One Day Like This

It was supposed to be a wonderful surprise. I was going to shock you all and truth be told, shock myself. Today was the day I was going to go to Allotment alone and work for a while. Today, the last day of the month, it was a little private goal. This is my 600th post.

 Well I went. I walked up to those gates and I walked down to my shed. I opened the door (for the first time as a person there on my own) and I stepped inside. The heavens opened. I sat down; Maggie was with me of course but the rain was blowing inwards so she got my coat. It was a little cold, there were lots of people in the first field I had had to walk past and to be honest I felt trapped. But I had my headphones on and Elbow was playing; the album was 'The Seldom Seen Kid', I had thought it very appropriate for my visit in terms of the name of course but also because that album never fails to calm and uplift me at the same time.

There were 2 heavy quick downpours and the place was soaked, good for the plants I guess but not so much for me and big surprise. After the second one I picked Maggie up, grabbed my little camera and took some evidential photos; we made it home just before the real rain truly set in.

 

I had a shower (there was slight panic = cold sweats) and now I am sitting here, in my room strangely feeling like a... winner. I know, you thought I was going to say failure, so did I, hahaha. But honestly; I did it, I went up there and I sat on my plot for 15 mins, I said hello to 2 people (in passing) and I got home again without calling anyone for help (though I really wanted to). I didn't totally suck today! And if I have one day like this every now and then, when I can open the door and step out without shame of being seen, without fear of bumping into someone, without shaking and stuttering, without that gagging reflex kicking in, well...

I will not say 'I have seen the light' but I have given myself a little pat on the back. I tried and isn't that what life is really all about?

It is very self indulgent to write this post and to actually publish it too but I want, no I need to be able to look back on this one day, this one day, when Carrie won. Okay, it isn't over yet but I did something, which to me was huge and at the time I didn't feel scared. It makes me cry (you know, shocked not-able-to-breathe type tears) to even write that now, but it's true, I wasn't afraid of being me.

P.S. Elbow's One day Like This...
http://youtu.be/0NFV8dHrZYM official video or
http://youtu.be/hk2xaeXnxlMwith the BBC Concert Orchestra and choir Chantage

P.P.S - It's half 3 now, I've been home for 2 hours and I feel like crap again. Isn't it just a well I wrote this down when I felt good? Life is a little cruel, eh.
xxxx

Taming nature and pilfering on the plots!

Okay so I waxed lyrical about the joys of wild flowers in my last post and how beautiful and useful they are. Yes at the sides of the road a thistle, dandelion and long grasses make me happy but in my lottie, well they are nought but weeds.  Mr Titchmarsh sort of agrees with me, he once said that 'a weed is a plant in the wrong place' and boy did we have a lot of weeds to contend with on our return from France. I swear we could have lost Maggie in there!

There aren't any before and after photos but this one below. It's only a tiny part of 24a but it's all you are getting. Yes, shame was all encompassing when we saw our dear lottie plots for the 1st time, I couldn't even bring myself to take a photo, no, it was just too terrible. So think of this, but EVERYWHERE and you will get an idea of the horror, the horror.....

 

Only 'after' photos will be shared here and let's us forget about the 'before' ~ we are past winners of the 'Best Kept Allotment Award' for goodness sake!

We were methodical in our attack, almost military, a 2 pronged attack, a pincher movement.... Andrew took on the right hand side, I the left, grass was cut and beds weeded like there was no tomorrow. We started on Thursday night and on Friday night we did the next 2 beds and here is the joyous aftermath - some path and 4 beds, one with very healthy celeriac, one with very healthy leeks and 2 clear ones. Thank you very much; *I hear applause in the distance as the plots themselves weep with joy*

However on our return to the Allotments on Saturday we discovered that our shears had been pilfered - shame on you, whoever you are!!! By mistake we had forgotten to put them in the shed overnight and someone took advantage yet again. I say again, as we also noted that very first night that one of our biggest and best Squashes had been taken whilst we were on holiday. Argh, the duality of allotmenteering ~ the community aspect of many people and conversely, the people, all sorts of people.

Saturday saw all the sweetcorn harvested (a mixed bag in the end) and the squash plants below them lifted; sadly no edible fruits there. Then onto the cut and come again beds where all those bolted herbs and lettuces were turfed on the compost heap. Plus Andrew bought these, my new favourite things in the world - new shears!! They are so sharp and have a cushion-y  bit and make a quick whooshing sound when they cut through the grass = happy Carrie.

 

All we have now up that end in the long beds is Scallions, some Rainbow Chard, Sorrel and these beauties (Pak Choi). I am hoping to get the rest of the plot finished today! Andrew has already moved over to 14b and worked hard but I haven't seen it, I've been focusing on 24a.

New plans for the space are afoot and I shall post those (with one of my fabulous drawings) and the finished plot taming story/photos next time, probably tomorrow night. x

*****

Thank you for all the comments on Wild Flowers; so happy that many people have wild flower borders in their area and like the idea (and practice) of seed bombing :)

On wild flowers

I've had a migraine today all day and boy does it hurt. However lying in the dark with an eye mask can only be endured for so long and thus as it is twilighting outside and the blinds and curtains are closed, the lights not switched on and my laptop screen darkened I feel I must write something or explode. The latter would be very messy and hard for the police to explain, devastating for Andrew and just too tempting for Maggie to eat (boke!), so here I am teeth gritted, plodding onwards.

Lying here today I was thinking about roundabouts and public space gardening to keep myself sane(ish) so here I shall share....

French roundabouts make me happy. That sounds very sad but it is true. The vast majority are simply beautiful, and what is so great about it is the fun and community spirit that goes into it.Many of them have art done my school kids in them or really huge fun sculptures from wood. I only have a couple of photos here - one of wild flowers which are everywhere along the sides of the roads and intersections (fabulous idea!) and one of beautiful grasses etc but there were so many more (it's just a little hard to take photos out the window of the car whilst going round the roundabout and trying to be a good navigator). Some of them even had bee hives in them - bee hives! Genius.

I adore wild flowers and did do some guerrilla gardening last year when we moved into this new house. I quickly had an accomplice on line who was doing the same thing in a different country :) I was Ms W, she Ms J and she knows who she is *wink wink*. She even helped me when I ran out of seeds! But sadly and this is really very sad indeed... the area I chose to scatter my hopes of happiness also turned out to be the area which the water and gas people dug up (more than once) and thus not one of my seeds came to anything. I have more though for this year coming! I just thought whilst laying here, that it would be such a joy to guerrilla garden roadsides and make them stunning little points of beauty for people's long travels ummmm, these photos have cemented that idea.

I have only seen 3 bees this past summer, a good few wasps and about 5 ladybirds (Andrew saw his first of the year yesterday!) and 2 varieties of butterfly, one of which was the cabbage white (ggrrr, no broccoli for us this year). I think local indigenous wild flowers - planted on that bit of ugly waste land you have near your house, could well be a good idea, not just for the beauty and pleasure but also for the insects. eh? Enough with the sculptures and loads of money spent on silly bedding plants by our councils - wild is the future! Just a though from an addled and pain filled brain....
x

Shear Maddness

A new day literally is dawning, it's 6.30am and for some strange reason I am up and breakfasted and thinking of the allotment. Yes, it would appear I am obsessed, just a little, at the moment. I would love to asleep and tucked up in my warm cosy bed but no, here I am in the living room listening to the early morning lorries and the rain and writing to you. Mad I know.

Wednesday evening and most of yesterday was a horrendous time for me - I have suffered yet another 'episode' were life seems pointless, were I hear that voice in my head telling me I really ought to 'go', that I have outstayed my welcome at the party and that I shall never be happy again. It has been devastating and incredibly difficult, especially the periods were I just cannot speak or move and am simply rigid and elsewhere in my mind, lost. My own company has not been good for me and even now I am a little uncomfortable being up alone.

I am so fortunate that Andrew's job requires him to be out and about so he was passing the house yesterday and was able to answer my distressed phone call. Then after a meeting I was put in the car and taken with him whilst he visited a very old church site. He collected unopened ripe conkers for me; I love to prise that coat off them. We had a quick dinner on the way home and then went straight to the allotment together.

Although it was 7pm and the light was fading fast, it was the best place for me. Funny, it was cold and dull, the plots overwhelmingly overgrown and messy, but I felt more alive there than I'd done in days. I got out the hand shears and went bonkers - hacking and tearing at the long grass until I had a good sweat going (sorry ~ make that a lady-like glow of perspiration!). Large trugs of grass and weeds were removed and paths re-appeared :) Then I got down on my knees and weeded an old potato bed. This is great therapy for me - each weed removed makes me feel like a worry or a problem is being destroyed and thrown in the rubbish. It reminds me of Mary Poppins cleaning the childrens' room and settling in to her new abode, I love to really tidy up a big old mess. (Though to be honest I would rather be that gloriously eccentric man with the cannon on his roof, if I were to be any character in the film).

Admiral Boom

45 mins of good hard work and 2 paths were revealed, the bed cleaned and tidy, perimeter grass tackled and apples plucked. We have plans my friends, plans that involve us getting most of the fruit, not the birds and better use of the space we have; plans that mean I am going to push that little harder to go up alone; plans - plans make me happy.

So from frighteningly suicidal to being up at 6am thinking about those plans and wanting to go work in the dark and rain - what a difference a day makes :)

France's never ending growing season

Something that Lawerence, the owner of our Gite in the North of Brittany, told us somewhat surprised me. He said that they don't really have a winter where they are and he cuts the grass every 2 weeks all year round! Many years there are just a few weeks were the frost comes and then it's the eternal growing season again. So that made sense of the fact that everywhere you look in Brittany there are artichokes and maize and cabbage etc in large fields, all at different stages of growth.

I fell in love with the artichoke flowers that were for sale in the florists and were often to be found in abundance in large vases outside resturants. (Far better this than eating them - yuck, personally I HATE them).

It's also no wonder that most private gardens have their own vegetable area and everything looks fabulous even though up here at home, they would be over by now. Even caravans on holiday resorts have there own tomato plants growing outside - it's inspirational.

Of course there was no getting away from the fact that it was September and thus it was apple season and cidre making time. All along the sides of roads were apples of all varieties and the supermarkets were no different. Such pride in the apple was lovely and every apple I ate was a delight (even the ones we stole!) Yep, Andrew went scrumping as it was just a shame to see so many apples potentially going to waste, especially when we were pretty sure they were Royal Gala.

Usually on holidays we love going into the local markets to see all the vegetable and fruit varieties and this time was no exception, though to be fair, the supermarkets are amazing as well in their variety and freshness. Here are a couple of gorgous displays from Quimper town market, that is one thing you will always see when it is a personal stall - attention to detail and everything lovingly displayed...it was also the cool place to hang out if you were a student!

Don't want to bore you so I shall write another French piece later in the week, hugs for now xx

1st visit back to the lottie

We went after dinner and attacked the place for about 40 mins until it literally got too dark to see ~ already I am not coping with these darker nights! What on earth am I going to be like when it's getting dark at 3pm???

Anyway after our intense weeding and grass cutting we re-found the celeriac and leeks and boy they look fabulous :) There were 4 wheelbarrows of  stuff to be composted! Plus I came across 3 of the biggest slugs in the world and I didn't even faint, haha.

Sorry but I accidentally forgot to take the camera. However, weather permitting we shall be back tomorrow and I shall take a pic before we get stuck in.

Plus I have most of my first post about France written... with a few photos for you.

And on top of that - can you believe this - I spent about half an hour out in the back garden weeding by myself! And this is with the knowledge that two new families have moved in over looking our house. Just a wee boast there for you ;)

I'm back :)

Hello! and warm affectionate hugs to you all. Did you miss me? did you? I missed you.

I arrived home from lovely France yesterday and sitting here in front of my much missed laptop I can tell you...I am cold!! It wasn't exactly roasting in Brittany but I was shivering whilst inside, that's for sure; I don't think I was supposed to be a Northern Irish girl at all, ahha.

As I am sure you can all appreicate, I am exhausted! 16 hours on a Ferry (rough crossing home - I was sliding up and down my berth which was funny but meant I was awake a good bit) and 4 and half hours driving up through Ireland home = sleepy me. And on top of that, when I'm sleepy, my double vision plays up even more so I can't really see that well today. What I am getting at is I will share my photos and stories later if you don't mind too much and just dose here on my comfy sofa this afternoon before any migraine would decide to set in!

One thing though - I now utterly despise Mosquitos, bloody HATE the beasts. I have a left forearm that is all deformed with huge bites that are so frickin' itchy I could punch something. Plus one on my leg and one on my face, on my face people!!! Arrghhhh.

Anyhow I shall be in touch soon, with photos and tales of yummy food, inspiring gardens and public spaces and scrumping for delicious red apples. Plus this evening we are going to the lottie and I have been warning that it is a mess - I ain't too proud that I won't share the shame, hahahaa.

Anyway, nice to be back xx

Bonjour

hello everyone, I am in Benodet in France this week. Boy these non querty keyboards are impossible. Andrew and I are finally on our holidays and once again we shall miss the sweetcorn harvest. Maggie is with Mamma G and shall be spoilt rotten so don't worry about her; though there are dogs here on the same fancy campsite as us and the mini boy Maggie I see everywhere is making me feel very guilty, so don't tell her dogs are welcome.

I shall go as my double vision is going wild, I learnt to touch type a long time ago to save me from this keyboard confusion and I can't even find the exclaimation mark to show my distress.

!!! Andrew found it !

Speak soon xxx

Missing in Action

Well the title is a little bit of a lie to start with, sorry. I've been Missing in Inaction. I haven't been doing too well at all and that even includes having a lovely birthday and a lovely garden party and getting some commission photography work. I go for life like a sprint when I feel ok, everything done at once and then, because it is meant to be a marathon or lets be more realistic, a nice enjoyable walk, I end up exhausted and out of the journey for days.

Here are some super lovely photos of my Birthday and the birthday party/welcome to our (very nearly) finished garden party.

At the pond with Eimear for a lovely Birthday walk - look enough wishes for everyone and the swans have recovered after the male was killed a couple of years ago :)

 

 I put the candle in myself, no one else was here!



out for dinner at Wagamamma :)



 



the party -

 Courgette and lemon cake and balloons with bunting - hurrah :)

 Hanging lanterns and a fire pit to keep us warm - plus some of my favourite people *blush*

But things at the allotment have been ignored, apart from Andrew going up and collecting dinner. I have only seen it once since I last wrote and the experience was a little upsetting as there are weeds everywhere and plants that have gone over and some lovely berries have been eaten by insects and birds. I got a little upset and then angry with myself and we had to leave.

I do have this - my 1st apple from the James Grieve tree... I shall consume it later :)

For most of this week I was going through a nervous breakdown and on Tuesday I felt suicidal. I'm only telling you this because I want to share the fact that a Suicide Prevention website (I don't know which one, I was in a pretty bad state) recommended (amongst other things) getting out into Nature. Ecotherapy saves the day yet again. I pulled some clothes on, grabbed Maggie and went out, luckily I had already spoken to Andrew on the phone and thus remembered to take my keys and take a Valium.

I don't remember much about it apart from the route I took and the panic I felt, the bag I flung over my shoulder had a camera in it (as always) and I managed to take this walking back home -
It made me smile and I think I'll make it my flavicon.

Okay, so the walk didn't exactly make the world seem like a better place and suddenly I wasn't depressed but I did feel a little stronger and a lot more tired = I fought the voice in my head, snuggled up on the sofa  in fresh cosy clothes (not soaking with panic sweat) and give myself the grace I needed. I slept until Andrew came home. It was not the finest day of my life but I made it through.

This Saturday (and if the bloody rain would stop for 5mins, tonight as well) we shall go to the lottie for a while and really try to get it into some shape. The bag of berries Andrew bought home for me at the start of the week give me a wake up call - a spider in a raspberry I was just about to eat, a caterpillar on another and a maggot, oh dear god, a maggot in a blackberry!!!!! = my lottie needs me and I shall answer her call.

***Today I shall hopefully finish the Turkish Delight company's promo photos and then once the owner sees the files I can share with you a little of what I was up to these past days when I was well enough. I swear this stuff looks and smells gorgeous but I do not like it. It's that jelly texture, so at least I haven't been found in a corner rocking and in sweats with a massive sugar overdose and a lifetimes worth of shame. I have eaten a quarter of one piece out of hundreds. Now if a chocolate shop was to ask me to do promo pics, well, I may really have to go AWOL, hahaha.***

Love and hugs to you all, don't listen to those people who say the summer is over - they lie! ;)
And a hearty THANK YOU for all the comments on the previous post, they really helped me feel connected to the world through this latest bad spell xxx

Hey there, just needed a chat...

It's a bad day, a pretty darn awful one actually. I never really understood Churchill's description of depression being the 'black dog', mine is a black fog (maybe he had terrible handwriting and his f looked like a d ?) I am surrounded by this fog today; too dense to see any future, to dense to really see the present or the past and damn it, it's heavy, oppressive. I'm being mentally buffeted about ~ a little fishing boat being rolled from side to side, up and down, I literally feel seasick and my double vision isn't helping one bit. My fog horn goes unheard, the winds are howling and it's dark, so very dark and cold.

So this ought to be post about the back garden and work we both did over the weekend to try and get it ready for this weekend - my birthday party is planned to be in the garden, but we'll have to see what the weatherman says I guess. It was all pretty boring stuff, I don't think either of us touched a single plant! It was all gravel and wood, and paint but it's really coming to a climax now. Of course it will look much better with balloons and bunting and a glass of wine in hand ;)

The wood here was reclaimed out of a skip, with permission. It fits perfectly and Andrew didn't even cut it :) We're leaving it unstained and letting it weather.

Super clever as he is, this was all in the plans from the start; a wee hidden area where all the bins go and the storage for the patio furniture etc. It will look tidier than this at some point, forgive us, but we are creative types and therefore messy.

 

Of course Maggie wanted in on the action..

I'm hoping to get to my poor neglected lottie tonight but I have a very lovely man coming over after dinner to drop off loads of Turkish Delight. Odd I know, but I said I would try to do promo photos for him - keep your fingers crossed for me (and David's business). Lucky I don't enjoy Turkish Delight, could you imagine! ha, I'd be taking photos of sticky icing sugar covered fingers and a hamster face of shame.

I must finish this now, the weight on my head and shoulders is too much to bare, I just need sleep but of course I have the builders outside. Do you think I could just tell them all to take a half day and leave me alone? No, I didn't think so...

Thank you to everyone who wrote comments on the last blog and 'Welcome' to some new faces. Flighty and Mo - you are both too kind with your praises xxx

Grow Our Own's 3rd Birthday Party

On the 10th of August 2008 I started a little online journal about our relatively, gloriously new Eden Allotment Gardens. We had just had an Allotment Open Day to celebrate and share our joyful first harvest and I wanted to have somewhere to put the photos and my ramblings. I did have a paper scrapbook in which I had tried to write and put newspaper clippings but it was too fiddly. So then I thought (*bing*) I'll try a blog.

Entering into the blog world was hard and lonely, (I didn't know a single person who had a blog) but I was planning to do this only for me, to chronicle the development of our 'little piece of Eden'. When it came to the privacy settings I thought it wouldn't matter if I made it public - who would look at it anyway?

3 years on and much has happened, the allotments are 4 times the size they were for a start! I am still enjoying myself every day that I am well enough to write about my now 2 half plots and my garden. The journey is really on it's way now but I have no wish to arrive at any destination, I am truly enjoying the ride.

So today to celebrate all things Ecotherapy (or as I like to call it Allotmentherapy), to revel in the wonder that is the Blog and the catharsis of writing, to rejoice in the beauty of Nature and her gift of life and to thank my friends and followers, I am having a little party, with gifts xxx

The Inaugural Inspirational Blog Awards

by Carrie

Many people have helped, encouraged and enthused about our journey and I thank them all, you know who you are dear friends of the non-blogging world, of the non-gardening world! xxx

But here are some of the blogs I turn to for inspiration and fun - I hope this little button award will be accepted and placed with pride on their blog pages (it took me bloody forever to make it!) In no particular order......

Carrots and Kids
Canadian Garden Joy (or GardenJoy4Me as I know it)
A Small Holding
Down on the Allotment
Elephant's Eye
Our Plot at Green Lane Allotments
Two Chances Veg Plot
Flighty's Plot
Allot Of Veg

Here is your award....... tell me it's lovely ;)

{Please copy and paste the html I'll send to you if you want to accept it, put into your sidebar html place - hahaha, so technical aren't I.}

Ah, now the music is starting up and the show is almost over. I love you all!  It's MY party and I'll cry if I want too. Cheers and here's to more seed planting and good eating and most of all sharing the ups and downs x

P.S. I just ate the best Runner Beans with dinner ;)

Almost there :)

The back garden is almost coming to its climax; it is very exciting indeed. Unfortunately the rain has called off play today and I can't get out there with paint brushes in hand to get that wood stained and those walls all whitened, ggrrr. I am all ready to go (in my mind) and wish I had more arms. We are got a delivery of gravel today and that will really make it look special.

These photos are from Saturday - the weed suppressing membrane going down and look, that bad weather was already coming in. A little to the left it was dark ominous grey, a little more to the right of the photo was totally blue!

 

I have literally been asleep since Monday, I mean 24 hrs a day Monday and Tuesday, being woken up only to eat and go to the toilet. I took up the offer of a permanent stall at St George's Market Belfast on Sundays to sell my photography. So the good weather that was supposedly delightful yesterday passed me by....

But this is today and I am so excited to share these photos with you -

A little nook for the bins and the storage unit which has the patio furniture and hammock and lawn mower in it.

Andrew getting that gravel down - he was so excited :)

 

The inside of the cube is stained but I need, need to do the outside so badly I am almost in pain, haha. It's rather stupid though to paint in the rain. So instead here is a close up of some stunning purple Valentia slate and an old quern stone which we have as our stepping stones, marking the transition from the outer garden to the inner garden in the traditional Japanese tea garden style :)

Another catch up, this time, it's 14b

I have tried to write this post a few times now and the words just haven't been flowing. I know I'm not well yet again today but there is also a funny block when it comes to writing about this plot and I have only just realised that. It's so stupid, but then again so much about having mental health problems can feel stupid, so it's also very real. Plot 14b is still new to me (though we acquired it in May 2009), it's more open and I feel exposed, naked and a bit uncomfortable over there even though it's where my beautiful flower bed is. There isn't a proper wind break border between us and our neighbours or anywhere to hide, like under the pergola, in the shed or under the fruit arch as there is on 24a.

14b is right by good old 24a at a diagonal - here is a fabulous drawing by me to help you visualise. I drew this with my tongue sticking out so you know it's good, lol. Oh look, a ruler, now why didn't I use that and do it all to scale? Answer: I'm a free form artist, Andrew is the scientific one in this house.

Click to enlarge. I feel it is  now wonderfully clear, hahahaha

Anyway here's a little update as to what is going on. I didn't spend much time there for reasons I have explained but boy, it is productive and quite beautiful, if I may say so myself :)

These are our Purple Podded Peas send so kindly by Celia of..Purple Podded Peas :)

We haven't really got stuck in to them yet as the other peas are finishing up now and we don't want to waste anything but I reckon this weekend will be a PPP festival in the mouth :) Aren't the flowers that they have utterly gorgeous?? They remind me of the Sweet pea, 'Cupanii' that's my favourite but we forgot to plant this year.

 

 This is my flower bed - I am rather proud of this and it has supplied me with beautiful fragrant flowers in the house AND the bees and butterflies love them especially these -yellow Elecampane. This plant came up from Co. Kerry from my best friend Rosie - look at it now Rosie! (indulge me these photos Matron)

 

 Of course along with the flowers there are many other edible food stuffs. But ah haa - this allows me to throw in another flowery photo; the runner beans and climbing beans are there in the background scrambling up the home made wig-wams. The Runner Beans are lovely, not too long but oh so sweet and tender at the moment, the climbing beans are a little lackadaisical.  PLEASE ignore the weeds in this other bed, oh lord, the weeds are taking over in that plot . Here are our gorgeous Beetroot and Sorrel, we've been enjoying these so much, plus the Carrots and Parsnips which won't be ready for a while yet. This last photo is the Jerusalem Artichokes at the back of the plot - these make me happy as I love them and they are growing like crazy  beside 'The Trinty' of compost bins :)