Photo update from last weekend

'Things' have not been good inside the head of your exhausted writer, my dear friends. The debilitation of Depression, Anxiety and BPD is real, really real and I have been in my own personal Hades for quite some times now. I rarely talk to anyone or go outside and life without Maggie is still almost unbearable. So forgive me for the lack of blog posts or comments in fact, if you have a blog yourself, I just haven't been able to think properly - I am experiencing a moment of clarity and am devoting it to this space. Little dialogue but lots of photos....these were the plots last Sunday.

24a is the real producer and it was time for some constructive deconstruction (you know I love that), as the courgettes, sweetcorn and climbing french beans are all finished now and needed composting. Sadly all our leeks had bolted too so 'goodbye' (the plot smelt like soup all afternoon!)

14b is the embarrassing little sister, going through her grunge teenage years and so unkempt but beautiful underneath it all. It gifted us some lovely squashes that we are eating now and loving. Here's Andrew's gorgeous photo of them.

https://www.instagram.com/andrewgault_/

Anyway we focused, as I said on the finished veggie beds on 24a and got as much done as we could before I just couldn't take anymore....

I tackled the bean wigwam and weeded the whole bed .I was so happy to find this little fellow/lady? ladybird which I put in a cosy spot on it's leaf. I LOVE ladybirds!

By that stage we stopped for tea and listened to the crazy lady pheasants running and squawking about. Andrew had by this time cleared the last courgette plants (one last wee harvest first!) and all those sweetcorn stalks. The sweetcorn this year was amazing - Swift F1 as always but a great year!

Back to it and the leeks were lifted (sadly) and composted whilst I did some really quite pointless weeding of the paths which had gotten grassy and slippy up by the arch.  I also noted that the broccoli and even the purple sprouting broccoli  had bolted! What the heck!! The carrots had carrot fly *sad face*, but the companion plants were very happy...


















Andrew prepared the #1 bed for mulching with our glorious well rotted horse manure, look dear friend, I know you, as a true plotter will appreciate the wonder of our manure bin....

How lovely to watch such hard work, hahaa.

Sadly we didn't get to finish the #2 bed as I needed home but! it was fabulous to be there once again (bar seeing Maggie everywhere and her bowl sitting out for her). I am thankful for the good times and my amazing hubby who never gives up on me. Let's hope we have another nice wee time to treasure this weekend.

Best wishes to you all,
Hugs
Carrie xx

P.S. Apologises for the poor photos at times, these are all unedited and from my phone (apart from Andrew's one - it's perfect) x

The clock keeps ticking

It was been a week and life goes on, as of course it should and indeed, must. These past few days have been so terribly painful that I have found myself numb to feelings and confused by the utter silence I have been living in. Andrew goes off to work and I am completely alone now.

I hear her, well, I think do, every now and then and find that I still walk looking down at my feet (so we don't get entangled going back and forth), though she is not there. Her living room bed is now on top of the dining room one, I have gotten rid of all the food stuffs that were for her but the toys lie where they last fell and I can't bear to put her drink bowl and food bowl away yet.  I guess these things will simply take time.

That small collar with her name tag sits beside an old favourite black and white photo of her.

On a good note, I am more interested in the allotment now and have been there a few times since last Friday. Now it's a place of sweet Maggie flavoured memories and particularity of her last day, where she dandered about and lay in the sun before the trip to the vet.

The harvests have been prolific but the broad beans and the mangetout are now finished and some things such as the leeks and the broccoli have started to bolt. Our carrots have however been a triumph and after a few years of lament over them, we are certainly glad of success.

I haven't a photo but the Echlinville apple espaliers had their first harvest and a pie by Mamma G was duly made = darn good apples! There are more, so next time I'll give cooking with them a go.

Back again on Sunday and it was incredible how small courgettes the day before had become marrows! There were so many we had to give more than half away, literally carrying them to another plot holder's car and setting them down with their own harvest. Then the garlic was cleaned and it's perfect again, as each year so far - we have been so lucky.

Tonight were having more of our own vegetables, every meal has had organic, lottie-grown produce in it this week and so in an hour or so, it will be roasted root vegetables and a little chicken - I'm hungry! My appetite came back today and I am ready for a healthy feast :)

With love and thanks for your condolences last week,

Your Carrie x

First seedlings pop through

It's a dreary, dank day and I'm feeling a little depressed. Though Maggie is a healing balm and I have a great book to read and pen-pal to write to; plenty to keep me busy.

But I want to be outside, I want to be planting seeds and clearing the orchard patch at the Lottie.

So the closest I get is stepping out into the mizzily, maudlin morning and taking a peek at the seed trays. And lo, joy is to be found in those little green shoots! Life is pushing through the dirt and darkness and filling me with hope.

Let these bursts of gorgeous greenery delight your eyes too. We need to share the love, the hope and help one another see light ahead xx

Broad beans, Broccoli celebrese, Kale, Purple sprouting broccoli

And I noticed this baby too :)

a tiny kohl rabi!

Hugs

Carrie

The Head Gardener

Today* I have lived inside a big dizzily rain cloud, metaphorically and meteorologically. It's not been fun. At these low light levels I'm like a little Livingstone daisy and stay all shut up, my colours hidden away just as those outside are so dulled and touched with grey.

So to shake me out of this terrible funk I thought I'd talk about one of my favourite subjects - my hubby.

First off I'd like to once again shout from the shed rooftop that he has done everything on the plots this year. As I said in the last post, I have only started to join in recently.

Well, let's just take a look at what he did on Sunday at the Lottie. If you look again at his cosy hideaway area in the last post, you'll notice how happy I am sitting there. But really, its a shame you can't see how happy he is, at this point, at my happiness. I should have taken a photo of that moment from my point of view.

Then as I headed over to 14b, he got stuck into the work by leaving again to take lots of rubbish to the dump. On his return he planted my zinnas out, harvested the extra broccoli sprouts and weeded the runner beans...

Onto to the apple trees which he espaliered like a pro. Lots of pruning, shaping and tying branches to wires and bamboo poles. Check out this RHS advice page if you are interested in doing the same to your apple or pear trees, it's a superb way to grow them in restricted spaces.

The bottom photo is one I pilfered off his Instagram account - it's of the other apple tree (the one behind him in my photo) but they were pretty much in the same condition so it gives you an idea of the shape he was able to get them into. Each tree has one apple - one each for us, shhh don't tell Maggie!

But on top of everything, he encouraged me to go, made me dinner afterwards and praised my efforts. In the evening he went back (whilst I showered and yoga-ed), to plant out some more baby leeks and to use his petrol strimmer and make the place all tidier. He had his mum round to gather a harvest for her too :)

He's just all kinds of fabulous, sometimes it makes me really sick, haha.

Hugs and Love
Carrie

P.S. This is what Maggie did for most of the afternoon, supervising is such tiring work...

* (written on Tuesday - the weather is nicer today)

My timing isn't so great

The stars aligned today, the medication kicked in, that fabled golden orb shone in the blue sky and I felt good.

I saw the bench, my cosy hideaway and couldn't help but giggle, it's perfect. Rustic, handmade by the man I love, with a gravelled area and with two healthy climbers to help shelter me. Maggie of course had to nosey but funnily wasn't so interested in it than the exceptionally tiny dog that just wandered on to the plot :)

I got to work and suddenly (because today I care about such things) I noticed half finished jobs and the real state of my flower beds, which I have simply been ignoring bar some weeding. Oh they were meant to be my project this year but so far I haven't had the best 2015 and boy does it show here. Half the lovely seeds I ordered haven't been planted and I never did get round to buying another permanent flowering bushy plant.

I start with the roses. Dead heading is pleasant and fragrant but then the black-spot is more noticeable and I realise why Andrew bought me a pair of secateurs a few months ago and encouraged me to garden.....most of both rose bushes need cut away, including lots of sweet buds too. The plants look great, well, healthy at least once I'm done; I'm scratched and bleeding (which is only fair after their neglect) and set an intention to look after them better.

Then on Monty's advice I cut back the two oriental poppies that I missed in their fabulous moment of flowering and cross my fingers that they may come back for a little flush again. It's so weird to think about it, I didn't really do anything this year, I simply couldn't care less and not one seed or bulb has been planted by my own fair hand. It has been all about the therapy of simply being outside in the air and getting my hands dirty weeding and creating pathways. I really miss the sunflowers this year :(

I finished the evil weeding between the two flower beds and we plan to get a ton more gravel delivered soon so we can have proper paths for once on 14b. It looks ok and though I'm tired (Andrew so lovingly telling me I look like I am about to collapse - thanks) I want to do more,  put my mark on the place but it's time to go. It's bloody rotten timing as I actually want to be here and get suck in, not something I can admit to that often. Plus the very first cosmos and dahlia are blooming, both are white and I think of new hope, new beginnings.

A quick harvest of some broccoli, great broad beans and 4 mangetout, a sit down on the new bench and then off we go. I realise *blush* this post is completely about me but I shall chronicle as much of Andrew's day as I can in the next post.

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And then when I came home I had a panic attack thinking of how utterly crap I have been and am. I was a mess whilst Andrew calmly cooked some dinner (with our wee harvest). But later, once I'd settled a bit I read my own 'Allotmentherapy' essay and rediscovered the reason I go there at all, seems I do talk sense sometimes :)

Love and hugs
Carrie

P.S. Our Instagram accounts are great for on the spot photos which are sometimes better than these I put up!

Sunday allotment live!

My smartphone, like most I would suppose, has a feature were you can write yourself notes, reminders or indeed long pieces of prose. For today's blog I thought I would share a couple of hours on the aplotment (wow, I haven't called our plot that in years!) as it was happening...

3.00 pm
Thank goodness we're here I really thought it wouldn't happen today with all that rain. I've just got Maggie all set up on her running lead and am now admiring the cosy hideaway corner Andrew has been building. At the moment he's putting up netting around the trellis for more of a wind break. Time I got my weeding stuff together.

3.15 pm
I'm alone on the plots for a wee while whilst Andrew runs and gets his drill, some netting and hopefully some marigolds for me. I told him I could do this on my own but I'm struggling, someone else is in the field, I can hear them but not see them. Thing is, what if they come over for a chat - I'd die, dead on the wet grass, dead, that's how strong my anxiety levels are right now.

It's rained heavy most of the day and the ground is really squelchy. I can also hear the boats on the Lough as the Tall Ships leave Belfast. Oh and I just saw that wren Andrew's been harping on about - it's nesting in our compost heap.

Big deep breaths.

I really miss my music at these times. I need to get one of those wee mp3 players and wireless headphones...

3.40 pm
Andrew's back and instantly it rains. Maggie has gone bonkers, she hates the rain yet she will not stay in the shed and goes for a run around - who is this imposter dog?! ....We three are now locked in the shed, not exactly fearing for our lives but it is a downpour of quite epic proportions.

Now we can but stare out at the plot and the things we so want to do. Andrew wasn't able to get netting for over the blueberries and gooseberries and it's just as well as there wouldn't be time to do anything with it. There are puddles forming all over and I only brought one glove in here with me, why, Carrie??

3.50 pm
Ventured out again. Oh goodness that other glove is sodden, gross.

4.00 pm
Typical, it's gotten sunny again and the fleece is off; that's Northern Ireland for you. I've just hoed around the peas - our compost had a lot of seedlings in it - oops. It goes against everything I stand for, I get very weed by the root and turf it, but boy using a hoe instead, well, it was extremely satisfying and the area looks great in no time at all.

Andrew is planting the celeriac babies, they're really healthy looking and will love all this crazy apoplectic rain.

4.20 pm
Andrew is just thinning out the kohl rabi and pak choi (which are being attacked by flea beetles). We need to move the netting from over the kale and calabrese to over them. One line of garlic must be lifted to facilitate this - eek!! our first harvest of the season :)

4.45 pm
All paths are weed free (for now, boy that was 3 trug loads! Now to more glorious weeding and removal of dead leaves in the newly released brassica area :)

5.00 pm
I run around tidying up my stuff, taking some pictures and throwing in a few yoga moves. I'm desperately trying to find any more gooseberry sawfly too, darn things, I hate them! You can really tell I am nought but the undergardener here :) But awesome work have been achieved between us.

Parsnips, carrots and beetroot doing good - turnips have bolted; pink roses and poppies; the asparagus fronds are so pretty

Proud I came, glad I got over the panic attacks but...time to go home :)

Hugs and love
Carrie

Saturday on plot 24a

Exhaustion as truly hit home this week; every couple of hours of each day I have had to take a nap, just in order to keep going. These periods come every now and then and though I do get frustrated and maybe a little scared, I know it won't last much longer. Giving in and feeling lazy are not my style but it's what my body needs.

Now any remarks on my birthday coming up and that this is all down to age and ...I shall look for you, I shall find you, and I shall slap your face with a wet lettuce leaf!

This is maybe part of the reason why I am so very tired this week - the hard work we pushed into a few hours at the allotment on Saturday last.

My work -
* Cut grass with push mower

* Weed leek bed, general bad spots on plot and the back bed (scary)

* tie back flowers and try to deadhead whilst being sniffed by bees

Andrew's work -
* rip out the second batch of broad beans now they are finished and get all last remaining beans off those plants, including seeds for next year :)

* plant out more broccoli under netting moved across from older settled in broccoli plants :)

* deal with bolted lettuces and spinach (which was a non-bolting variety!) It's my personal opinion that lettuces need to be in the back garden = easier access and used all the time.

Please do enjoy the other beauties in that bed (and further up plot). Everything has done well in 24a so far.. Only bad thing about it is us! We arent harvesting as we should and eating/sharing/storing! Ooops

Sweetcorn tassels; Kohl rabi; courgettes and flower; Autumn raspberry; Rudbeckia.

Love and Hugs

Carrie

Autmn Clear Up - part 2

Oh for shame, it has taken a whole week for me to get myself in gear and show you the further fabulous adventures of the clear up, for shame indeed. Without further time wasting, here is the broccoli and kale bed makeover.

Main things - Broccoli gone, weeds gone :) Kale delicious!

This was the pea bed and some random cheeky poppies too ;) I may have had something to do with that *whistles calmly to deflect attention*. All cleared now (big good strong poles and netting saved) and looking good. Plus the mint has been planted in the huge barrel we found a few years ago washed up on the beach - grow until your heart is content Mint plant of mine :)

Really would like to point out that the mess behind the now ex-pea bed is the other part to plot 14. We have 14b, that jungle behind the wind break is 14a *rolls eyes*....

*****



Have you pruned back your Summer Raspberries??? It's time my friends.

Cut out all those canes that had the fruit on them just leaving a few inches above ground level. Then secure those new canes that have grown this year, that rubbery twisting wire would be good but honestly we have never had any problems with good old string.

We do have a sneaky way of tying it though....

twist the string a couple of time in between the wire and the cane - it acts as a cushion so the cane isn't rubbing against the wire in the blowy winds of Winter. No need to thank me - just sharing the knowledge ;p

 

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Finally a teaser for what is to come......

Maggie is trying to give a hint here, by placing herself exactly on this spot and letting me take her photo, she hates her photo being taken, so you know she feels strongly about this.

does that bed not look a little big to you? Seems Andrew may not know when to stop!

 Hugs, have a fab weekend xxx

 

Just like a fairytale (or something)

I went to the lottie on Tuesday on my own as well! Leaving the house with Maggie I was up there by 5 or a quarter too and got to work (with thanks to Elbow on my MP3 Player) in the sun. Andrew arrived at 5.30ish and had the biggest ever smile on his face - not sure if I have ever seen him quite so happy, hahaha.

We had a picnic and a dander around the plots together, praising this and despairing at that (so many abandoned plots!). Then it was back to work. We weeded like there was no tomorrow and Andrew managed to stake the Broad Beans and prepare the broccoli bed.

Me and Maggie chilling after our picnic

We came home at 7pm and the sun was still shining. But since then I have been asleep - seriously. I went to bed on Tuesday night and woke up for Breakfast, in the knowledge that it was Wednesday and therefore my Support Worker was due - but she was ill and couldn't make it. I sat down on the sofa, a little deflated, got a little chilly and wrapped up in my blankie. I woke up at 4.30pm hahaha and even napped after dinner. Wednesday done. Ummm I seem to have lost a day :)

This morning it was the postman that made me get up (at 11am!!!) and now I am sitting here typing and half asleep. So I guess Monday and Tuesday, though big leaps forward for me have somewhat taken it out of me too. I need a wee nap....

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Oooops - 5.15pm now... *blush* but I couldn't help it!!


Rhubarb!!!

all harvested now

I have to update you on what we're eating lots of ~
Purple Sprouting Broccoli ~ eating and freezing,
Garlic ~ stored from last year, it just never ends!
Rhubarb ~ eating it in compote form and giving loads away

Oh but the amount of blossom on every single fruit bush and tree, the spuds growing so fast and all the seeds that are germinating! It craziness, the whole place it turning wonderful shades of chartreuse, lime, dark green, yellow-green, pale green, blue-green, dead grass yellow (yes!!) and white and ooohhhhhh, it's fab! Too fab in fact - I'm going to have to show you photos over two days. Tomorrow will be cute baby plants - today? how the lottie is colouring up :D

plum blossom

Cherry blossom



my huge Echinacea coming through - bees love this

so many new raspberry canes

anyone want these - I hate them

my Primula survived it's move :)