We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

....though not me.

Things have hit a new low, I'm in a bad way and at the moment I am laying here full of sleepy pills waiting for Andrew to get home and watch over me - the little voice in my head is telling me it's time to say 'goodbye cruel world!'. I may come across as glib but it isn't funny at all and is in fact very frightening.

I still haven't been to the lottie nor do I really give a damn, which when I see it written down like this is a wake up call in itself. I haven't even taken a photograph in almost 3 months. I'm just not right. Though it's not as if I get a hell of a lot of encouragement from my best pal Maggie - she doesn't do rain, hates, the cold and after 20 mins of lottie time without being tickled and fawned over she fakes shivers. Honestly - drama queen!

Oh I can talk the talk if that's what you want. I can tell you that the splendid Mamma G was here last night for dinner and we had a gorgeous meal - all non- lottie stuff though :( However she took one of our huge Jack O'lantern pumpkins home and we're getting pumpkin scones - never had those and I love a good scone, me.

I could tell you how at the market I was praising lotties and growing your own to everyone who looked at a print of mine that had something to do with our plots or produce (of which there are a good few) but it was all an act, frankly I sort of missed the fact that my voice wasn't gone anymore and I am all better from that flu.

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I moved  the majority of our gardening books into another more easily accessible bookcase on Friday. I love to see all those spines and think of all the wonderful words and pictures, the effort and love that went into producing each book. I adore the older ones with detailed line drawings and some advice that all gardeners would choke over now, just as much as I love the new books, bright with computer aided design and amazing photography. But I haven't picked up a single one; I feel somehow I don't want to be here next spring anyway.

Of course I will be here next Spring, unless I get run over by a bus, struck by lightening or spontaneously combust - I'm just so bloody stubborn I don't know if I could will myself to death at all!

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Andrew was at the lottie for a while yesterday and I had 3 hours on my own at the market, it was the first time I'd tried it alone and I coped :) He was really pleased to finally get the weather and some time to work on the Broad Bean bed; sowing some directly into the soil and others into modules. Maybe its that special joy of seeing seedlings poke their tiny vibrant green tips through the soil that I am in need of, a bit of hope.

Like this popular photo that makes some people cry

'Hope in his Hand' - taken at the allotment on the day of the first pea sowing last year.

I'll write again, Andrew has plans and you deserve another one of my (even though I say it myself) truly excellent plans of the plots detailing what needs to change.

Hugs xxx

Purple Sprouting Broccolli - the results (Plus HAPPY news!)

First off - major big kudos to me, I'm outside, alone! This is the first time I have sat outside at Mamma G's house since we moved here at the end of January. Even before that I hadn't been one for sitting outside at my old home - I feel exposed, and embarasssed and a little paranoid. But here I am and though I can hear grass being cut 2 doors up, the only other sound is that of some very happy birds in the trees and bushes all around Mamma's garden. This is a great garden, a complete sun trap and not over looked, there is also the most beautiful magnolia ever right in front of me and the smell is intoxicating. So, this is what I've been missing.....

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But on to the PSB I hear you cry!

Well, out of a judging panel of 2 (Andy and me) we have thought about this a good bit over the past two PSB dinners we have had.  The first was a fresh baby salad (from the lottie - thinned out salads from the coldframe and the tender pea tips) steamed PSB and spinach and lamb dish on Saturday. Well YUMMMY!

The second was last night (well we wanted this to be scentific!) and saw us eating a butternut squash, bacon and PSB rissioto. YUMMY!!

So the verdict is - PSB may take a hell of a long time to grow, the plants may look like they are dying but then one sweet, sweet day a purple sprout appears and then another and then loads come out all at once. "Hoorah!" you say to yourself and pick some with joy in your heart take it home and eat it right away - heaven. Yes I said heaven for the Gaults offically LOVE PSB and I demand that all negative references to it from myself in the past be withdrawn and also that you grow it too!

It's hard to describe you see and I just want you to experience it yourselves. It's not brassica-y, there isn't any sharpness or bitterness, it isn't overly 'green' tasing - just oh so pleasant on the taste buds. So pleasant.

So there we go.

Verdict 1 - being outside (especially now the lawn mower has stopped) is not that scary really (though  I did take a valium and am sitting right by the door;  it's early days).

Verdict 2 - PSB is fab and though it may look crap as a plant and turns green when you cook it so it looks like normal broccolli sprouts IT IS WORTH IT!

Thank you and good afternoon, I'm off inside now, half an hour is good enough for the first time xxxxx

P.S. Just came in and told Mamma what I had acheived - big bear hugs and giggles all round, I can't stop smiling :) :) :) my cheeks hurt. I need a lie down, hahahaha

The Big Easter Weekend Project

Saturday saw Andrew and I up early! We had to get to the timber merchant before he closed at 12.30 and believe me, everyone in Carrickfergus seemed to have caught the DIY bug. I think I heard once that A&E departments hate Easter because of the all the people suddenly picking up their hammers and saws etc and them running to them bleeding all over the place. Safety first, my friends!!

So we bought timber and went to the Lottie (after a fortifying scone and coffee) to get to work. We'd been planning this project for a while now and the weather was unexpectedly good, there was no time to waste. Well, actually there was...we visited Mamma G on the way, but it was in relation to 'The Project'; 2 old wrought iron gates.

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Holes were dug to receive 8ft vertical posts and then tightly secured into the ground, 2 ft deep - they are going nowhere. Andrew did all that huffing and puffing, I played the vitally important role of overseer and encourager. I also held the spirit level when required. My main job though was using the wire brush to rub off god knows how many decades of flaky paint from the 2 gates! Boy that warms you up alright.

Andrew then was moving on with more timber. When we were making the Fruit Arch a while back, one of the posts broke at the bottom whilst being driven into the ground (there are some BIG rocks a spade's depth or so down) so we had this big piece of wood laying around and then - yes! it was perfect to act as a lintel between our 2 uprights. It this point I went off to talk to Ivan, Andrew likes to work alone.

Back again and my super duper Hubby had cut to length 3 bits of wood to run from just above the shed door over to the lintel - thus making a pergola. Just to see how it would look we put up the gates on the uprights, one on top of the other - we're using them instead of trellis - recycling ahoy!

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Sunday and we were back at lunch time, with sandwiches. Andrew put up all those extra fixings to make sure that a hurricane wouldn't move the darn structure! (We don't get them here in Carrick but better safe than sorry). I started to paint the wood. I had a very dickey tummy and was throwing up into a flower pot so Andrew kindly took over and finished the work. I just sat there feeling sorry for myself and tickling Maggie.

So there you are, our Easter project done. The gate trellis will have a beautiful climbing rose growing up it (Queen Elizabeth ~ shown below) and some wonderful climbing beans, the ones we got free from the council and which are already germinating. It should look lovely.

Mamma G's got 'Grow Our Own' Fever!

I regret to inform you that there was no noseying about on Saturday at other people's plots ~ it was just to bloomin' cold. Maggie had to be taken back up to the car because she just couldn't take the cold winds and we didn't last a great period of time ourselves at good old A24a.

What we did do though was head round to Mamma G's house. She too has been bitten by the Grow Our Own bug and we had decided to make a kitchen garden for her. Very green fingered, Mamma G has grown many types of fruit and vegetables in the past and even had her own Greenhouse for a long time. In recent years she had been growing Strawberries, Herbs, Beans, Apples and Tomatoes (including a variety called Shirley which is her 'real' name) with great aplomb. Now, however it is time to take this a step further.

The patio area has been as such for 20 odd years, so the soil needs some tender loving care to bring it back to it's virile self. Also a very large tree (which I mentioned in reference to it's leaves in the bloggette 'Composting - we LOVE it', 6th November) has just been cut down, as it was ill and now the garden has more light and it's time for a change.

So we cut back some overgrown shrubs and lifted concrete slabs to create 4 nice planting areas, which will eventually be edged and raised in wood. It's yet another exciting wee project for us to get our teeth into and we can do seed swaps etc. I'll let you know how it goes.