Monday, 9 August 2010

Bloomin' Monday

hello remember me? I took a break from the blogging whilst Andrew was off; sorry if that last post was a bit graphic but it's how I felt and I needed to express myself. I haven't been much better since then and the attacks and the depression are continuing to plague me, my every thought.

Even today (which is a beautiful summer day were I would eat a little ice cream if I liked the stuff) has been turned sour.
I went   on my 3rd solo walk, it was going quite well and Maggie was being a good girl but then this lady started shouting at me from across the road (which she and her friend's cars were blocking), I was panicky and nearly home so forgive me but I ignored her, 4 times (yes I know, I'm horrible), then she touched my shoulder and liver flew up into my mouth. She had me crushed up against a wall and complained that she had been calling me - I told her 'sorry, I'm having a panic attack- need to get home', but she started asking many a question about how to get to Mauds (my fave coffee and bun cafe - famous for ice cream). She just would not let me go, and was smiling away as if I was just startled by her loveliness. Information was gurgled out and then (heavens preserve me) I ran like a little girl the rest of the way home. It's taken an hour for me to calm down and for the low screaming sound to stop in my head.

So your wonderful post on the fab flowers at the lottie will have to reduced to this.
A bunch of Cone Flowers that Andrew picked for me about 5 days ago and a posey I picked on Saturday, with my sweet peas, a dahlia and 2 miniature ilium seed heads in my favourite jar.

I also picked a posey of my 'Cupani' sweet peas (the purple and pink ones) hand tied them all professional like and gave them to the first person I saw (that was the rule in my head), which happened to be a very hard working lady, who was a bit miffed as we don't know each other :) Spreading a little free love is my new vice baby ;) ~ but please, only when I am not having an attack.

Wishing you a happy, relaxed afternoon/evening and let us all have a better tomorrow xxxx

7 comments:

  1. Oh, dear heart, I'm sorry that happened to you just as you were nearing home. Panic attacks are miserable experiences. I must say, that woman sounds a bit deranged. Who shouts at a stranger on the street, to ask for directions? Maybe it is a cultural thing, but it would not happen around here unless that person's porch light wasn't too bright, you know what I mean?

    What about the rest of the walk, though? Sounds like you were doing okay until then. Do you remember any of it once the panic has subsided and you can reflect calmly?

    Lovely new rule, by the way. Random acts of kindness are so needed in this world. Just don't forget to be extra kind to Carrie first... Sending you the residual joy of a hummingbird encounter first thing this a.m. :)

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  2. How insensitive of her - you weren't being horrid at all but it seems that she was!

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  3. Thank you so much, now it's all over and in the delete box of my mind I release she was very rude indeed! I could barely talk and there she was asking for distances and signposts, oh I hope she got her lovely ice cream and I don't see her again!
    And you are right Meredith, the rest of the walk was really nice, I shall take you all on it (virtually) some stunning scences and beautiful gardens.

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  4. Carrie dearest ! .. that woman should NOT have bothered you at all .. too bad I wasn't there .. even with a limpy leg I would have kicked her in the shins ? haha .. Seriously those people that press themselves upon others that are obviously trying to get away from them .. well how DUMB can they be ? .. I know .. DUMB DUMB!
    I just got over a fright myself and my heart was pounding in my chest too. Are we both having a terrible Monday ?
    I love the flowers and seeing the cone flowers that are just like mine ? we are connected sister ! LOL .. thank you for stopping by my blog when I am so slow at visiting yours .. things are still such a mess here with my injury .. I feel totally useless even though John and Ian are so good .. maybe if we wish really hard .. you will be in your new nest and my leg will be back to normal .. OK ?? WISH WISH WISH : ) Take care sweetie !

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  5. Waah! Why couldn't the miffed lady you gave flowers too, have been one of the civilized, human, beings?? I'll say sorry for the first one, and thank you for the second one. WE like you ;>)

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  6. Sweet Carrie,

    Sending love and hugs your way to mitigate all the bad stuff.

    Good going Andrew, picking flowers for his love, xoxo
    Alice

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  7. I must confess that I would've been at a loss on how to respond to that... erm, "unusual" woman too, Carrie. I probably would've gotten myself out of there quick smart too. :(

    And, yeah, I concur with Elephant's Eye... WE like you! :)

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