Monday, 24 January 2011

tilling the soul part 2

Okay after a couple of sedatives a scone and a good cry I felt better. Many thanks to Lynda, Mo and Andrea for their comments too - it did help to let it all out.

My support worker came today to take me out and I did two things that have made me feel more positive, I know it won't last long and that isn't me being a pessimist; I can already feel the exhaustion kicking in and the anger at the mess of the house now I have returned. But I must write now - I have to share these ok moments too. It's strange really when you think about it, it can take just one small action (an e-mail from an angel who shares her story and gives you strength, Maggie sneezing, a text from Andrew..) that changes your lookout just long enough to plant a seed of hope and let you know, deep down, that you will make it to this evening, that you aren't going to fall into that bottomless pit of despair, that you shall live.

Number One - Eimear and I went into Carrick and I put another £10 of lose change into the bank - that's another tenner closer to France in September and something tangible that I can look forward too as I see the little pot of holiday money grow fatter :)

Number Two - I bought Andrew the winter flowering Cherry tree he has wanted from the local nursery and got a big ribbon put on it as a surprise. Here it is:
 
Maybe not the best tree you've ever seen in all your puff but under Andrew's care and tutelage it will be a stunner in a couple of years time. I sneaked a peak at his Black Moleskine to make sure I knew the right name and got Roberta (the owner) to help me - it's fun buying someone you love a gift you know they want. I really hope he likes it.

See, look at his plans for the garden >
I hope I've done good :)

A cheeky Number Three - washed the kitchen floor and put the clothes washing on :) It's the little things - off to sleep now xxxx Can't post this until Andrew gets home or he may see it and it would ruin the surprise!

He was pleased - yipppeeee

9 comments:

  1. Glad you are feeling a bit more cheerful today

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  2. what a sweet gift for andrew! glad he liked it! and i'm glad you had some good moments today too :)

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  3. French holiday how exciting. We're staying near Royan courtesy of Mr Tesco in June. I love France, especially the food and wine! Glad you're feeling better today.

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  4. I read both of your posts today Carrie. I just listened to the first this morning :) but it's good to see that little bit of retail therapy for Andrew did the trick for you this afternoon. I know he will cherish that tree forever! :)

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  5. That Cherry is going to look lovely. You will be able to look at it when you feel like you did the other day and remember why you bought it for Andrew and how it made you feel.

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  6. I think that plants are such wonderful gifts to give, and receive because every time the receiver looks at it or passes it in the garden they will think of you .

    That cherry tree is going to be beautiful, I can see you and Andrew sipping tea under it as you catch up with the happenings of the day.

    Wonderful!

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  7. those flowering cherries are wonderful. Just wait until it blooms and that will be sure to put a smile on your face. xxxx

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  8. Cherry Blossom I love them so want to get one! so jealous! :(

    will have to post pics later when it comes into bloom :)

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  9. welcome Amg-Arts, fear not this tree will be photographed through out the year - you may even get bored, hahaha.

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