Wednesday, 10 November 2010

An Elbow epiphany

Another passion of mine is tapestry and embroidery. I started to do this when I found out I had permanent double vision - I'd had a vague interest in needlework and knitting before that but the knowledge that I shouldn't be able to do this made me want to prove science and my specialists wrong. (I'm a very stubborn girl.)

I recently came back to it with increased exposure to fellow artists on Etsy etc and this is some of what I have come up with so far, but it's much more than pretty threads and buttons.
I think too much, ask my Dr's, ask just about anyone :). But last night I was just laying in bed waiting for my hubby and thinking about what all I need to create and do for the upcoming Cookstown Winter Fair on the 19th of this month. I was having a mild panic attack and suddenly needed help to switch off. Beside me was my MP3 player  - Elbow was on when I pressed 'play', the song was 'weather to fly' and it really got me - right in the gut.

I have a desire to create, to make myself understood. As much as we all want to be individuals don't we all desperately hope to make that connection with others? Be it through art, writing, singing, music....we try to express our emotions and we long to know we aren't alone.

'...we decided instead we should pull out the thread that was stitching us into this tapestry vile' - these are lyrics in the song. They are also a wonderful, painful expression of the end of a relationship. Something which I have had to do in my life; end a painful, destructive union. It made me think, wouldn't it be so much easier if we could just rip out those stitches that bind us to the past, tie us to pain and confusion?? But we can't.

Instead we can pick up the needle, put a new thread through the eye and continue our life's tapestry with a different colour, a different pattern.

When I create - I grow.

My needlework shall now take on a different meaning, it may just be a personal thing and that's okay. But each stitch shall now be an affirmation of my choice to live a life that is not vile, to live in a world where I (up to a point) have the control to go in the direction I want and make new connections along the way. Possibly even making a life that is beautiful - a piece of art.

Elbow - 'weather to fly', on You tube

3 comments:

  1. 'We can pick up the needle, put a new thread through the eye and continue our life's tapestry with a different colour, a different pattern' that is quotable. Good writing in the new house!

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  2. Thank you Diana, it was difficult to write but I'm glad I did xxx

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  3. Beautiful & wise words, Carrie. I love your needlework. You are obviously very talented in this art form, as well. I love that it was the docs telling you you couldn't that motivated you to do it anyway. ;) Go to it, rebel artist heart!

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