wrong I bet !
    I understand you just wanting to be on your own working quietly .. enjoying the peace and predictability of what should be done .. and ? I am afraid of moths .. go figure ! butterflies make me nervous but I love them for their beauty .. it is all very Freudian I am sure eh ? LOL
    Just enjoy those times that you truly enjoy .. savor them and keep them for those winter days and nights that are too long ;-)
    Joy

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