Friday, 27 May 2011

You are going to be so proud of me :)

I WENT TO THE LOTTIE ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!

More to come after I have a much needed shower and a warm drink and a think about what I have just done! Eeekk - this is so huge. So look out for part 2 were there will be photos to prove it ;) and have a drink on me tonight everyone xxxxx

LATER...
So you want proof? Course you do, no one believes anything these days and I need to have a record of this myself to save forever. The nerves have really kicked in now and I can't quite believe I am writing this post either. I just seemed to do it, without thinking. I still had the t-shirt on that I had worn to bed, threw on my jeans, old trainers that were in the kitchen and my fleece and plonked my headphones on. Maybe I owe a debt of gratitude to Adele and her album 21 - seems she got me there and back.

Let's upload those few photos I remembered to take....


I remember stopping here where I do in my dreams - I never get further than this in my dreams - and thinking 'sod it' and walking on, my legs shaking and making me meander a good bit (god people may have thought me drunk *blush*).  There were people dear goodness, there were people, a whole family right there at the first plot, Adele kindly sang away to me and I just concentrated on the pot holed road, trying to stay balanced. I guess that means I looked drunk and very anti-social *double blushes*
 
It took an age to get to my shed and then the camera came out again....
In my bag I had a Mason jar and a pair of scissors and I cut one of the stems of my dusky pink/peach rose - a trophy.
Then took a few photos, quickly mind you..... First Oriental Poppy, first Purple Poppy opening and ohhhh some lovely Ranunculus.
Then home, my legs like jelly, as my stomach is now. I had done it and didn't get run over either on that crazy Beltoy Road where people just go mad and stomp the foot down on the accelerator.
 
I think I'm honestly in shock at the moment - but I know I am happy too :) I've definitely taken a massive nose dive and feel so depressed I could cry and so panicky I could, well, I could, I can't finish this sentence properly - THAT panicky.

20 comments:

  1. Yay!!!! This calls for a celebration. I shall get the wine in (any excuse ...) Seriously though, nice work! Lauran x

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  2. Lauran - Wine for me too tonight :) xxx

    Beth - I KNOW :D xx

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  3. Yeeeaah! You go girl! I'm so proud of you! I'll have a class of Melot on your behalf.

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  4. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, Carrie!!!!!!!
    And now... do you know what that is you are feeling, sweetie??? It's YOU knowing that you CAN do it... not just once, but again and again!!!!! When we do something we thought we wouldn't be capable of, first thing that happens is we are in SHOCK... ME???? ME could do THIS???? ME... being so brave???
    YES YES YES YES YES Carrie!!!!!
    Those shaky legs are just telling you that you CAN do it. You did it, you're alive, you are showing us pictures!!!!!!

    Thank you for your wonderful comment on my post about the Sea Goddess ring: it's words like yours that keep me going!!!!!

    xoxo

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  5. Yay!

    Well done you! And well done the Lottie for being there for you to walk too :-)

    Celia
    x

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  6. That's brilliant Carrie. I'll be telling my sister about it as she suffers in the same way as you. It may encourage her to know that you can break the deadlock.

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  7. A huge step forward, scary though it may be, but well done!

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  8. Well done i too suffer with the same problem which i have for over 18 years. I have bought a dog who i will hopefully take on a walk on my own one day soon.
    All the best. Joanne xx

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  9. One of my books - Claire Weeks? - says - jelly legs will get you there, if you let them.

    And you have got a cut flower from your cutting garden ;~) one of the ones you couldn't bear to cut because they look so good ;~)

    People - as my husband says - I'm so glad I'm not people!

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  10. Thank you Vetsy - hope it was super tasty, cheers!!!

    Annuk I just love you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Celia - Oh your beans/peas are looking good, photos to come :)

    Sue - oh I would be honoured if something I wrote about could help someone else. This is way I am so painfully open. My best wishes to your sister xx

    Kavey - Thank you, hugs galore being sent your way xxx (oh and welcome!)

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  11. Joanne - you are safe here and I too have a little dog that helps immensely. Fight on with me xxxx

    Diana - I'll have to look up Claire Weeks, I slept all day afterwards and my legs are so sore but darn it I did it :) The flower and bud are beautiful and are in the hall so I see them all the time, smiling at me xxx

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  12. Carrie girl that is totally amazing!
    Well done YOU ! .. sometimes just doing something without thinking about it is just the ticket to get it DONE ! and having pictures to prove it is perfect .. you did GOOD !
    What a beautiful rose and your poppies have bloomed while ours are just knuckle heads still .. haha
    We are having Irish weather .. rain, rain and a little more rain with a dose of cool temps .. but the garden still grows ever so slowly ..
    My goodness I am still in shock that you were able to do this girl!
    You are a little trooper : )
    Joy

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  13. Well done :) I love the idea of your trophy flower. I had wine anyway last night but i shall raise a glass to you tonight. Mo

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  14. Great stuff Carrie, well done. Good album choice, I just have track#1 on repeat.

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  15. Carrie,

    You did it, you did it, you did it!!!!

    I loved how you made a celebration of it and took pictures. Now...remember to look at them the next time you think you can't do something because they are proof that you CAN:~)

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  16. i'm so proud of you!! (and i need to just give in and buy adele's "21" already...)

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  17. massive smiles all round and big thank yous xxx

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