The shed that dreams are made of

Last night I went to bed much earlier than Andrew and in those intervening hours I slept fitfully, waking often and then entering back into the same dream. The dream was about a shed, a shed of wonder, of majesty, one that engendered awe, joy and comfort in equal measure. This is the shed to end all sheds........

I have always loved the idea of my shed looking something like this from the outside....modest but adequate for my humble allotmentering needs :) In my dream it was very similar to this only a little dirtier but shockingly, pale grey with a grey door, white window complete with window box (red flowers and ivy) and a proper slate roof though without a look out bit at the top. (Well done google images for finding this one)

Inside, naturally there was a slate floor area were one took ones work boots off and dirty clothes and slipped into something more comfortable. From here there was a doorway into the main body of the shed, eh, viola.... Sainte Chapplle.

....only with the carpet from our bedroom which is cosy, red and grey stripes.

Over by the window was the cocktail bar where I was sitting with a notebook and pen writing down my very important thoughts whilst drinking a pink cosmopolitan (the lion was not there but this is the best photo I could find, naturally my bar was more swanky but still brown and cream with much fine smelling leather and candles).

 .... Maggie was lounging on her own sofa by the wood burning fire

(excuse the poor substitute for the gorgeous Maggie - this pup is a little odd looking..)

At the back left, there was a door which opened onto a medium sized room (say the size of a ballroom) where in my gardeners where busy tending to the seedlings and sharping up all the tools :)

A pleasant little dream.

*****

Oh and I have to share this for if my imagination had been this good, I would most certainly had dreamt up one of these for the winter days. However, it was eternally spring/summer in my world anyway :)

Happy Valentines' Day for tomorrow - I LOVE YOU XXX

Celebrating Spring whilst eating Summer

I wish I could weave you a fabulous tale about how all Irish people buy their spuds and eat homemade Blackcurrant jam on St Bridget's day. It's certainly something that I did and I wish it would catch on...maybe after this post it slowly will... Also it would be lovely if we all sent each other gorgeous bunches of Tulips as I received from my bestest pal Rose - thank you again!!

Ahh, the joy of thinking Spring-y. The flower boxes on the window sill in front of me have little daffodils not only emerging but getting ready to burst open and send their beautiful sunshine yellow glow into the street. It's a waiting game and one I am enjoying. In the back garden we have had sweet little Snowdrops for weeks; I think there is a grand total of 5 single blooms but they are only baby plants and in time I am sure there will be years when it's just a jungle out there :)

Well anyway, back to the wondrous tradition *cough cough* of potato buying and jam eating on St Brigdets' Day.... So as I am sure you are all aware, the 1st Feb is St Bridget's day here in Ireland and thus the 1st day of SPRING. Sing it with me people - Spring!!!!
Side Note -
I'm not religious at all but...St. Brigid represents the Irish aspect of divine femininity in her role as patron of babies; cattle farmers; dairymaids; dairy workers; midwives; milk maids; poultry farmers; poultry raisers and all sorts of people involved in fishing, scholars and poets and the printing press. So she's pretty powerful in the farming community of which us Allotmenteers are pretenders to the throne ;)

So you got your Spuds? We got ours last weekend and they were duly put on the window sill upstairs to start chitting on the 1st :) This year we have remained faithful to Sharpes' Express and are trying a new one to us 'Estima' . We prefer to pick ours by hand; love a good looking at and a squeeze, we do ;) I am absolutely sure that there is nothing wrong with buying them in bags or through the mail but if I can, I love to choose personally.

I LOVED the brown paper bags..

And this is the money shot - the jam. Nothing quite like growing your own blackcurrants, picking them (arrgh the eternal battle with the birds!), washing and freezing them until the horrid winter. Then making jam - so sweet and summery on one's toast; there ain't anything like it. We have lots of Raspberries and more Blackcurrants, so more jam to come :) Yummy.......

Hope to chat again soon, just need the weather to co-operate and then I can get out there and plant seeds and what not :)

oh yea, so there's that other half plot that needs de-shaming!

Poo.

You think you're doing really well and in way you are, cause you are working your bum off and getting things into shape on 24a.  - "Just don't look over there, don't do it to yourself Carrie...14b belongs to you too!". Oh poo....

So when we started back into the pre-spring clear up I started with my big flower bed in 14b and did a rather good job. I've been over there once or twice since to over see the relocation of my gorgeous Oriental Poppy and a Rose but apart from that I have avoided eye contact, especially after I was needed to help move the cold frames and was tripping all over the place on the rubbish. Oh dear... It's so bad in fact that I'm not even going to show you the whole place, just the before and afters of the wee bit we did manage to fix...a bit.

Andrew was determined he was going to get some good cow manure for the Pumpkin patch and that he did. It took bloomin' forever as which each barrow load he simply had to stop and chat with our mate Bill for about an hour each time (okay slight exaggeration, I'll admit that). The patch did us proud this year but the only photo of our haul is on Andrew's mobile phone sorry. Anyway we thought that we were doing a good thing when we moved them all from Mamma G's house round to ours and stored them in the attic - NO, it turned out that up there was too warm or something and they got all fungus-y at the stem and we had to throw about half out. Please, I can't talk about it any more, the tears are prickling......

I decided enough was enough with the top corner. It was so bad that I even lost count of the number of trug-fulls of weeds I removed and to be honest in the end I was just tearing weeds out and dumping them on the ground to be collected up later.

We now have some currant bushes! and loads of gorgeously healthy Jerusalem Artichokes.

Now I beg you, do not look closely at these photos and don't mention the rest of the plot. We'll get to that all in good time *swoons at the thought* and yes I KNOW we need to get more bark mulch and the number has fallen off the sign.....stop looking at me like that, don't judge me! hahahahaha

Here's Maggie, let's focus of her zen like glory :)

De-Shaming complete :)

Hello dear lovely reader :) Hope you are feeling fabulous and starting to notice the nights getting shorter - oh SPRING is on her way!!!

So this weekend I was at the lottie both Saturday and Sunday - I know - shock! I shouldn't have been there on the Sunday as I wasn't well enough but I pushed as I usually do and it present yours truly is just emerging from yet another quite bad nervous meltdown. I couldn't even talk these past days never mind type. Silly girl. I really can't seem to see the signs until it's too late.

Anyhow - Let me show off what we did on Saturday - I was feeling pretty good for a change :)

Andrew worked so hard on gossipping with a new member of the lottie, hahaha. But he did get a lot of work done too *blush* I'll have to get him to tell me again a little about his new friend, he sounded very nice but my brain is a mess and I can't remember much other than he cheerfully joined the search for my misplaced camera at the end of afternoon....I'll tell you that story in a while.

So here is the 'Corner of Shame' now - looking better I think you will agree. We now have the 2 cold frames over from 14b and have the area blocked off. We are going to use this area as a nursery and as the potting up area is just round the corner it all makes better sense of the space. I doubt it will stay carpeted, hahaha and no we aren't getting a couple of chairs and a coffee table! Once the grass underneath is dead we'll probably put down bark mulch or some such thing :)

I concentrated on de-weeding (yes it's a word!) the rest of the asparagus/strawberry bed and uncovered our path under the fruit arch. It's growing really well - I'll have to get Andrew to tie those branches in.

Then I tackled the 'coffin', haha, I still call it that, it looks like a coffin - sorry Andrew. Look Rhubarb :) I forgot to put that forcer on top after weeding the area but I'll do it next week. This whole area hadn't being looked at for a while - eek!

And so I took some before photos and went to take some after photos an hour later and NO camera!!! I searched on my own for half an hour, getting more and more frustrated and upset, then Andrew and his new friend helped for another half hour, no sign of it :( We were everywhere and looking through rubbish and on our hands and knees going through the long grass (the blasted camera was in a GREEN case *rolls eyes*). I was starting to get rather dark and Andrew's friend had to leave and I just felt so sad I started to cry (just a wee bit), Andrew gave me a big hug and said nice things. Thing is he was really hurting my boob hugging me......the camera was in my gillet, way up on top of my boob!!!! The pocket stretches all over inside, you could fit Maggie in there!

So I had been walking around with a rectangular right boob for an hour - it was really noticeable! What sweet gents they were - never once did they look at that area at me say 'is that not it in your top?' Unless Andrew's new friend thinks I have very odd boobs - hahahahaha.

Plot 24a gets a little less shameful :)

Last Saturday we attacked the plot for a few hours and miraculously just finished in time for the Heaven's to open, again; that happened last week - the gods are happy with us.

Andrew began de-shaming 'The Corner of Shame' and I started and very nearly completed clearing out the Asparagus and Strawberry bed. Now who would you like to hear about first?? Me! Oh, okay :)

****

It has come as a severe blow to us but the whole Asparagus bed was completely rotted away last Summer. The winter had been so wet and the cow manure that Andrew (in good faith poor love) had put over the top as a mulch, just made the ground soaking, plus everything was attacked by leatherjackers and thus the crowns were simply pulp.

We had invested a lot of time and money into this venture as it is one of our favourite foods and it's bloomin' dear in the shops. We studied the whole thing and got the right crowns for our conditions, made those conditions even better and thought, yum....tasty Asparagus for the next 20 years, fresh from our own plot. Well no. So to ease the pain for Andrew who, we all know, was the one who did all that research, not me..I set about clearing the bed in the late Autumn.

Well since then some pretty substantial weeds had settled in and I had missed one mushy crown too. So everything out! A tough job but I love turfing dead stuff and weeds :) I found 1 sad and lonesome baby worm. Just one.

The strawberries were ancient and not really producing terribly well for us and so need replacing. They were in a silly place too so this year we are getting new ones and putting them in where the Asparagus was and just having them and the raspberries in that big square bed. There shall be a huge fruit cage erected too, which will be one of many - I am not letting all my delicious berries go to the birds again this year *shakes fist at sky*

P.S - look at this - flowers (and berries) on the Raspberries; they are confuddled plants!

Over at the far diagonal corner I got Andrew to start into the most shameful area of our whole plots. My gorgeous Oriental Poppy had to be moved (it's my favourite thing on the plot) and it was found a new home in my big flower bed over on 14b. A poor we half rotted Rose was also moved (I don't really hold out much hope for this little guy) and a very pretty primrose :) The Red Dogwood just won't fit anywhere on the plot or even at home so at the minute it's just been cut back and hopefully I can do a little guerrilla gardening with it. The beautiful red stems to make for good pea sticks etc so I think it will be an asset in the hedgerow ;)The other grasses were just cut back and some self seeded babies potted up as spares for the back garden.

This is what Maggie did. And this is also the other left over carpet that we have had in our house for a year and it will be used to KILL, kill, kill the grass pathways :)

Going back tomorrow :)
I wonder will this guy be there again (sadly I doubt it as we have many birds of prey and, well, he sort of stands out). Thanks to the Hubby for the photo.......

Leeks, Parsnips and The Corner of Shame

We tried 2 varieties of Leek this year again ~ our usual trustworthy 'Musselburgh' and the promisingly named Lyon 2 'Prizetaker'. Well 'Musselburgh' has yet again been fabulous and we have been eating away at them with joy. However, boo and hiss to the 'Prizetaker' as they are all straggly and in flower for goodness sake. Very disappointing.

Though please do note, in this photo is my beautiful Red Chard shining away happily in the background and the lavender down there is doing good too; so over all, I am content. :)

We had utterly fantabulous Parsnips on the Christmas dinner table yet again this year. Oh how I love my Hubby's cooking - his honey glazed lottie grown and just freshly dug Parsnips. Yummmmm. I don't remember such a mixture of sizes before but that doesn't put me off and I have gobbled them up like the proverbial Turkey.

This overview photo of the 24a plot is to ease you into the mess that is to come *already I blush*....We are using Mamma G's leftover cut of carpet to try and kill off the grass. Most pleasingly, it is exactly the right width and I swear that grass is going bye bye. I bloody hate it, trying to cut it all with shears is a great tricep/bicep workout but I also end up with a blasted sore back and mouth full of bad words that I am afraid oft spill over. Give it time and the grass will die and we shall cover the whole lot in bark or some such thing. Plus the beds are going to made wider, oh yes, there are changes afoot on the plot - all I hope for the better :)

* The corner of shame

Yes this was once quite pretty, honestly. It was my little area for growing girly flowers and such but now that I have a gorgeous big flower bed on 14b I have decided it is no longer viable. In fact I have decided it is a damnable waste of space. My healthy red Dogwood is, well too healthy and has been trying to take over since it was planted. My ideas for weaving baskets has laughingly been, ummm, set to one side for the good of my sanity.

We have a round a zillion of those bronze grasses and more are self seeding all the time, most likely as I write this. The only things that need saved and loved and cared for are my most gorgeous Oriental Poppy and a Red Rose that are in there. This is one of the only spots on our plots that is prone to flooding and the rose was suffering anyway so it's best all round.

Look at the way Andrew is treating the area away - he never did help me to get it sorted to I think my wonderful idea of handing it over to him as a nursery/potting up area was his evil plan all long. Light bulb moment! I shall duly punch him, hold on.....a little domestic violence is surely acceptable in this case. *Only Joking* he is a way over there at the other end of the sofa and I am too tired to start a fight, it would only end in my demise - he knows my tickily spots!

So that is you basically up to date. We have daffs coming up everywhere - YAY! and Andrew has been shifting cow muck into our purpose built manure center and doing the essential pruning of all the Gooseberries and Blackberries etc.

I'm going back tomorrow :)

cleansing for the new year

It's an ancient Irish tradition to clean your home, top to bottom, for the New Year - a way to make room for new memories and to rid the place of old unwanted ones, fears and spirits. Like all little superstitions it may sound a little childish but I like to try and do them...to keep a connection with my family from the past.

The house didn't get cleaned, in fact it's a mess with things still sitting about from Christmas and half finished home improvement projects which (with the best intentions in the world) a week off for Andrew was simply not long enough to complete. Plus, lets face it, who wants to spend their only moments between eating, rushing around visiting people and the all important naps, sorting out what can stay, what can go to the dump and what ought to be kept for that car boot sale you have been planning to do for the past year!

But. The lottie - now that we DID make time for and a good cleansing was done there on New Years' Day. Despite the drizzle and the cold (my bum was frozen!) we worked hard and it felt good. I want it to be known now - I get a kick out of ripping out dead plants, chopping down (excuse me, 'pruning') back others and generally tidying up. I love it almost as much as harvesting crops....no, that's a lie - I love it more, I love constructive destruction! Plus, to top it all off, we were there completely alone :)

Before

2 hours and 5 trug loads of weeds and dead plants (plus loads of blasted Wall Flowers  - sadly I have decided I hate them) later.....

After

I know, I know. I doesn't exactly look amazing but I did a thorough job and long dandelion and thistle tap roots were completely removed :) Sadly, and this is really heartbreaking, I didn't see one single worm. Those bloomin' New Zealand Flatworms seem to have got the lot and moved one to some other poor plot! Aarrgh!. There was a healthy dose of spiders and beetles, slugs (aaarrrrghhhh!) and 1 only ladybird. But I am still in mourning for my little wiggly wormy friends.....

The weather being as awful as it is, you must forgive me as I drag this one trip out over a couple of posts. Goodness knows when we will get back, but just to assure you and reassure myself, the place is in rather good condition surprisingly :)

Lots of love and may 2012 be a happy, healthy year for you xxxx

Warm Winter Wishes

It's really just been so unlike me. I haven't been able to string a sentence together for ages and my poor blog has been suffering so much. You will have no idea how often I open up this laptop, come to this page and just can't think of anything to say. My depression has reached an all time low this Winter and as today is the Winter Solstice I am fighting back. And would you look at this link - 2012 is going to be a good year! Though in saying that if we believe the Mayans and their calculations this is also going to be the apocalypse, erm, Yay! eek

So another year draws to it's ultimately anticlimactic end. Yes at the moment all the children are super duper excited about their presents and what Santa will bring, us grown ups are slightly nervous about the Christmas family dinner being perfect and everyone liking their gifts and then of course we'll all eat too much and feel fat and then there's New Years' Eve to consider...

I warn you now I am the original Scrooge - bah humbug to the lot of it.

As you know dear, lovely readers, I have been having a most difficult time. Christmas does not help. I am not one for the forced jollity, the socialising, the drinking and I get no sense of religious wonderment either. To me it is just a time to rub noses in the dirt, a time of 'look what we have and what you don't', spoilt children, an over abundance of food (and that gets thrown out), worry about bills, and the memory of loved ones lost. Yes, my depression and anxiety does not realise it the holidays and take itself off for a few weeks to Spain.

Andrew and I will have each other and that is all I care about. Mamma G will be cooking and hopefully not too stressed. We will all eat Lottie grown Parsnips (the bestest in the world) and I shall have a glow in my tummy because they taste so good. Our Carrots were a disaster! and we forgot to plant Sprouts (hahaha - oh dear!)

I was at the Lottie by the way. Well I couldn't actually get to it as we bounced down the crater filled road and had to park in a small lake of what looked like cold tea. Turns out that even though I haven't been well enough to go there alone, I couldn't anyway - I would be on my face, the road is so bad it is dangerous. I'm really a bit angry about it. Then, naturally there are people who refuse to listen and will drive their cars right down to their sheds and so the ground is all ruts and pits, ready to catch me out again.

Did I already say Bah Humbug?? No?! Well BAH bloomin' HUMBUG!

I am not going to end this on a sour note, oh no. I have gathered together all my resolve and I am using it to ignore Winter and focus on Spring. Spring shall once again conquer over this season and I shall be reborn. So from me, from Andrew and from Maggie - Happy Holidays and may 2012 bring with it much joy, hope, health and good growing to you all.

I thank you most humbly and most honestly with all my heart for sharing  2011 with me.

 Kisses to everyone xxxx

The hardest post I may ever write

Yesterday was the day that was firmly written in my mental dairy as the day I was going to kill myself, I had everything planned.

I have just had a shower and tried to thoroughly scrub that day off my body, as far as is possible (pity life wasn't so simple). So it is now, sitting with my hair wrapped up in a towel that I come before you. I come to apologise for my utter selfishness, my deplorable weakness.

There are a few people out there that need proper thanks for helping me live and I shall contact you individually; terrified that I may leave someone out I shall not mention any names at all bar that of my darling, my reason for being ~ Andrew.

I promised myself at the outset of this blog that I would not shy away from the truth, that mental ill health and the stigma attached should and would be blown up on my little piece of the web. So you signed up to read my thoughts, share in the adventures and as with any relationship, you have seen me have some great days and some days I'd rather not think about. In return I have been honest, I have spoken out loud what some have feared to say. I hope that this post will also act in that way. For anyone who is low (and let's face it Christmas can be the worst of times for many) I urge you to speak out, even if it is to me, my e-mail is over there on the right. Though naturally I would prefer you talk to a professional.

You are loved and I believe in you, I believe in the beauty of people and the strength of the spirit. I have visited hell and survived.
Namasté

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

***

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

***

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

***

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

So...Winter, we meet again......

I hate it, I utterly hate it, I was not meant to deal with Winter, like a bird I am supposed to fly away to a warmer climate and forever live in Spring/Summer. Yet here I am, cold, miserable, with the heating on and can you believe it - getting the sniffles again!

The lottie is just too water logged to do anything and there is an icy gale blowing through the field away = I would be dying of pneumonia within seconds and Maggie would never forgive me for taking her out there in the first place. Basically, it's just not worth it.

So I have been making flowers (seeing as I can't get to plant any), and reading lots.

Last night I didn't sleep and turned to my current novel 'The Tiger's Wife' by Téa Obreht; this is an adaption of page 92. It spoke to me so powerfully, not in the way it was intended but I thought I would share my version of what is being talked of here; a Tiger in a zoo trying to cope with the noise and confusion of war, bombs and destruction. It is just like me at the moment, trying to cope somehow with my depression.

A grey sun rises and falls each day in what seems like matter of minutes as I sit within the walls of my own private enclosure; strong steel bars seen only by me, mess everywhere that I just can't seem to get on top of. Alone but not; I have the consistent low mumble of that voice behind me urging to be to give up, give in; a deep rumble creating a kind of awareness of my own death. I can neither dismiss it nor succumb to it - it leaves me fragile and constantly exhausted. I am too weary to move, to make a sound, think clearly or react in anyway. Inside, the real me is always screaming. There is so much noise.
What is it that drives me forward everyday, what is it that says ' get up!...it will be okay.....it will be okay'.

******

On a happier note, I was blessed by the gift of another book to read - 'Minding my Peas and Cucumbers', by Kay Sexton. It was sent to me by the ever beautiful Debbie (Ms J) after she had borrowed it from the oh so adorable Flighty. It was a surprise and a heart warming item to receive and I look forward to reading it. I guess that is one thing about Winter - I get to snuggle up and feel miserable joined with everyone else and drink warm drinks and read about other people's adventures. There is always a better world in a good book or at the very least, I feeling that you are never alone.


And with that I must also thank everyone for their comments and emails xxxxxx

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

....though not me.

Things have hit a new low, I'm in a bad way and at the moment I am laying here full of sleepy pills waiting for Andrew to get home and watch over me - the little voice in my head is telling me it's time to say 'goodbye cruel world!'. I may come across as glib but it isn't funny at all and is in fact very frightening.

I still haven't been to the lottie nor do I really give a damn, which when I see it written down like this is a wake up call in itself. I haven't even taken a photograph in almost 3 months. I'm just not right. Though it's not as if I get a hell of a lot of encouragement from my best pal Maggie - she doesn't do rain, hates, the cold and after 20 mins of lottie time without being tickled and fawned over she fakes shivers. Honestly - drama queen!

Oh I can talk the talk if that's what you want. I can tell you that the splendid Mamma G was here last night for dinner and we had a gorgeous meal - all non- lottie stuff though :( However she took one of our huge Jack O'lantern pumpkins home and we're getting pumpkin scones - never had those and I love a good scone, me.

I could tell you how at the market I was praising lotties and growing your own to everyone who looked at a print of mine that had something to do with our plots or produce (of which there are a good few) but it was all an act, frankly I sort of missed the fact that my voice wasn't gone anymore and I am all better from that flu.

*****

I moved  the majority of our gardening books into another more easily accessible bookcase on Friday. I love to see all those spines and think of all the wonderful words and pictures, the effort and love that went into producing each book. I adore the older ones with detailed line drawings and some advice that all gardeners would choke over now, just as much as I love the new books, bright with computer aided design and amazing photography. But I haven't picked up a single one; I feel somehow I don't want to be here next spring anyway.

Of course I will be here next Spring, unless I get run over by a bus, struck by lightening or spontaneously combust - I'm just so bloody stubborn I don't know if I could will myself to death at all!

****

Andrew was at the lottie for a while yesterday and I had 3 hours on my own at the market, it was the first time I'd tried it alone and I coped :) He was really pleased to finally get the weather and some time to work on the Broad Bean bed; sowing some directly into the soil and others into modules. Maybe its that special joy of seeing seedlings poke their tiny vibrant green tips through the soil that I am in need of, a bit of hope.

Like this popular photo that makes some people cry

'Hope in his Hand' - taken at the allotment on the day of the first pea sowing last year.

I'll write again, Andrew has plans and you deserve another one of my (even though I say it myself) truly excellent plans of the plots detailing what needs to change.

Hugs xxx

The Hubby Ventures to the Lottie pt2

So let us continue with Andrew's interview ;)

Usually at this time of year we would both be working our biceps into big powerful 'guns' by doing the soil preparation. When he was there last weekend the soil was absolutely soaking and utterly unworkable in the areas that needed improvement, plus he was too ill to be getting into the heavy work anyway. But you aren't, right? I hope not anyway! So I suggest you get out there and dig, dig, dig, adding in glorious compost and poo and maybe some seaweed if you can get your hands on it. That is what we would love to be doing right now.

He did however tend to the compost trinity ;) Here are photos to prove it! The most rotted one is great sounding and Andrew turned it and added he own special improver to it (secret recipe), so we have half a big bin full and ready to go once we can get ourselves down to work.

The middle bin is decomposting really well and is already half full too and the third bin was filled up to the brim. Composting makes me happy - who on Earth would ever think I would say that! It's true though, I love compost and manure and seaweed more than the average person walking down the street. It's free and it makes everything on the plots so much happier, plus I don't actually do the turning so I never have to smell it whilst it's rotting only after when it just smells good and earthy, hahaha. I do muck in with the manure and seaweed gathering though - much to my shame I have had to go to Tesco afterwards stinking to high heaven!

Even great compost can't guarantee great crops though. I had to ask the question, 'what didn't do so well this year?' And it hurts but you just can't fight everything. This year in particular we suffered under the Leather Jacket - oh how I HATE them. We lost all our asparagus plants to the blighters and they were our 'special treat' crop, you know, the one you grow because you love it so much but just don't want to pay the extortionate prices for it in the shops?? Really once you get Leather Jackets in your soil, say goodbye to all the little friendly worms and your crops. Grrrrr. That whole bed is going to be ripped apart and started afresh.

We also had carrot failure this year for the first time. That has really made me sad as I love carrots and it has become a fun little ritual to go to the lottie on Christmas Eve and get lots of them and some parsnips etc for the Christmas dinners. I think it was simply the horrible weather this year, we have just had rain dumped on us all summer and autumn and the ground never really has a chance to dry out so they all rotted.

Lastly, we failed our fruit bushes and trees, they fell foul to pests and disease yes but we also didn't do enough to help them. We only tried the nematodes once or twice and didn't even cover them up with netting etc.  A lot of out fruit went straight into the mouths of the birds because we simply didn't have the time to get to the plot and collect things. Shame on us, really. I have been punished enough though, not a single blueberry was eaten by me this year and the bushes were so heavy with unripe fruit every time I saw them.....next year!

The hubby ventures forth to the lottie

I am still ill, this is week 4 we're into now and the phlegm just keeps on coming, the cough is really irrating and I am blooming exhausted! Saturday was a glorious Autumn day, the sort that really makes you want to be outside skipping; crisp with deep blue skies and sunshine galore. But of course I had to stay inside and fill a bin with used hankies :(

Andrew though ventured forth to the lottie alone for the first time in weeks as he too has been ill. I decided to badger him into taking photos of everything and then interogated him afterwards so I could feel I was involved. Thus the next few wee updates will come from Andrew but through me :)

Andrew went with the purpose of getting the Garlic planted and harvesting some delicious crops for dinner, we were in desperate need for a homegrown, homemade lottie soup to soothe our souls.

Here is the view of 24a when he arrived. I personally don't think it's too bad after so much neglect just a little weedy and that grass - ggrrrr. Look at those lovley leeks and the chard in the background!

Well I saw a photo of Andrew planting the garlic but I have to put my hands up - like an great big idiot I have deleted it. It was a good photo too, but here is one from after the event where Andrew got some prickily branches and placed them over the bed to try and keep the birds away. I guess it's not a huge stretch to the imagination to think there are garlic cloves under there *shy smile*

Here, this will cheer us all up - a glorious harvest (and my belly is full of these ingredients right now as we have just had our second day of amazing allomtent soup!)

1st Parsnips and Jerusalem Artichokes

 Borlotti Beans

 A beautiful Leek and a Crown Prince Squash :)

And just to make your mouth water even more there was also butter beans, garlic and beef shin - yum!

I shall return with more of the story, more photos, a wee chat about the compost and Andrew's plans and dreams for the lottie :)

hugs

Do you believe in plants?

I desperately need someone to tell me that the ionic Phoenix and the idea behind one rising from the ashes of complete annihilation is true. I am in the pits of Hades my dear reader and have been there for a few weeks now.  I can't even see a sliver of light at the end of this, the longest darkest tunnel imaginable. I'm just taking each breath as it comes.

My depression has spiralled down, almost out of control. I am sure I need not spell it out to you; I have been in the darkest of places and thinking the worst of thoughts about life and the end of it. I tell you this not because I want to shock or gain your attention and love; I tell you this because I received a beautiful email today from someone I don't know, thanking me for writing honestly about my problems. It may sound odd to you, but that email has made me feel real and something of some small value. I thank that person, wholeheartedly x

I have to be honest, it is my way. No amount of Ecotherapy can help me at present and the world outside is been just a dark, grey place, barren of life's wonder and miracles, barren of love, of hope, of purpose. Today I watch the birds with mild interest but it's only to stop me looking at the state of the house and I have taken up my (imaginary) pen to write, to communicate with the world. I hope there is someone out there. I haven't felt this scared to publish a post before.

I am just like that little cherry tree in the garden, buffeted by the wind and swaying dangerously. If it wasn't for that stake in the ground, that support it would never have lasted this long. There is one blossom on it, one little tiny dirty pink dot of hope. I missed the bigger show, my eyes blinded by my emotional disorder.

I don't know where I am going with this, my mind is very confused these days. I think I just wanted to talk, I think I just needed to write this down, write about how I could see the allotment in hell recently and damn all seeds and soil improvement and even blogs. It all sounds like nonsense, this whole Ecotherapy thing. Maybe that is what you think too, I hope, in time, we both rise from the ashes and see the bigger picture.

Until then...namaste.

An Apology

Dear Readers,

I am so sorry I have not been writing this past week. I have the ear/throat infection from the depths of Hades and I am miserable. The medication has me in asleep one minute, in a dazed stupor the next and when it is running out I am in a lot of pain and feverish. I ache all over, even my eyes! Woe, dear friends, is me.

The sun has been out yesterday and today and the weekend is just there, waiting, merely hours away and I am too sore to even have a shower and get dressed. Plus I can't go outside anyway, I am meant to be 'enjoying' complete rest and I can't blasted well talk! (I would weep but it would hurt too much *shakes head sadly*)

Hoping you are well and happy. Get out there and enjoy the Autumn sun, it's such a beautiful rich tone - perfect for photography (again I weep) and get started into that soil; digging it over and getting it conditioned. Seaweed if you can get hold of it and lots of lovely horse/cow poo :)

Sending you love (but not hugs or kisses in case you catch this!)
Carrie xxxx

Pumpkin vs Squash

The issue of Squashes and Pumpkins and which is what causes problems in the otherwise heavenly, perfect marriage of the Gaults. I get it wrong all the time and Andrew is, quite frankly, fed up and worse than that - he is now confused. As we all know Andrew does know his stuff, I am the mere student, so when I annoy him so much that he gets confuddled you know it's bad!

So in an attempt to recreate the harmony in the household I have looked up a few references to discover what the big mystery is..........

What I am so happy to tell you, is I am not alone!! The two are constantly being confused (yay!) due to the fact that 'the two terms have no exact botanical defination' (1). Happy me. Both they and the Gourd are members of the 'Cucurbita' family, the tricky bit comes from the existence of subgroups called pepo, maxima and moschata and differences in the stems.

Cucurbita Pepo
This my friends is the true Halloween scary Pumpkin. A real 'true' Pumpkin. They have hard orange skin that's great for carving and woody deeply ribbed stems. Confusingly this subgroup also includes some marrows, squashes, gourds and courgettes but lets not complicate things.

Cucurbita Maxima
This species 'also contains varieties that produce pumpkin-like fruit but the skin is usually more yellow than orange and the stems are soft and spongy or corky, without ridges and without an enlargement next to the fruit'. Hahaa - I maybe going mad but there are also known varieties in this group that are listed as Pumpkins but aren't really.

Cucurbita Moschata
Now thankfully these ones are easier to identify as they are generally speaking, oblong in shape and less orangy, more tan coloured, think Butternut Squash. 'The stems are deeply ridged and enlarged next to the fruit' in this case. But can you believe it - in your cans of  'Pumpkin' you will be shocked and feel cheated to learn that you are actually buying a 'moschata'. Oh for shame!!!
(Though if you are buying canned Pumpkin then I think you deserve a lie - grow your own!)

This is cute ~ 'Generally speaking a pumpkin is something you carve, a squash is something you cook and a gourd is something you look at'.

*Most of this info and quotes have come from a fabulous website called Aggie Horticulture - thank you
*The first quote comes from Vegetable Expert

Hugs - I'm off to look at Pinterest for interesting Pumpkin carvings - you can check out what I find here

Apples and things to do with them :)

All these gorgeous photographs and recipe ideas can be found on my Pinterest mood board 'Allotment food and drink'. http://pinterest.com/carrie_gault/allotment-food-and-drink/ They are not my own, I really must stress but belong to other blogs.

To find out more about any of them you just click on the photograph, the link embedded within it will lead you to the source page! But for now, just enjoy and imagine what you can do with your apple harvest. Yum

Source: vittlesandbits.blogspot.com via Carrie ~ Cherry Blossom Tattoo on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Carrie ~ Cherry Blossom Tattoo on Pinterest

Source: hatunotblog.com via Carrie ~ Cherry Blossom Tattoo on Pinterest

Source: eggsonsunday.wordpress.com via Carrie ~ Cherry Blossom Tattoo on Pinterest

Not much happening on the lottie these days - so sorry. The weather is just awful, so miserable! But we are still eating gorgeous squashes so that cheers the soul. Next time I'll show you some inspirational squash recipes (I do like the sound of the one above - squash and apple, looks gorgeous!)

Hugs

Hey, only me :)

I feel bad, I haven't been writing much these last days, but then again I haven't had much to say, so...

Happy (belated) World Mental Health Day! (it was on Monday). I hope you are all well and are with me in fighting the stigma of having a mental health illness - there is NOTHING to be ashamed about and we ought to talk about it as openly as say a broken arm. 1 in 4 of us will experience some poor mental health in our lives, it doesn't discriminate, oh no, it cares not what age you are, your social status, your intelligence or believes. Please, if you are experiencing problems or know someone who is - talk about it!

Rant over :)

And incidentally that is why I haven't been blogging - I had a nervous breakdown last week and I still haven't recovered. I am a bloody stubborn girl though and am fighting my way back to some semblance of 'normality', but not with out a lot of support and understanding from my loved ones.

The weather here has been a reflection of my inner turmoil ~ dull, grey, heavy and raining lots. So nothing has been achieved at the plots at all and quite frankly it's all a bit miserable. But on Sunday Andrew did go over and collected all this goodness!! He made a damn fine soup out of it all and it was healing and restorative, not least because we had that wonderful glow inside us that we grew all this!! Isn't it fabulous - garlic, rainbow chard, potato, celeriac, kale of various types, leek, borlotti beans and some of an utterly delicious, sweet pumpkin (Crown Prince). I can genuinely say there was no anti-bacterial cleaner in it though!! Sometimes photos do lie, hahah.

I have heard that it is also National Egg Week and National Chocolate Week - so if ever you needed an excuse, I think we all ought to be eating lots of chocolate sponge cake - you know, to support the cause ;)

This last photo just goes to show how close I have managed to get to any gardening since my breakdown. You have to laugh! This is a pincushion for wearing around the wrist and was made by your truly, especially for one of my bestest friends. Please do contact me if you would like one, hahaha!

Hopefully I shall speak soon xxxxx

Squished and Squashes

Tuesday night - you are so glad you weren't in my house, I had a breakdown. Uncontrollable crying for around an hour and desperate bashing of the noggin with my fist. It could not have been a pretty sight.

Wednesday - managed to get up and onto the sofa. Spent the day unable to speak or walk, think or type, read or listen. I was trapped, squished if you will,  inside a body I couldn't work with and a mind that kept telling me it was time to go. I guess you could say I was in a pretty bad way.

Today - slowly, I managed to get up, feed myself and do some housework :) Then I had a shower and did more housework :) My fingers were able to type the words that my mouth is still struggling so hard to say but at least I can express myself,  plus I did more housework :) I feel better than yesterday and this migraine is a walk in the park :) Plus the house is cleaner - yay go me!! Housewife of the week award.

Knock me down 7 times and watch me as I get up 8 times!

Look what is outside my patio doors  - isn't that a happy sight? This morning it made me smile inside, my face was frozen so you wouldn't have noticed but I was happy. Then this afternoon after all that rain it still made me smile - this time my mouth moved and I am feeling much more human :) Plus in that bed my dearest hubby has planted bulbs - those harbingers of hope!!!

We have snowdrops, crocuses and new to me - Summer Snowdrops!

"What!" you say.

"I know!" says I in return, "snowdrops in summer - yay!"

Pumpkins! (what a wonderful word, I may start using it as a curse word, I use those a lot these days) - okay 1 was stolen but look at all these babies and there are about 3 or 4 more :) I wish I had of drawn on at least one earlier in the year as a commenter mentioned 2 posts ago - genius. Just think, there could be a pumpkin out there smiling back at me, or sticking it's tongue out at me; I LOVE that idea - remind me next year!

Oh and seeds in the post from a lovely friend, Ann. She is very artistic and drew these beautiful floral packages herself! I am seriously impressed. Floral carpet seed bombing shall happen my friends - I will make this place glorious (we live just outside the limits of Eden Village- but we shall have many a bloom!)