A smack to the side of the head

A member of my extended family has committed suicide (she was a step-cousin). She was only 14. I didn't know her, we only met once. But I am numb non the less. My family has been in shock and I feel like I've been winded. I have (and probably will again) been in that darkest of places where death seems the only option, today I see it from the other side.