Companionship

So here I sit alone for yet another day, with housework, books, Maggie and that constant feeling that I ought to be 'doing something worthwhile' with my life. I'm exhausted as I am every single day with all my medications, my double vision flaring up more often and a sense of deep sadness and anxiety that rarely leaves me now. All in all I feel both pathetic and incredibly frustrated almost to the point of anger at myself. It's all negative energy pulsating through me but at least it's energy none the less and things are getting done, albeit on a smaller scale than I would hope for.

BUT then again..

To my mind one of  our principle duties and privileges in life is to be there for others, bringing a smile, reassurance and love into their lives. I talk a lot about how I am nothing - I have no job, no degree, no children, but I do offer one thing....my heart.

*****

Heartbreak

This past weekend we didn't get anything done on the plots as we fostered a little pup from the pound. We had him for the weekend and into Monday morning and tentatively called him Otis. He was a chihuahua border collie mix (think about that one for a while, hehe) and was utterly adorable, full of love and trust and in need of a little help.

He hadn't been neutered yet, he had a wee problem with his bum but the thing that ruined it all was I was allergic to his hair. I was really heartbroken, his health problems could be sorted but I couldn't stop itching, parts of my face swole up and my eyes puffed up like soufflés and even my ear tubes hurt. There was no way we could keep him and he was returned to that concrete cage in the pound again.

I'm still feeling upset about it but Maggie is benefiting from my need to nurture and she has been groomed, tickled, chased, given biscuits and allowed off the lead nearby to truly bound around :) She is my bestest pal.

*****

Gardening

But you come here to hear about gardening and what not - it is an allotment blog after all. So to tie in with the theme of today I would love to talk about companion planting and learn what your experiences have been like.

I am planting my marigold seeds tonight and the peas and beans are going into the ground at the weekend. But in our experience with chives, marigolds and nasturtiums we have yet to see any noticeable improvement in having companion plants. Yes they certainly are worth trying and maybe we haven't done it on a big enough scale; they do big in a lot of pollinators which is always good and they look gorgeous. So obviously I recommend them whole heartedly - there are so many companion planting ideas here; I think we ought to try more...

But I have waffled on long enough...there's a small dog in need of tickles :D

Thank You so much for all the comments on 'The Glorification of Busy' Post - I will answer them all later xx

Namasté

Glorification of Busy

You know what? I'm tired.

We need to stop being so busy and yes even in our minds.

Stop congratulating ourselves and others on all we have got done with our day; with our life so far. Who are we trying to impress? What use is a life when you are too tired to see the beauty that lies all around you, what is the point in getting so worked up over everything when they are (most likely) merely 1st world problems?

I didn't get to sleep last night until after 2am, yet again. I just had to think about all the things I could make and be good at and maybe get pocket money from. I had to make a tiny bird, just to prove to myself it could be done and with my vision so blurry then of course it would be easier next time.... I'm mad. This morning I dragged myself up out of bed and after breakfast Maggie was groomed and bathed (she isn't in a good mood right now), I answered e-mails, had a shower, took arty photos with all the kit in play, tidied the kitchen, worked on my shop, read the news and WHO CARES!! Oh my goodness, none of it mattered and yet I sit here berating myself for not having a load of crafty things made, letters written, blog posts done, photos of the seedlings taken etc, etc...

One very important lesson has been learnt today - 'Busy' is overrated. 

I need me time, I need to finish my Sherlock Holmes book, I need sleep and I need chocolate. And I'm not even sorry for it. I'll write tomorrow about depression, ecotherapy and seedlings but right now, that part of me has left the building and that's okay.

I just needed to say that out loud (Maggie really isn't interested) xx

Namasté
Me x

Garlic and Potatoes

I come before you with HAPPY news, albeit a week old ~ the garlic and potatoes are in! This is a good bit later than usual due to the crap weather we've all been having but at least it's happened now, the plants will catch up and the rain and sun has been perfectly alternating these last days so more seedlings shall be planted this weekend :)

So, I am having to slow down on my blog posts due to my poor health but as I mentioned before I will be tweeting  more gardening stuff so do think about following me. Tonight is the first time since we did this work I am about to show you that I feel able to type and hopefully also make some sense! Depression is so evil, it comes on stronger for no reason and slap bang just when the Spring I have been longing for finally arrives. What is all that about?

Never mind I struggle on and I am kind of hoping you haven't even missed me due to your own sudden spring-y induced burst of gardening energy. 

 * Got those precious seeds on the windowsill/greenhouse/cold frame? :) 

 * Is the soil getting workable? 

 * Have you bought a new pair of gardening gloves for the new year? That's pretty important to me, hehe

So photos, photos I didn't think would be taken for a while there.....

The garlic

Turning the soil over thoroughly maybe wasn't the best idea - it seems to be so clay-y. Good grief so much effort goes into the preparations and sometimes you have to wonder was it worth it :( Still we have so many and we do love it, I hope they all survive and thrive. Three or 4 years ago these were 'Solent Wight' but I like to think of them as 'Gault Wight'.

all in a neat row

The Potatoes

We chose 'Red Duke of York' this year as a just for fun crop and bought them a pound shop, they looked just as good as any from a nursery! They are in the smaller tray (left photo). Our Second batch is 'Sharp's Express' simply because they are fabulous :) This year Andrew was particualrily happy to have the larger beds (we joined the four on each side into 2 large ones each side), this time there is room for proper ridges.

Bigger beds and lots of horse manure - yay

Glorious Spuds, grow well!

The Shed

One of my projects is the painting and prettying up of the old wee shed; I simply love doing it. This year as you know I chose this gorgeous teal and I am trimming it with white. It's almost had all the 3 coats necessary, just the door to do over again :) And then I can get the flower pot shelf put up and the welcome sign and get stuck into the insides again. This is going to be a cosy hideaway alright, a place to have panic attacks in comfort, haha.

That's all for now dear readers, sorry I'm worse again but I am still taking photos and will share every progress (and failure), just maybe a week or so behind myself *blush*.

Namasté

Has Spring Sprung?

I have so much to share with you yet for the past few days I have felt too ill and too unworthy of writing. You all know I have chronic depression and anxiety problems and I have felt good whilst at the lottie but when I am home again I lose the metaphorical plot and thus the computer is simply an alien machine and my hands don't do my bidding.

If you follow me on twitter you'll have first hand knowledge that some of the days over Easter were fabulous for me. I had rare moments of complete calm and happiness being absorbed in some job or another and there being no one else around.

When is the last time you lay on your back, flat out, without giving a thought to how messy and fat you look? Just laying there eyes closed to the sun and listening to Nature's lullaby; the wind, the grass, the river behind, the chickens, the song birds, the distant traffic.... I have been doing it and I promise all worries melt away for a short while and you are just you, in a field, a part of the earth, stripped back to be just the same as everyone else.

To cheer me up today I am merely going to post some seedling photos. The stories and major improvements to the plots can wait until I am of a clearer mind and can write better.

Lettuce seedlings

Those poor potatoes (well they're in now)

Broad beans - now these do cheer me up

My gorgeous Sweet peas - (thank you Anna)

** For you, dear readers and friends who give me strength at times like these and remind me that I must listen to my body and...

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."

 Ralph Waldo Emerson

**