Carpe Diem (nothing to do with gardening)

I've been having some really bad bouts of depression for a few days in a row now. I haven't had the energy to change out of my PJ's or even think about washing my hair. The postman coming to the door terrifies me. Its just one of those periods; I'd rather live on the sofa under my blanket....

I did not know the actor Robin Williams, though I grew up with him on TV and  in movies. A few of my favourite films have him as a supporting character; funny, its his serious work I like ( The Dead Poets' Society, Insomnia and Good Will Hunting) I'm not fussed on his comedies. I always think funny people seem to have such depth and such resources of pain to tap into - making others feel happy gives you a sense of purpose.

Williams won an Oscar for Good Will Hunting, where in he plays a therapist better than any I've had. People laud the 'Boston Park Bench Scene' as the most powerful piece of his in the movie and yes, deservedly so. However, for me there is another scene which no matter how many times I've seen it, always makes me cry. I'm not a crier, but this, this has me ugly crying - heaving shoulders, runny nose, eyes so puffy....



Its simple but so effective -"its not your fault". It's something we all need to hear sometimes, and our lives are not notes contained in files either!.

So thank you 'oh Captain, my Captain'  for the phrase 'Carpe Diem' - I try to; for the ability to cry and to remember everything isn't my fault; and for the acknowledgement that beauty is important; the novels, the music, the poetry, love - that's what we live for, though sometimes we forget I guess....