Wednesday, 24 March 2010

The Exorcist

Extract from 'The Exorcist' by William Peter Blatty

'The sun sinks to rise again; the day is swallowed up in the gloom of night, to be born out of it, as fresh as if it had never been quenched. Spring passes into summer, and through summer and autumn into winter, only the more surlely, by its own ultimate return, to triumph over that grave towards which it resolutely hastened from its first hour. We morn the blossoms of May because they are to wither; but we know that May is one day to have its revenge upon November, by the revolution of that solemn circle which never stops - which teaches us in our height of hope, ever to be sober, and in our depth of desolation, never to despair.'

This quote gets me through some tough times and boy am I going through them at the moment. I feel I am taking a tentative step forward and then staggering back 10 and landing on my arse. Yet, still I fight, still I get up with a new day and tickle Maggie, write my blog and work on my photographs and crafts (useless though it may be in grand scale of life). Everyday I fight, everyday I am that seedling struggling for the light, the forgotten plant in the corner that might just look after itself, the tatty one with the discoloured leaves that sometimes surprises you with a flush of shy, humble, petite flowers.

I want to be excited, I want the joy of Spring to enter into my life but it isn't happening as much as I will it. Look at this utterly adorable little face and what do you see??? I see the world mocking me, getting on with life as I stagnate.

Sorry to be a grump, but I need to write this out as well as ride it out. Tomorrow I shall speak of Andy and his little problem ;) that may cheer you up.... x


  1. Joy is said to be sent down from the sky and spread over places. We just have to pick them up and assemble. Some in the garden, some in the house and I don't know how much lying in our own hearts. ~ bangchik

  2. Writing things down is a good way of dealing with feelings. If it helps then don't worry about anyone else.

  3. Carrie, I have a little prayer that I found many years ago which I have always loved and read often and I want to share it with you, treasure it and read it and say it out loud when you are down.

    Heavenly Father, thank you for my life, for those who love me or have loved me, and thank you for the promise of today. In even my darkest moments, may I never forget the good moments, the times when you have encouraged me, revived me or saved me from my own foolishness or that of others, HELP me Lord to become a positive person, inspiring and encouraging rather than negative and dismissive.

    I hope it inspires you as much as it does me.
    M xxx

  4. Hey Carrie,

    I'm just catching up on here after our holiday in England - only four days before I'm back at work - eek! I don't feel ready!!

    sorry that you've had a rough time of it - and poor Maggie too; give her a very gentle cuddle from me (avoiding her tummy!) please - and a big teddy bear hug for yourself :)

    take care xxx

  5. Another quote for you: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher

    The enthusiasm for spring comes gradually, like spring itself. Patience, sweet Carrie. You're doing better than you realize. :)

  6. Thank you Bangchik, Green Lane Allotments and sweet Maureen xxx

    Rosie - you're abck to work soon - where does the time go?????

    Meredith - you seem to cut straight into my heart with your words. Thank you xxxx

  7. Hang on in there girl! I find that lots of daylight can help. Get those serotonin levels rising!

  8. Carrie - you're connecting in all sorts of worthwhile ways here. Thanks for sharing & trust me, your words are far from 'useless'! xx

  9. Matron - you are so right, I need the Vitamin D from the sunshine, but where is it?! I was born in the wrong country...

    Lyonbar - hugs and thank you xxx


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