Okay, the truth

I hope I have made it really clear that I try to do my gardening as a form of therapy (which I call allotmentherapy and my Dr's have started calling it that too; next stop the Oxford English Dictionary! hehehe); it's a way in which to connect with nature and overcome my depression and anxiety even for a little while. However it is not a panacea! and hasn't been working for me at all recently.

That's why on this blog, you don't get an awful lot of super useful advice about when and how to do this or that, and what varieties of fruit or vegetables are the best (I think that would be very impertinent of me anyway, as you're soil and climate conditions would be different to mine). The joy is finding out what works for you and sharing our trials and tribulations and indeed our successes!

Well the last time I wrote I indicated that I was having problems and since then those problems have gotten worse. Our allotment gardens are so neglected, so huge, wind swept and honestly, just depressing. That is, they are to me and have been for a few good weeks or, let's be truly honest here...months. I haven't even been reading other blogs on gardening never mind thinking about this one for which I have so much love. Andrew has been the one going and trying to stay on top of harvest gluts and bolting veg whilst also trying to guide me through this deeper period of depression. Poor guy.

So today I went. It was damp and empty and we just about got some jobs done before the sky starting crying (lol). Harvesting, composting the sweetcorn, now finished, and a general tidy up. I think that hour was enough for me and I could not cope being on 14b, the sooner we move things out of there and just train our focus on one half plot, the better.

Super quick update
Our kidney bean shaped bench had been stolen :( But the Green Beans are still going strong (I'll talk about them in another post), the parsnips look really healthy, the amount of squashes is smashing, we are getting blueberries (praise be to Zeus, finally) and raspberries and our apples, plums and pears are all....weird (like secret underground layer genetic experiment kind of weird!) Everything else is just ticking along super-ly apart from some of the chard which is bolting but c'est la vie....

I really need to take many more photos but, I guess it will take time...

I've been through these periods many times before and I bounce back so I hope you will stay around and maybe even say hello. A huge thank you to those of you who have sent private emails too! I have been waiting for the right things to say but as each day goes by and I still don't feel quite myself, I fear I have become rude...

Namaste friends and may you be having a better time than me and fond memories of the summer just passed.

If I were a horse I'd be shot by now

Pretty Dahlia in the back garden

I am miserable. Sorry to say. Yes another day of panic and self hatred, not quite off the scale but about 7/10, maybe 8. I feel so low and even though the sun is shinning is feels like it is doing so merely to mock me. I am eating chocolate with green tea and ginger in it 'for wellness', it also tastes bloody gorgeous.

Things got so bad last night that we eat a take away Chinese meal for dinner! Our fridge is bunged full with lovely fresh lottie produce but the big cloud offer this house causes a feeling of depression to all who enter at the moment. There has been a serious case of the 'I can't be bothereds'.

So, yep, we have a bean glut and tonight I guess we need to do something about it. So, just in case you aren't too sure how to go about freezing yours, allow me to refresh your memory, or indeed just plain tell you.

Runners and French Beans :

Top and tail them all, then cut them lengthways so you have 2 long thin bits, then throw them into boiling water for about 2mins, not any longer. Remove from pot and lay them out to cool. Then stick them in a freezer bag.

We were very silly and didn't do this with them all last year , some were just thrown in bags and into the freezer = some de-frosted bags of very limp, slimy beans, not nice!

And while we're on the subject, here's a load of Piccalilli Andrew made with a glut of courgettes. I HATE pickley things and vinegar - yuck! But this is supposed to be gorgeous, and that isn't just Andrew saying that, other reliable sources have tasted some of his mustardy concoction.

I got him the recipe here, at www.growveg.info. As with all chutney type recipes you can change it to fit your needs.

Piccalilli

2kg./4lb. mixed veg (including cauliflower florets, chopped cucumber,pickling onions and small French beans)(I have used courgette or gherkins instead of cucumber)

25g./1oz.salt

25g./1oz flour

25g./1oz dry mustard

900ml./ 1 1/2pints malt vinegar (I use pickling vinegar if I can get it)

30ml./2 tablespoons turmeric

4 chillis, chopped (I use red for a bit of colour and heat)

50g./2oz sugar

Spread the vegetables in a large, shallow dish and sprinkle over the salt. Set aside for 24 hours, then drain off any liquid and rinse in cold running water. Set aside to dry.Mix the flour and mustard, turmeric to a paste with a little of the vinegar. Put the remaining vinegar and the remaining ingredients into a saucepan and bring to the boil. Stir in the vegetables and flour mixture and bring back to the boil. Simmer for 15 mins or until thick. Set aside to cool . Pour into sterilized jars and seal.

Makes about 2kg./ 4lb. piccalilli

Hugs to all xx