Wednesday evening and most of yesterday was a horrendous time for me - I have suffered yet another 'episode' were life seems pointless, were I hear that voice in my head telling me I really ought to 'go', that I have outstayed my welcome at the party and that I shall never be happy again. It has been devastating and incredibly difficult, especially the periods were I just cannot speak or move and am simply rigid and elsewhere in my mind, lost. My own company has not been good for me and even now I am a little uncomfortable being up alone.
I am so fortunate that Andrew's job requires him to be out and about so he was passing the house yesterday and was able to answer my distressed phone call. Then after a meeting I was put in the car and taken with him whilst he visited a very old church site. He collected unopened ripe conkers for me; I love to prise that coat off them. We had a quick dinner on the way home and then went straight to the allotment together.