Snowdrops have superpowers

I went outside yesterday {sort of} by my own volition and did some clearing up, brushing the deck and clearing away fallen branches and millions of leaves. All due to the power of the Snowdrop clump.

Toby likes to run round to that hidden area of the garden to have a hearty sniff and pretend he's being a good boy and doing his morning pee pees, but yesterday I followed him to make sure he 'went' and THAT is when I saw them.....glowing ethereally in amongst the detritus. They are the happiest part of February, don't you think?

Hours later and with the air a fraction warmer and the sky still bright I was drawn back to them (via my bedroom to put on lots of layers) and tend to them as they justly deserved. Here, friends, is a photo of HOPE, literal hope.

Once I got my photo a massive panic attack had hold of me and that was the day ruined but you know, it was worth it.

Today I look at the meaning of February to me - yes, I'm Northern Irish so the Celtic Imbolc celebration does matter to my soul...I would like to cleanse the earth at the allotment by walking around it with a candle (or traditional flaming torch) but I'm not that much of a hippie. Instead, in my mind I have cleared the site and will consult Andrew on drawing a new plan.

Love and hugs
Carrie

P.S. We have 6 more pots of snowdrops 'Galanthus' for the front garden waiting to be planted.

Hope, Love and Computer gardening

Hello sweet reader; how are you? I fear don't ask enough or maybe ever and that has got to change. My wish is that you are all hopped up warm, maybe with a hot beverage and a loved one near by.

I am sitting here in my living room with my little dog and a decaff coffee (just in case you were wondering) and soaking wet hair - I just did the hardest thing - I just had a shower. When you have depression etc doing anything can literally be a battle and my mental health today is bad. And I mean BAD.

HOPE

Look! - Daffodils are starting to emerge, to poke their brave little shoots up into the world and face the harsh realities of the cold and rain and snow. I think the snowdrops are doing the same but the deck of the tea house was slippy so I didn't risk it. ANYWAY - signs of hope are appearing, birds are singing ever so loudly and thoughts are turning away from the darkness and into the joys of planning, planting and pottering. Even with a blackness eating me up inside, I feel hope.

LOVE

Last week Andrew and I celebrated 20 years of togetherness - something I never dared to hope for. He isn't fed up with little old me, he still loves me as I love him and both of us are looking forward to the next 20 years of adventures! (Light and dark by turn but always love.)

He made a book of photos from those last 20 years and it's adorable, I love it so much I can't describe it. We were meant to be Berlin but had to cancel as he was so ill with the cold but instead we had time in our pjs watching movies and napping; yes napping is one of our favourite things! And we stayed in Bullitt Belfast (a lovely hotel) and drank cocktails and had the best dinner ever and it was fab.

Shout out to Mamma G for looking after Toby!

COMPUTER GARDENING
It's still so very chilly and the weather is dreich and not looking up for the days ahead. So instead of being at the allotment (I wonder if I'll be able to find it - it's been so long, too long) we are looking at past photos, getting inspiration on Pinterest, thinking of what needs done, and even (I am embarrassed to say) playing Gardenscapes, hahaha. Gardenscapes is a silly game on Facebook where I am winning daft challenges to earn stars and then swap them for trades done to my huge garden - I'm on level 114 and it's looking fabulous, though no veg patch yet hahahaha.

Soon though we shall venture there to good old 24a with our garlic and our 'can do attitudes'. This my friend, is our 10th year as allotment holders and we plan to make it a good one :)

Love and Hugs
Carrie

Coming and Going

It was yesterday I thought of them. I knew where to look of course and under a fine layer of dead bamboo leaves I found them. Sweet, fresh green harbingers of Spring. They have burst forth from the darkness and exude hope, a reminder that warmer days and longer days are coming and we can make it through this cold, dark, dank period. We always do. But for someone like me, whose brain is heavily fogged with depression and confusion and all matter of clutter, the sight of these snowdrops is a powerful annual sign that I too can make it through another winter, another period of suffocating darkness.....

This is only a part of the hidden cluster you must walk around the tea house to get a glimpse off, but the effect is so magical. I look forward to them growing taller and flowering; that almost blinding white is forming inside.

It's a times like this that a William Peter Blatty quote always comes to my mind. In the midst of reading his book - The Exorcist, there are moments of pure reassuring peace amongst the horror and evil. This is one quote that truly lifts my spirits every time I read it and hope it goes down well with you....

It is also times like this that I wonder about the allotment and what jobs might need doing. It's fun to think of all the trees and bushes over there that look so dormant but are really working hard to rise the sap and withstand the cold. Soon there shall be buds on their branches and the joyous cycle begins again.

Not a great photo - sorry.

Already the rhubarb is growing strong and we have one crown under the forcing pot for that special treat of extra sweet branches. The beds are mulched with lovely compost and manure, no seaweed this year as it's just been too blasted cold to collect any. Andrew has already done a lot of pruning. I would like to think the garlic is poking through now too, but the weather is just too poor to go and check.

This month is truly for dreaming and planning; thinking about optimising your space, noting where raised beds need fixing, timbers replacing, looking at seed catalogues and remembering what worked for you last year. Enjoy! In no time the hard work shall begin.

******

I'm off on a holiday this week to the sunshine and other-worldly beauty of North Tenerife, time to take a break from the everyday and go climb a volcano or two. I look forward to the many different plants I hope to see, the incredible black sand beaches and the blue sky. We're booked into a small place in the middle of nowhere with hiking trails all around....

Hugs
Carrie

First seedlings pop through

It's a dreary, dank day and I'm feeling a little depressed. Though Maggie is a healing balm and I have a great book to read and pen-pal to write to; plenty to keep me busy.

But I want to be outside, I want to be planting seeds and clearing the orchard patch at the Lottie.

So the closest I get is stepping out into the mizzily, maudlin morning and taking a peek at the seed trays. And lo, joy is to be found in those little green shoots! Life is pushing through the dirt and darkness and filling me with hope.

Let these bursts of gorgeous greenery delight your eyes too. We need to share the love, the hope and help one another see light ahead xx

Broad beans, Broccoli celebrese, Kale, Purple sprouting broccoli

And I noticed this baby too :)

a tiny kohl rabi!

Hugs

Carrie

Allotment Heartache

I lost my most favourite tree and maybe my favourite plant on the plots last week; my precious cherry tree 'Stella'. I adored it. It wasn't a great shape as Andrew had trained it into a fan but after being moved last year it was thriving, I knew it would be happy and we would get fruit this summer...

The cherry blossom image is very important to me as a sign of hope and of the fragility, the fleeting nature of life. I have one tattooed on my wrist and even called my business Cherry Blossom Tattoo (on hiatus). Just look at the abundance of blossom here...

This was the bed I attacked with such gusto that I couldn't stop until it was cleared one weekend in March. Andrew was annoyed with me as I completely burnt myself out. But as I wrote later that day I was using that clearing 'as a desperate attempt to use my negative thoughts and internal anger for a good purpose...'constructive desconstruction' is a phrase I often use, I don't know how I came up with it, but it couldn't have been more true today'.

I was trying to save that tree and give it the life it deserved and in a very literal sense (in my muddled mind) I was trying to do the same for me.

Well here she is at the bottom of the field, hacked up to bits and never to be put back together. I feel very embarrassed to say this but I sat down there and grieved a while. It was like losing a part of me and having a dream smashed into many bits. 

I guess I don't talk about things like this often, but allotmentherapy for me isn't about the rotation system of even planting seeds - it's about the wonder of watching plants grow and tending to them, protecting them and most importantly, having a connection with them. It all sounds very hippy dippy but that's me I suppose.

So here she is....missing, gone...

I am getting a new one, it must be a 'Stella' and it must live a full life where I can watch and find peace its nobbly branches, those buds and that blossom! If I'm lucky maybe in years to come it will come to fruit for me. Plus I am getting a white climber for the fruit arch - of course I ran it by Andrew but it was happening!

So for me I have to end on a note of beauty or I'll get all sad again, despite all the other glorious seedlings and plants we have and the progress made that same weekend.

I made an 'Ode to Spring' with a load of things from the hedgerow behind our shed and two glorious blossom heavy branches of my old tree....

Much love and many hugs

Carrie

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