The cat is out of the bag

The sun is out, by Zeus, the sun is out! 

I was just outside with Toby and we both just seemed instantly happier; *disclaimer - we were both asleep 30 mins ago and I awoke rather glum and still feeling defeated. BUT the back of the house gets the sun and all the song birds and it's almost like heaven out there. So here I am writing at the dining table (that never happens), surrounded by bits of vacuum cleaner and rubber gloves etc supposed to be doing housework - but stuff that!

I have no news from the weekend - it was a minefield of mental health disasters and I stepped on every one. BUT today I received a 'Buddy Box' in the post - Andrew keeps surprising me with them - and it was full of things so pertinent to what we are up to next month that I have decided to spill the beans.

We are walking The Hadrian's Wall Path, all 84 miles of it!

It's going to be a huge challenge and I am trepidatious at moment alright, but we are doing it, one step at a time. It's all been arranged for months now and as the days draw closer we are building up our walking, mid-week and hopefully every weekend from now on.

Andrew knows the route, every twist and bend, every pub to stop at along the way, the large Roman sites and even the emergency exits if I can't take it any more. He has even sorted out my wardrobe for me and has the days planned so there is plenty of time for resting and letting the old brain take it all in, and the double vision settle a little.

We are doing this for ourselves, it's our Summer holiday but I would also just like to put it out there that I would like very much to raise some money for The Blurt Foundation along the way. In time I will have a 'go fund me' page and if you have a spare quid (dollar, euro etc) it would be phenomenal if you could help me out. 

Blurt is not associated with any religion, government body or charity - it's just an awesome social media movement that aims to help everyone learn and understand about depression and other mental health issues in a friendly and empathetic way. It has helped us so much this past year and especially me. It empowers me to practice self care, to not be so damn ashamed all the time and to speak my truth.

Oh I have so much to share with you about the path, our plans, our kit etc. There will be a lot of beautiful hiking days to blog about before then though and I guess I need to focus on that first!

Love and hugs

Carrie

P.S. We have our seed compost at the ready and shall be getting started soon - eeek!

Slieve Guillion Forest Park (first visit)

As I sit here typing these very words I can feel Toby glaring at me from his bed; he's just had a bath. We went for a wee hike on Sunday and, well, he does love to pick the muckiest routes = he needed a bath. Ooh, he just looked away from me there and growled quietly, haha.

Andrew and I were caught deep in clinomania on Sunday and though we had meant to get up with the larks and go to Co. Armagh, but we, er, didn't. Such a cosy bed, such heavy eyelids....time passed swiftly and then, boom, it was 10am. Our gear all ready downstairs and our clothes laid out we shoved some breakfast down and out we went.

Only an hour or so away we came to our destination of Slieve Gullion Forest Park. The massive car park was full bar one space for us and on site there was a nice cafe = coffee! We decided that as the park closed at 5pm we couldn't do our desired hike but we could walk up to the mountain and check the terrain for the next time. I had my new camera so we took it easy and Andrew was very patient whilst I grabbed my shots and tried to get comfortable with its settings.

(Sorry, no photos of the fairy village or the giant's liar as it's bloomin' hard to get a shot when there are so many crazy excited kids around! The link above has great pics of that put of the park.)

Remember: click photos to enlarge 😊

Gorgeously clear and freezing cold little spring/ Andrew and Toby being careful with all the cars around /Cut down tree with moss and ivy

Tiny but bright lichen/  Rust and old wood with moss = joy/ Cute mass of pine cones

The view south over County Louth and Dundalk Bay in the distance /  Lonely pine cone

*****

Above was written on Wednesday - it is now Friday morning so I reckon it's time to finish this, and put some photos in, hahaha.

Plus I have a date with Toby again as he needs a hair cut today, he has no idea at present and he is already in a bad mood with all the cars and my David Bowie music stopping him from snoozing. Lucky I have treats and cuddles to offer.

Hugs and love, have a great weekend!
Carrie xx

Soil and clouds

From the dark cold earth to the misty white clouds, the last weekend in January saw the first of our visits to the Allotment and the first hike of the year. What a year we have planned as well! The allotment is going to get some serious loving and our wee legs are going to do some serious walking - my new camera was gifted to me at just the best of times.

With renewed vigour we intend to smash this year of 2018 into shape and make a heck of a lot of good memories while we're at it. Of course there shall be the usual mental health monsters to slay each day but we can do this together and I am not ashamed to fail (now and then). It's the year of learning self care, exploring new places and of the rebirth of our wee plot. The 10th year of plot holding; the 20th year of us being in love.

* That 1st visit *

okay, it was very bleak but not too bad looking, right?

It wasn't as horrendous as we had feared - virtually no winter storm damage and the weeds had not succeeded in conquering every last inch of soil. Plus the shed was still there.

We had to plant our garlic and luckily the 'Andrew of November past' had thought ahead and left an area covered over in black membrane = gorgeous weed free soil to plant into.

back to basics - remember to plant your cloves a good hand span apart and not too deep

I found signs of hope all around our little half plot and here are just three ...
- the glint in Toby's eye (plus he was very good and quiet)
- new buds on the apple trees
- gorgeous red blueberry buds

And I was able to harvest leeks too, we have loads that I had forgotten about.

**********

* That 1st hike* 
Sunday started out so bad but there came a little moment in the afternoon where I just had to grab life by the shoulders and take control. I ran upstairs and got dressed; we left the house before I could even think about changing my mind. Off to Ballyboley Forest for a walk, in the rain. We literally drove up and up into the clouds and then walked inside them, it wasn't the most pleasant visit ever.

a very damp walk indeed and some shocking deforestation (forest service owns this area)

Andrew has a cool app on his phone that records all our hikes :)

It wasn't a long walk by any means but it was a good start after the holidays and all the sickness and snot we'd suffered. I had not thought clearly in my rush and thus had jeans on which got soaked and left me freezing but other than that we all kept good pace and took photos as well. Toby was just running back and forth all over (he walks at least twice as far as we do) but always came back when called - good boy.

So very glad I managed to get this published before the end of the month - though you can ask Andrew, I have been cussing away at the photo app I have to us - I'm always wanting to be better at everything.

Got your potatoes yet? We got Sharp's Express again - what's you favourite???

Love and hugs
Carrie

Beach treasure and hallucinations

It wasn't a 'good' mental health day but Andrew managed to get myself and Toby out the door for a mini adventure on Saturday and in the end I was glad :) We went for a drive along the famous Causeway Coastal Route, I really wanted Toby to experience Maggie's favourite beach in Cushendun. Plus we just love the drive, any wonder it's TripAdvisor's highlight for 2018.

On the way we stopped off at Glenarm Castle tearooms. It was the first time I'd been since the extension and the addition of other small businesses. It's a beautiful place to celebrate my leaving the house and I had cake for lunch 🙂. Our food was delicious and we even had a second coffee each (personally I needed it to keep me going, boy I have been constantly exhausted these past weeks).

I picked the cafe table and instantly got out my new wee camera to have a play around. With views of the kitchen garden right next to me, how could I not? What an idyllic scene and what a lot of gorgeous mulch they had! Tractors were needed - so jealous. I wished we could go out and really have a good poke around but it's not open until St. Patrick's day.

Onwards to Cushendun and the lovely beach there. I think this is one of my all time favourite wee villages and I love it's beach; we see so many lovely people, friendly dogs and even horses on it. The village also has a resident goat that is usually tied up by the bridge beside a monument erected to all the poor animals that had to be put down due to the foot and mouth disease in 2002. Plus it has a wonderful very old pub - Mary McBrides.

Toby loved the beach, just as I hoped and it was beautifully clean as always, besides the seaweed from the recent big weather. He ran about all over the place and was a very good boy, until the very end when we were walking back to the car, at this point he ran up to a lady and bashed into her leg head first. He is a little crazy sometimes, hahaha.

We did find some little pieces of sea-glass that we see as treasure, it's always been a fun pursuit. Andrew also found a mysterious plastic animal...a giraffe or maybe a seahorse. We took it home anyway.

On the way home we had chips in the car, all of us - Toby loves a good chip.

As for the hallucinations, well how about these during this week.... Sheep in the street and grazing on the neighbours grass and this, a bumblebee in the back garden! A bumblebee in January and he had pollen on his legs which I can only assume came from the little box hedge flowers.

We are determined to at least look at the allotment in the flesh this weekend, no matter the weather!

My love and hugs
Carrie

like tears in the rain

Today marks the anniversary of Toby's adoption  - he's been with us a whole year!

I think it's also very apt that it's world mental awareness day for without this bundle of fur, this sock stealer, I have a feeling I wouldn't be here.

Right now he is in his daily daytime position - squished up against me and sleeping away (with one eye open, in case there are strangers outside). He knows I'm a mess - I haven't showered yet and talking is hard and playing is too energetic - yet he loves me anyway. Though to be fair, I'm the only one here and I do gave immeasurable amounts of hugs, kisses and scratches behind those ears. 

Toby loves life, lives it fully and with such enthusiasm but he also knows how to sleep, to rest hard. He never has shame in asking for attention and has no qualms about giving and receiving all the love. He lives in the now, forgives with grace and snores without shame!

He gets me up everyday when all I want is to hide under the duvet. I open the blinds for him to see out and I step into the world (briefly) a few times a day to make sure he, umm, toilets.

He's the glue that holds me together until Andrew comes home from work. And then the fun and giggles can really begin.

**************

I'm just one of many many people out there whose thoughts are turned towards World Mental Health Day today. I sure as heck don't feel good today, but in honour of all those for whom even writing a blog post is just too much - please support those in need.

Be an ear that listens (no judgement!), a shoulder to cry on or a mate that just treats their ill friend just the same. All of which Toby does in his wonderful and unique way xxx

Love
Carrie

#worldmentalhealthday

Toby turns One!

It was my canine baby's first birthday yesterday - he is 1 and I can hardly believe it. 

He has come so far from that tiny black puppy that only owned a box on that drive to the pet store (where we bought everything) and fought with the leaves in the back garden in his first week. Wow, he was feisty even then...

 I've wondered many a time weather I should be this 'human'. I don't cope well with life in general and am very often a bad playmate; sometimes that saliva covered chipmunk toy is just too annoying and squeaky, haha . Plus I don't take him for those nice walks and picnics at the allotment, that I dreamt off, I simply can't go out alone. 

But I wash and groom him. I play until he's tired, give him treats and brush his beard. I allow him up on the sofa and even under my blanket to sleep with him every afternoon. And try to reassure him of 'scary' outside noises and stranger danger that his sees in everyone who walks by the windows.

He gives me motivation to get out of bed everyday and can tell when it's a bad time and either plays quietly alone, snoozes with one eye on me or allows me to cuddle him so close.

Yesterday, was stung by a wasp and he was very unhappy for a while. But his other man human had bought special dinners and treats and boy did he chomp it all down once his lip pain eased off.

WE LOVE you Toby - here's to many more birthdays!!!

Carrie xx

Echlinville Apple Harvest

Today's post is brought to you with the assistance of a damned good nights sleep, coffee and the sweet, sweet joy of having just finished cutting Toby's hair. He didn't enjoy the experience but then neither did I; though he feels great now, a whole lot lighter and after my shower, I do too. So everything has balanced out I think...apart from the fact that I had to do all the cleaning up and he went to bed.

Before and After (arrghh those eyebrows!)

It was my first shower in some days... I know what you're thinking - "ewwww, she's gross!" - I have been super ill and too depressed, too wobbly on my feet and too tired to shower. If you have experienced poor mental health you'll understand.  In fact I'm going to add links in this post and at the side of this blog to two fabulous websites I recently found that are helping me feel supported in my fight - you might like them too, you know who you are xxx

The Blurt Foundation ~ https://www.blurtitout.org/

The Mighty ~ https://themighty.com/

****

So, anyway let's celebrate the apple harvest! Hurrah! On Saturday I was the lucky one to gather up the bounty from our 2 espaliered Echinville trees, tied into each side of the archway at the back of the plot. The birds had gotten through about half of them now and I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, though we had been told that they are ripe in September; it seems that August is more correct.

Remember these are historic Northern Irish trees, click here for the story :) 

Here's the haul we took home and the very bad ones that went into the compost. I also left about half a dozen on the ground for all the wasps and insects that were feasting on them.

Now we are slowly processing them and freezing batches. So far we have used 20 apples and made two big freezer bags of porridge topping/ apple pie filling. Just by stewing the apples and adding mixed fruit and brown sugar (to taste). Easy and so delicious!

PLUS today is the 9th anniversary of this very blog - hurrah!

Thank you to everyone who reads and especially those commentators and 'likers'. I never did intend for this to be public, but back then I had no idea what I was doing, haha. It's been one of the best decisions (if you can call it that) that I've made, though I still don't know about the title....

Big love
Carrie
xx

Getting summery on the plot

Welcome to June dear friends! It's a fabulous month for us Gaults ~ it contains our Wedding Anniversary and Andrew's Birthday, so there is much celebrating to be done and a few glasses of bubbles to be toasted 😄.  Hopefully we'll get some nice weather too unlike today which has been dull and heavy with rain.

So let's look back to last Saturday when the heavens smiled upon us and we spent a nice time at the allotment, enjoying the sun, the new seedlings and planting things out. What was especially nice was this beautiful rose opened up by the shed.

Puts a smile of your face seeing that first thing and then turning the corner and seeing our beautiful, healthy potatoes look smashing - darn it, it made us glad to be there.

These are Sharp's Express in four big black pots that a kindly plot neighbour gave to us. We love growing them in pots; it saves room, we can afford them more protection and the best growing medium, it's easy to earth them up with more compost and boy are they ridiculously easy to harvest. We're all about efficiency and ease!

When I was sitting on the bench by them I noticed flowers and the intricate beauty of the humble spud leaf.

So here are the new plants we brought with us to get settled into the ground:

• garlic chives and uchiki kuri winter squashes
• dwarf bean borlotto and climbing french bean cobra

A couple of the squashes went to our black pot friend and then he gave us a Japanese squash in return! Andrew was surprised and pleased - look at his wee face, haha.

I walked about with my camera and here's some pics on 14b, yep, I was still emotionally involved.

We've pretty much taken all we can, even the black weed suppressing membrane and the gravel and wooden edging. Oh it's such a sad sight - look at those little box hedging plants and the rhubarbs etc..

There were a great many plum poppies on display and the orientals have bloomed now too, in the middle of this collage are the first damson fruits. Out of everything the most I want to try and save a bit of, at least, is that purple poppy. But that's it, now I shall focus on 24a.

So back over to our real plot and I have to show you the garlic and broad bean signs Andrew etched onto slate we had lying around the place. I love them and he's promised more 😀...

And thinking of the broad beans - we had a green fly infestation starting which lucky I spotted whilst taking these photos. They were swiftly and brutally attacked with our soapy water in a spray bottle. Ha! Victory shall be ours. Funnily the broad beans planted in situ are much darker, stockier and healthier looking than these ones and aren't that far behind.

die greenfly, die!

Dwarf borlotto beans where planted under the supervision of Toby. Goodness the soil is great this year, so rich, friable and even with a few worms; the whole no dig principle is excellent and we highly recommend it! Check out Charles Dowding if you don't practise it yourself. These beans are off to a good beginning and I learnt that they are planted a trowels width away from each other.

There was more going on but I fear this post is getting too long so I shall leave my story here for now (the sweetcorn, squash and seedlings will wait) . Here's a beautiful honeysuckle for you, from beside the wooden bench, beside the potatoes where Toby also happened to be having a good time.

Hugs,
Carrie

Growing, always

It was a very tentative step I took to the allotment today. It's been a while, as you know, and my nerves were on tender hooks.

Ecotherapy works and is (with yoga and the joy of novels) my light in the ever present darkness. However the interpretation of the word Ecotherapy has changed recently for myself; the world of hiking, passively immersing in nature has been my life recently.

I have grown a lot this year with hiking and a walk now has to be over 13 miles to feel good. Only a week ago I completed the northern half of The West Highland Way with my hubby. We walk together and it has strengthened our relationship and sense of adventure. (We're already planning a return to do the whole damn thing soon!)

Two of about 200 photos from our Scottish adventure :)
follow my Instagram for many more

Toby comes on many of the walks and become a strong and manly little dog (9mths old now). He was with Andrew at the allotment during the week - how wonderful to have another pup sitting  and playing where our fabulous Maggie did.

Toby! 

So, back to today and it went great 😊. It was quiet and the weather nice, we had a picnic for dinner and got lots done. Toby didn't do too bad and met a new friend.

what I did - clearing a lot of weeds and unwanted raspberries.

I'll write more later but for now I'm just going to re-share this RSPB link to making a birdhouse. I do this is hopes that you will consider giving it a go. I did it a few years ago and was so happy with mine and the many babies it held each year until now - someone only went and bloody stole it!

Love and hugs from a tired me,
Carrie x

Hiking Tollymore

There are days when everything just aligns perfectly and a hike is the only thing worth doing. On Saturday the sky was bright (if not occasionally blue!), the wind was gentle and the temperature a just-comfortable-no-coat-necessary degrees.

On the flip side (there's always a flip side) I had had a terrible nights sleep, was up early and feeling so heavy and there's an hours drive to get to our hiking point = snoozy, stiff and slightly grumpy me. I fatigued very quickly this time and my yoga injury of a recently strained hip reflexor played up big time. So I was in agony. And forgot my painkillers - stupid, silly girl.

But I thought I'd share some photographs of the beauty we were blessed to witness. Toby had the best time ever and was rewarded with a while off lead in a quiet part of the forest. Andrew used some new pieces of equipment so he was happy and I finished and didn't die = excellent day all round 😃

This is a little example of the walk up to the Forest, these paths are part of many different official walks including the Ulster Way, The Newcastle Way, St Patrick's Pilgrim Trail and The Mourne Way! It's lovely here with a great looking Scout Camp and many different styles of houses and farm animals. For those, who don't know gorse - it's the yellow spiky hedges that are all over Ireland and the flowers smell of coconut = yum.

And so, into the Tollymore Forest Park. I love this place and seeing it slowly come back to life is so exciting; just look at the vibrancy of the new pine needles and the ferns coming alive. We had a wee sit down on a log for a look over at the Mournes which we have been climbing amongst a good bit. Then back into the cover of some deciduous conifers.

This was our lunch stop, quite a few hours and miles later. We found this lovely clearing right on the edge of the park land with a sweet sounding river, that lovely bridge and a farm (with two Shetland ponies) to watch. Toby had his log and we had ours, the ground was littered with bark, mosses, lichen and what looked like hyacinth bulbs (or bluebells?) coming through. Above us was the perfect split between evergreen and deciduous conifers with a little blue sky.

Between lunch and the river we passed through a lot of clearing of trees, large areas of different varieties had been cut down and were stacked really for sell as lots. This the the start of the arboretum area too so there were some lovely surprises such as eucalyptus and rhododendrons. I was starting to feel the searing pain of my strained hip around now and was thankful for the car park and benches we eventually arrived at. Here you can see some of the old pretty walls from when there was a large house here, there are also Game of Thrones plaques (and often groups dressed up) and the large forest park map. But really that view was all that mattered. Then we walked down in to the riverside.

The water of the Shimna River is beautifully clear and fast running and these stepping stones are famous in our wee country. Andrew had little water left so he decided to try out his new(ish) water filter here. It was better than the first time, which was filtering peat water, this was lovely and a little sweet. Toby just stood by like a little trooper and was soon deemed good enough to go off lead for a while. He went a little bonkers at first running back and forth but soon settled into a pattern of walking a little ahead then stopping to wait for us.

I didn't take many interesting photos on the way back, as we joined up with the same trail that brought us into the forest. It was a lot of up hill walking (followed by long descent) my my hip was killing me and I felt sorry for myself. But we did get to see a lovely sunset utterly alone and with only a bird or two singing away. As we eventually arrived back at the car there were bats over head (I love that!). 

And on to dinner accompanied with a wee beer (for medicinal reasons of course).

Thus another 13 miles under our belts in preparation for the West Highland Way next month.

Hugs and love
Carrie x

Pushing the boundary (full version)

Sometimes you really have to wake up and grab the day by the shoulders and give it a damn good shake. Saturday was one of those days, a day to be used to the max, to have an adventure and to be content, proud and a bit sore in the evening. We decided to walk the new Boundary Trail at Castle Ward (Co. Down).

We had been to the same National Trust site the Saturday before and taken Toby on his biggest walk yet - a whole 3-ish miles. Remember he's only little and he met other dogs and was attacked by one off lead (grrr) so it was a huge experience for him. (He was ok - Andrew lifted him high and I grabbed the dog by the collar, it was strong!) However that walk also included a picnic at The Temple which he loved. He was pretty wrecked after that walk but came round really fast. 

So.. Saturday last, well we pushed further, a heck of a lot further. Twice as far and a bit more, that kinda further. Toby walked with us for 7+ miles, what a trooper.

The Boundary Trail is lovely, a genuine surprise in its glory and varied landscapes. We didn't start down at the proper place as we parked in the main car park. So we started off with a walk we do often, down through the farm yard, along by the millpond flat Strangford Lough, up past Audley's Castle round the back of the walled garden. These are all Game of Thrones filming locations and is not rare to see fans and tours about.

Then we took a right turn instead of a left! Wonderful, we ended up in the farmland of rolling drumlins, the old estate boundary wall by our side and stunning views. (But I forgot to take any photos - I'm a wally I know!) There weren't any cattle about so Toby wasn't a threat and the new paths and fields are separated by electric fencing. Plus our dog was on a fecking lead!

After a good while we walked into a lovely little forest. The Mallard Plantation, the name of which doesn't make sense until the end where one sees the water and hears the ducks. This was maybe my favourite part of the walk, after all the gravel paths we were now on soft ground  in amongst the trees and ferns with light streaming in strongly only here and there.

After a spell on a proper road we re-entered more woodland, much more open and newly cleared for the path. By now we were really in our stride and not many photos were taken at all. Andrew had to declare tea time as I get a bit forgetful and just plod on for miles, forgetting to take a break, eat, drink, breathe. Hiking is such a beautifully passive experience were all I think about is the trail, no bad thoughts, no hurtful emotions. But I do need to look after my body, so yay! for sensible Andrew.

Right pic below : the trees on the far ridge are were the other side of the boundary wall is, we walked quite far.

We sat on some logs, had lemon and ginger tea and a lemon cupcake. Haha, how fancy of us. Then we ate a fabulous trek bar each; they're like a meal packed with energy rich foods like prunes, nuts, chocolate etc. Toby had his kibble and a big drink.

Then up and away (all rubbish came with us) and  10 minutes on we came to the viewpoint. Wow! That was pretty darn beautiful but we couldn't stay longer, the sun was going down! And it was cold, brrr.

More of a gorse and bushes landscape now and we were walking fast. This whole place would be heaven in the spring, there were primrose and bulb leaves all around and of course we ended up back in deciduous forest which I so look forward to going back to with all the bright greens everywhere.

Here, near the end of the mystery trail we could see the grand driveway into the estate on the left and this sunset to our right.

 Oh poop! We had to use our phone torches to walk through another forest bit and there were scary bird sounds at every turn. Wow, the world is a different place in the dark and boy it was pitch black without our specks of light!! This wood must have been evergreens as the smell was delicious and our foot steps silent.

Thank goodness for fairy lights and Santa visiting the big house. We could use these lights strung all the way along the fence to get back to the car park and see (and be seen by) the other people and cars on the road too.

Toby by this point gave up, he began to heave as though he would be sick and Andrew had to carry him. What a trooper, he's never walked so far in his life and almost made it the whole way! So proud, he wanted down again after a minute and was fine again. Boy did he sleep on the way home all evening and night and Sunday 

I really wanted to take him to see Santa but it was pre-booked -  human children only - bah humbug. Haha.

So that was that, sorry I posted a tiny draft version before. We all make mistakes and let's face it I was pooped when I tried to do that post on the Sunday.

Hugs and wishes for good health and thoughts of brighter, warmer days. 

Happy Winter Solstice 

C xx